Written by Karalyn Dane. Karalyn, the newest member of the Jewrotica team, is the author of Sweet Dreams.
1. The person carving the turkey is Lord of the table. Though shalt not discuss your new-found vegetarianism as the turkey is being carved, or at least not while he’s holding the knife.
2. You must have no other sexual orientation other than the one everybody already knows about. Trust me, this is not a good time to make any announcements unless you know it will lead to a mazal tov (see commandment #1 re: knife).
3. Do not drink too much, lest yourshikker (drunken) state cause you to reveal too much about your personal life. It is likely you will pay for these slip-ups for a few decades, if not generations.
4. Thou shall be gracious and kind to everyone at the table and not make any sexual innuendos about breasts, thighs, mounds of mashed potatoes, stuffing or gravy.
5. DO NOT bite the hand that feeds you no matter how much you want to.
6. Thou shalt not present any new body piercings or tattoos at the thanksgiving table.
7. Honor you father and mother so that they will continue to help pay for things. Kvetch (complain) too much and they might stop.
8. Do not do anything inappropriate at the table, on the table or under the table, at least until the table has been cleared and everyone has gone to sleep.
9. Do not covet thy sister’s boyfriend, thy brother’s girlfriend, thy cousin, aunt, uncle, niece or nephew, because it is likely you will never live it down nor be allowed to ever forget it and it will likely be the topic of conversation at every future thanksgiving meal so long as you both shall live.
10. Remember that this is your family and no matter how crazy they drive you, you will be going home soon.
Celebrating 10 Years & Marking the End of An Amazing Project
Celebrating 10 Years & Marking the End of An Amazing Project
My opinion on Jewrotica is: It’s sexy. It’s awesome. It’s Judaism to the next level. It’s what we should all be getting into!
I love the inclusiveness – there is something for everyone, in and out of the Jewish community.
I’m so glad that Jewrotica is represented here at Jewlicious! It’s bringing voices that need to be heard in the Jewish discussion and Jewish climate environment.
Such an amazing experience! The Sarah Lawrence Jewrotica workshop was more than I could have ever expected – a comfortable, safe, sultry environment where participants clearly felt good about sharing or listening to each other’s intimate experiences and relating them to sexy stories from the Torah. From the moment the workshop began, Ayo had a sweet presence that was kinetic and spread around the room; her storytelling abilities had everyone enraptured and made the conversation topics relata… Read more
The people behind Jewrotica are quite quality! I have confidence that any project these folks take on will be equally quality.
I stepped out of my comfort zone to be a part of this. I was glad to open up the topic of sexuality in my community. We are trying to build a safe space to talk about sex. The result I am most happy about coming from this event is that hopefully now my friends know they can come and talk to me, that I can be their ‘safe space’.
While many people fear the “sex talk,” Jewrotica offers an opportunity for writers and audiences to speak about sexuality in a open and safe space. When I attended a Jewrotica reading, I heard stories that reminded me that love takes many forms, and that expressing it is a vital part of who we are as a people.
Bedside Reading with Jewrotica was funny, sexy, and hot all at once. The readings were honest about all kinds of sexuality, but the highlight of the evening was definitely the confessions, written by audience participants. Nobody knew who wrote them, and most were tell-alls that would make your bubbe blush. Unless your bubbe was very, very cool. Then maybe she’d make YOU blush!
I’m Heshy Fried from Frum Satire and I am very, very frum. And I completely support Jewrotica – it’s doing a service to the frum community. We need some sort of kosher sexual education. Jewrotica even has a system that allows frum filters to filter out certain things to make it PG for us. It’s mamish Torah. It’s like The Little Midrash Says for sex.
Jewrotica is something that the community has needed for a long time so that people can actually learn, express and share and have good relationships without having to stumble through life. Check out the site and learn something. Have fun!
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