Written by Karalyn Dane. Karalyn is a first-time Jewrotica writer.
Wednesday evening, and Agrat bat Mahlat was cruising down Ocean Drive. It was a balmy summer night, some might say hot as hell, and sea salt drifted in off the Atlantic, coating more than just the rim of every margarita glass. Agrat parked her olive green Hummer H2 in a disabled parking spot, and whispered to the eighteen messengers of destruction who normally drove her chariot, but were now quite unhappily belted into the back seat to watch out for cops. “If they show up, do whatever it is you would normally do to people who get in your way,” she instructed with a dismissive wave of her hand.
She stopped to check her made-up face in one of the side mirrors, bending over seductively, licking her lips and tucking a lock of copper hair behind her slightly pointy ear. “It’ll do,” she said to no one in particular. When she stood up to take in her surroundings she had already attracted appreciative stares from three men with hungry eyes. She smiled her usual sultry, seductive smile (as if there were any other kinds of smiles?) and thought, “piece of cake.”
Agrat was hungry. Men today just didn’t seem to pack the same kind of punch as they used to, she mused as she sauntered over to the closest of the three gawkers in her thigh-high spike-heeled boots and tossed her hair in his direction. “Buy me a drink?” she suggested, slipping her arm into his, which was seemingly frozen in place. “Close your mouth, dear, that’s right. Let’s go,” she said as she led the way. “What’s your name?”
“Luke,” the tall, dark, and handsome young man replied, huskily.
“Good boy. I like sex on the beach in those big plastic tumbler thingies. With a straw, k?”
Luke nodded, never taking his eyes off her generous breasts, pushed up and out of her red leather bra to the point of near obscenity. Agrat put her hand on his chin and forced his head forward. “Watch where you’re walking, yeah?”
Luke nodded and cleared his throat. “You, uh, come here often?”
Agrat smiled and licked her burgundy glossed lips. “You could say that, though when I’m done with you, I won’t be the only one coming here.”
“Why don’t we just skip straight to the “sex on the beach” and forget about the drink?” Luke asked, greedily.
Agrat narrowed her eyes. “You will buy me a drink.”
“I think I’ll buy you a drink first,” Luke said.
“Good boy.” Agrat hummed. “And then you will take me dancing.”
“And then, how about we go dancing?” Luke suggested with a smile, as though it was his idea all along.
“I love dancing!” Agrat let out a fake giggle.
Seriously? This was just getting easier and easier.
Celebrating 10 Years & Marking the End of An Amazing Project
Celebrating 10 Years & Marking the End of An Amazing Project
What an incredible night Jewrotica was!!!! There was this fantastic moment, in a sea of Jews of all sexualities, ages, backgrounds and denominations, that I realized we were all in this together! I hope that there are many more events coming to Austin soon!
Jewrotica was everything I had dreamed of and more: sexy attendees, tantalizing confessions, and well-written literature to boot! More importantly, it empowers us Jews to reach inside and own our sexy selves and heritage!
Learning about sex and what’s right and wrong when it comes to sex from a Biblical standpoint was an eye opening experience. I completely enjoyed it and think something like this could be a very cool thing to bring to even high school aged Jewish youth groups.
Jewrotica is awesome. It expands the mind and for people who were raised with narrow views on sexuality. Whether you are Jewish or not, or in different sects of Judaism like Orthodox, Conservative or Reform, no matter what your background or where you’re from, Jewrotica gets you to see Judaism and how it relates to sexuality in new ways. I really appreciate Ayo being here and helping us learn different ways to connect with our sexuality.
I love the inclusiveness – there is something for everyone, in and out of the Jewish community.
Such an amazing experience! The Sarah Lawrence Jewrotica workshop was more than I could have ever expected – a comfortable, safe, sultry environment where participants clearly felt good about sharing or listening to each other’s intimate experiences and relating them to sexy stories from the Torah. From the moment the workshop began, Ayo had a sweet presence that was kinetic and spread around the room; her storytelling abilities had everyone enraptured and made the conversation topics relata… Read more
The people behind Jewrotica are quite quality! I have confidence that any project these folks take on will be equally quality.
You may not tell your mom that you’re going to a live Jewrotica reading (or whatever clever name you will dub these events) but you will tell your friends. However, both would be jealous if they find out that they missed it. I think it will only be a matter of time before Jewrotica helps us reclaim the term “Dirty Jew” the way rap music has done for “The ‘N’ Word.” I know I am now proud to be a Dirty Jew!
Jewrotica is something that the community has needed for a long time so that people can actually learn, express and share and have good relationships without having to stumble through life. Check out the site and learn something. Have fun!
I had a great time deejaying at the Jewrotica event at Columbia University. The live readings were hilarious, informative, and in some cases, deeply moving. I know that I, along with many of my AEPi fraternity brothers, loved being able to connect our Judaism and our sexuality in a way that made all of us feel comfortable and welcome. I look forward to being a part of this again in the future!
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