Written by Davida. Davida is a first-time Jewrotica writer.
It’s mikvah night and we are not talking.
He makes an offhand remark. It’s something that triggers my ire every single time he brings it up – but he does it just as I am leaving to dunk.
The whole time I am preparing my body, the dark cloud of anger hangs over me. It twists and turns in my gut. I am resentful that I have to do all of this work to sanctify myself when he’s made me so angry.
I’ve missed him, physically. The dreams I’ve had the last few nights have been X-rated. I want nothing more than to be naked next to him, under him, on top of him…
I dip into the water. I make the blessing. I get out and get dressed while a tempest still brews within. I come home and ignore him. I really want to run to him, to plaster myself against him, to tell him I cannot wait for him to be inside me, as soon as the kids are asleep – but I can’t. I am too pissed off. I crave him but I won’t let myself give in.
We’re both busy with the kids. My storm cloud is still hovering. He gives me a wide berth. It’s a smart move, yet a dumb one. All he needs to say is he’s sorry and I’ll melt in his arms. How can he not know that by now?
We head to bed. I’m sniffling into my pillow – I hate being mad at him. He’s lying next to me sighing and rolling his eyes. We eventually talk – he won’t apologize even though he knows that by apologizing he’ll get some. It’s more important to be right.
I am even more upset and cry harder. All I want is an apology so we can have some sex. At some point my tears start to bother him. He begins to feel like he ought to do something. He puts his hand lightly on my thigh – not moving it, just leaving it there. An invitation? An olive branch? I ignore it. I don’t move.
He moves his hand to my back. He strokes me on top of my grandma pajamas – the sex-repellers. I feel my resolve start to weaken. I haven’t had the pleasure of touch in 12 days. It’s a drug I’m craving.
He turns me around to face him. He holds me close, strokes my hair, wipes the tears off my face. He whispers “I’m sorry.” I say nothing. I feel him naked next to me, throbbing against my thigh. 0-60 in .4 seconds. He touches me and is raring to go. I tell myself he has to work for it.
Celebrating 10 Years & Marking the End of An Amazing Project
Celebrating 10 Years & Marking the End of An Amazing Project
The people behind Jewrotica are quite quality! I have confidence that any project these folks take on will be equally quality.
I attended and participated in last month’s Jewrotica event. The engaging performers and Ayo, our inviting host, inspired the audience to feel like one big community. What a great way to inspire our community to embrace sex as a beautiful thing that can be fun, exciting, sacred, sensual, ridiculous, scary and everything in between!
What an incredible night Jewrotica was!!!! There was this fantastic moment, in a sea of Jews of all sexualities, ages, backgrounds and denominations, that I realized we were all in this together! I hope that there are many more events coming to Austin soon!
Such an amazing experience! The Sarah Lawrence Jewrotica workshop was more than I could have ever expected – a comfortable, safe, sultry environment where participants clearly felt good about sharing or listening to each other’s intimate experiences and relating them to sexy stories from the Torah. From the moment the workshop began, Ayo had a sweet presence that was kinetic and spread around the room; her storytelling abilities had everyone enraptured and made the conversation topics relata… Read more
The Jewrotica event “Evening of Jewrotica: Bedside Reading” was awesome. As Master of Confessions, I got to read the deepest, darkest secrets of people in the room out loud… It was scintillating, titillating, and – yes – even educational!
At Jewrotica’s Evening of Bedside Readings, students declaimed monologues on sexual encounters that had a Jewish twist. At Columbia/Barnard Hillel, the speakers pushed their own boundaries by performing a range of explicit narratives that challenged how the audience thought of the relationship to Judaism and sex. During the speakers’ preparation, the arguments about which narratives would be appropriate forced students to take a stand and voice their opinion on their own beliefs about Judaism an… Read more
Learning about sex and what’s right and wrong when it comes to sex from a Biblical standpoint was an eye opening experience. I completely enjoyed it and think something like this could be a very cool thing to bring to even high school aged Jewish youth groups.
While many people fear the “sex talk,” Jewrotica offers an opportunity for writers and audiences to speak about sexuality in a open and safe space. When I attended a Jewrotica reading, I heard stories that reminded me that love takes many forms, and that expressing it is a vital part of who we are as a people.
I love the inclusiveness – there is something for everyone, in and out of the Jewish community.
Jewrotica is a great way to ask interesting questions about the interplay between sensuality and Jewish wisdom. Check it out.
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