Written by Yahalom. Yahalom is a first-time Jewrotica writer. Feel free to clarify any unfamiliar terms in the Jewrotica glossary.
I meet “Q” on a freezing Tuesday in January.
The most banal of meetings: a blind date, stupidly arranged for the first day back to school after winter break. It’s 10 degrees outside. I have 140 midterms to grade, and little inclination to fake-laugh at some guy’s jokes.
He texts that he is wearing a black hat, and I envision some terrifying cross between hipster and hasid, a fear dispelled in fifteen seconds of first-date conversation.
“I’m a classical musician,” he tells me. I cross “possible hipster?” off my big, prefab list of Reasons Why It Won’t Work Out.
As for his hashkafa: no issue here. The man is not a Jew.
This, I think with some measure of satisfaction, will never last.
Except, for some reason, it does.
I suppose no one ever “intends” to fall in love. That old chestnut: That’s why we call it falling, yuk yuk yuk. The not-badness of our first date is so revelatory that it takes a few more dates for it to register that I am enjoying this. Not sighing in relief at the absence of badness, or shrugging a noncommittal “meh” when he asks me out again, but actually having fun. Pretty soon there are long late-night conversations, and public hand-holding, and dinner-making, and gooey feelings, and I’m in way, way over my head.
II: A Necessary Interlude
So, interfaith dating.
Though I was raised frum—K-12 Modern Orthodox education, a hilariously unsuccessful half-year of hippie seminary—I’ve been wandering Off the Derech for over five years, longer than I spent getting torah guidance at my Modern Orthodox high school. My deviation from the Orthodox party line is, I suspect, no more radical than your average rational person’s, but it’s hard to shake off 20-odd years of family practice, not to mention a 2,000-year-old cultural identity.
The labels are irrelevant, but they boil down to this: Despite some spiritual low points (two years of out-and-out atheism, flavored with whatever nihilistic apikorsus I was reading that week at secular college), I’ve carved out a derech for myself. It’s not the Judaism of the OU, and it doesn’t have to be.
In another time, the Powers that Be might have called me Acher and dispensed with me; in 2012, I’m very much a part of a religiously literate, if not ortho-prax, culturally and spiritually vibrant Jewish conversation. Before “Q,” I imagined myself ending up with a post-Orthodox guy who, like me, had had his fun crossing all the lines in the sand during his rumspringa, and was looking for a way to embrace, if not halakha, then its spiritual cousin, “cultural practice.”
Somehow, I found myself dating a man who had no relationship to Judaism whatsoever.
Celebrating 10 Years & Marking the End of An Amazing Project
Celebrating 10 Years & Marking the End of An Amazing Project
At Jewrotica’s Evening of Bedside Readings, students declaimed monologues on sexual encounters that had a Jewish twist. At Columbia/Barnard Hillel, the speakers pushed their own boundaries by performing a range of explicit narratives that challenged how the audience thought of the relationship to Judaism and sex. During the speakers’ preparation, the arguments about which narratives would be appropriate forced students to take a stand and voice their opinion on their own beliefs about Judaism an… Read more
The Jewrotica event “Evening of Jewrotica: Bedside Reading” was awesome. As Master of Confessions, I got to read the deepest, darkest secrets of people in the room out loud… It was scintillating, titillating, and – yes – even educational!
The people behind Jewrotica are quite quality! I have confidence that any project these folks take on will be equally quality.
Such an amazing experience! The Sarah Lawrence Jewrotica workshop was more than I could have ever expected – a comfortable, safe, sultry environment where participants clearly felt good about sharing or listening to each other’s intimate experiences and relating them to sexy stories from the Torah. From the moment the workshop began, Ayo had a sweet presence that was kinetic and spread around the room; her storytelling abilities had everyone enraptured and made the conversation topics relata… Read more
Jewrotica is something that the community has needed for a long time so that people can actually learn, express and share and have good relationships without having to stumble through life. Check out the site and learn something. Have fun!
Jewrotica is inspiring Jews and erotica with holiness and coolness, and is the pride of progressive Judaism. Jewrotica – awesome!
You may not tell your mom that you’re going to a live Jewrotica reading (or whatever clever name you will dub these events) but you will tell your friends. However, both would be jealous if they find out that they missed it. I think it will only be a matter of time before Jewrotica helps us reclaim the term “Dirty Jew” the way rap music has done for “The ‘N’ Word.” I know I am now proud to be a Dirty Jew!
I stepped out of my comfort zone to be a part of this. I was glad to open up the topic of sexuality in my community. We are trying to build a safe space to talk about sex. The result I am most happy about coming from this event is that hopefully now my friends know they can come and talk to me, that I can be their ‘safe space’.
Jewrotica was everything I had dreamed of and more: sexy attendees, tantalizing confessions, and well-written literature to boot! More importantly, it empowers us Jews to reach inside and own our sexy selves and heritage!
I had a great time deejaying at the Jewrotica event at Columbia University. The live readings were hilarious, informative, and in some cases, deeply moving. I know that I, along with many of my AEPi fraternity brothers, loved being able to connect our Judaism and our sexuality in a way that made all of us feel comfortable and welcome. I look forward to being a part of this again in the future!
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