Flair, Hair and Questionable Acumen : Love-Poem for The Nanny


Image Credit

Written by Augusta Abravanel.

Rated PG-13

Nasal voice and nasal squeal
Aqua-Netted hair galore
High on her heels and never a bore
Who’s this broad that makes man and beast yield?
The Nanny chez Sheffield.

Raised to marry handsome and rich
The lady’s a tramp, teeming with kitsch
Patriach Sheffield finds her beguiling
Meanwhile Fran Fine is compiling
Tricks of the trade to use instead
To get the boss man into bed.

Before her arrival the house was a mess
Order from chaos thanks to this leggy Jewess
The three children are sometimes annoying
But without them what’s the use of employing
Such a fine Hebraic specimen
Flair, hair and questionable acumen.

Niles the Butler and C.C. Babcock
Hurling zingers around the clock
Betraying underlying sexual tension
As they eavesdrop thru the phone extension
What yentas are this goyish pair!
Doomed to a co-dependent love affair.

Both her ma and Grandma Yetta
Approve of Ms. Fine’s low cut sweata
Eating treif and spouting Yiddish
The Fine women are anything but nebbish
They say “Franny, whats a Queen without a King?”
Cos it don’t mean a thing if you ain’t got that ring.

Jewrotica is a spankin' new project with the power to provide a voice for Jewish sexual expression and meaningful conversation. Jewrotica is an online community-in-the-making and a database of delicious and grin-inducing Jewish stories and confessions. Join us!