Abraham
He was nothing to write home about, really. Abraham was the kind of guy you stayed with because you really loved him, not because the sex was so great. He was so busy welcoming guests he hardly had the energy to make the beast with two backs most of the time, and when he was in the mood he felt weird about it because Sarah looked like a little girl. Plus, the relationship between husband and wife was always strained by the way he liked to pretend to be her brother. Way awkward.
King David
Definitely bisexual, and more than a little entitled, sleeping with David was like sleeping with the most popular guy in school. A great notch to have in your belt, but ultimately kind of a letdown. With David, it was really all about the chase, and once he got you, he didn’t really know what to do with you. His talents with the lyre, though, suggest that his digital work was excellent.
Jonah
Jonah was a nightmare in bed. You’d spend days chasing him down because something about him was very attractive, but once you got him between the sheets he was a real downer, and afterwards would immediately fall into a very deep sleep. He whined constantly, and would never take the hint when you were trying to get him to try something new.
Mordecai
A very jealous lover, and generally melodramatic. He’d make you do all the work, but it was worth it to be with the guy who knew everyone, and who everyone owed a favor.
Of course, my friends and I wanted to be egalitarian–we certainly didn’t ignore the women in favor of the men! Stay tuned for Part 2 of “Behind Closed Doors with the Men and Women of the Bible,” also known as “What Happens When Jewish Kids Get Drunk.”
Celebrating 10 Years & Marking the End of An Amazing Project
Celebrating 10 Years & Marking the End of An Amazing Project
I attended and participated in last month’s Jewrotica event. The engaging performers and Ayo, our inviting host, inspired the audience to feel like one big community. What a great way to inspire our community to embrace sex as a beautiful thing that can be fun, exciting, sacred, sensual, ridiculous, scary and everything in between!
At Jewrotica’s Evening of Bedside Readings, students declaimed monologues on sexual encounters that had a Jewish twist. At Columbia/Barnard Hillel, the speakers pushed their own boundaries by performing a range of explicit narratives that challenged how the audience thought of the relationship to Judaism and sex. During the speakers’ preparation, the arguments about which narratives would be appropriate forced students to take a stand and voice their opinion on their own beliefs about Judaism an… Read more
I’m so glad that Jewrotica is represented here at Jewlicious! It’s bringing voices that need to be heard in the Jewish discussion and Jewish climate environment.
My opinion on Jewrotica is: It’s sexy. It’s awesome. It’s Judaism to the next level. It’s what we should all be getting into!
While many people fear the “sex talk,” Jewrotica offers an opportunity for writers and audiences to speak about sexuality in a open and safe space. When I attended a Jewrotica reading, I heard stories that reminded me that love takes many forms, and that expressing it is a vital part of who we are as a people.
I’m Heshy Fried from Frum Satire and I am very, very frum. And I completely support Jewrotica – it’s doing a service to the frum community. We need some sort of kosher sexual education. Jewrotica even has a system that allows frum filters to filter out certain things to make it PG for us. It’s mamish Torah. It’s like The Little Midrash Says for sex.
Jewrotica was everything I had dreamed of and more: sexy attendees, tantalizing confessions, and well-written literature to boot! More importantly, it empowers us Jews to reach inside and own our sexy selves and heritage!
The Jewrotica event “Evening of Jewrotica: Bedside Reading” was awesome. As Master of Confessions, I got to read the deepest, darkest secrets of people in the room out loud… It was scintillating, titillating, and – yes – even educational!
I’m into Jewrotica. I went in for my second circumcision.
Jewrotica is something that the community has needed for a long time so that people can actually learn, express and share and have good relationships without having to stumble through life. Check out the site and learn something. Have fun!
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