Written by Karalyn Dane. Karalyn is a first-time Jewrotica writer.
Wednesday evening, and Agrat bat Mahlat was cruising down Ocean Drive. It was a balmy summer night, some might say hot as hell, and sea salt drifted in off the Atlantic, coating more than just the rim of every margarita glass. Agrat parked her olive green Hummer H2 in a disabled parking spot, and whispered to the eighteen messengers of destruction who normally drove her chariot, but were now quite unhappily belted into the back seat to watch out for cops. “If they show up, do whatever it is you would normally do to people who get in your way,” she instructed with a dismissive wave of her hand.
She stopped to check her made-up face in one of the side mirrors, bending over seductively, licking her lips and tucking a lock of copper hair behind her slightly pointy ear. “It’ll do,” she said to no one in particular. When she stood up to take in her surroundings she had already attracted appreciative stares from three men with hungry eyes. She smiled her usual sultry, seductive smile (as if there were any other kinds of smiles?) and thought, “piece of cake.”
Agrat was hungry. Men today just didn’t seem to pack the same kind of punch as they used to, she mused as she sauntered over to the closest of the three gawkers in her thigh-high spike-heeled boots and tossed her hair in his direction. “Buy me a drink?” she suggested, slipping her arm into his, which was seemingly frozen in place. “Close your mouth, dear, that’s right. Let’s go,” she said as she led the way. “What’s your name?”
“Luke,” the tall, dark, and handsome young man replied, huskily.
“Good boy. I like sex on the beach in those big plastic tumbler thingies. With a straw, k?”
Luke nodded, never taking his eyes off her generous breasts, pushed up and out of her red leather bra to the point of near obscenity. Agrat put her hand on his chin and forced his head forward. “Watch where you’re walking, yeah?”
Luke nodded and cleared his throat. “You, uh, come here often?”
Agrat smiled and licked her burgundy glossed lips. “You could say that, though when I’m done with you, I won’t be the only one coming here.”
“Why don’t we just skip straight to the “sex on the beach” and forget about the drink?” Luke asked, greedily.
Agrat narrowed her eyes. “You will buy me a drink.”
“I think I’ll buy you a drink first,” Luke said.
“Good boy.” Agrat hummed. “And then you will take me dancing.”
“And then, how about we go dancing?” Luke suggested with a smile, as though it was his idea all along.
“I love dancing!” Agrat let out a fake giggle.
Seriously? This was just getting easier and easier.
Celebrating 10 Years & Marking the End of An Amazing Project
Celebrating 10 Years & Marking the End of An Amazing Project
Such an amazing experience! The Sarah Lawrence Jewrotica workshop was more than I could have ever expected – a comfortable, safe, sultry environment where participants clearly felt good about sharing or listening to each other’s intimate experiences and relating them to sexy stories from the Torah. From the moment the workshop began, Ayo had a sweet presence that was kinetic and spread around the room; her storytelling abilities had everyone enraptured and made the conversation topics relata… Read more
Jewrotica is a great way to ask interesting questions about the interplay between sensuality and Jewish wisdom. Check it out.
Jewrotica was everything I had dreamed of and more: sexy attendees, tantalizing confessions, and well-written literature to boot! More importantly, it empowers us Jews to reach inside and own our sexy selves and heritage!
I stepped out of my comfort zone to be a part of this. I was glad to open up the topic of sexuality in my community. We are trying to build a safe space to talk about sex. The result I am most happy about coming from this event is that hopefully now my friends know they can come and talk to me, that I can be their ‘safe space’.
The Jewrotica event “Evening of Jewrotica: Bedside Reading” was awesome. As Master of Confessions, I got to read the deepest, darkest secrets of people in the room out loud… It was scintillating, titillating, and – yes – even educational!
While many people fear the “sex talk,” Jewrotica offers an opportunity for writers and audiences to speak about sexuality in a open and safe space. When I attended a Jewrotica reading, I heard stories that reminded me that love takes many forms, and that expressing it is a vital part of who we are as a people.
I’m into Jewrotica. I went in for my second circumcision.
What an incredible night Jewrotica was!!!! There was this fantastic moment, in a sea of Jews of all sexualities, ages, backgrounds and denominations, that I realized we were all in this together! I hope that there are many more events coming to Austin soon!
You may not tell your mom that you’re going to a live Jewrotica reading (or whatever clever name you will dub these events) but you will tell your friends. However, both would be jealous if they find out that they missed it. I think it will only be a matter of time before Jewrotica helps us reclaim the term “Dirty Jew” the way rap music has done for “The ‘N’ Word.” I know I am now proud to be a Dirty Jew!
Jewrotica rocks. It’s funny, it’s informative, it’s sexy, it’s interesting. Check it out!
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