I spent a long time feeling guilty about this fantasy. After all, sexual aggression and assault are horrible things. If I started out thinking about forced kissing, how long would it be before I became aroused by rape and other intense forms of sexual assault? How could I allow myself to dwell on these thoughts or to – God forbid – glorify them?
My fantasy life felt highly transgressive and it was only years later – after I embraced the value of fantasies and shed the guilt and embarrassment associated with them – that I was blessed with my first of many orgasms, body sprawled on the couch – relaxed and tingly, vibrator in hand, my mind miles away in some far-off dreamt up yishuv and the height of the fantasy no longer “too intense” to continue. I don’t know if there is a bracha that can be said on the female orgasm, but there should be.
Years after the movie’s release and in a way my own release, I have come to realize two important lessons:
1) Some people argue against this website because Jewrotica “takes what is private and makes it public”.
I understand the argument, but – though there is value in tzniut – the extent of silence regarding sexuality and the stigmatization of everything relating to this topic negatively affect the development of healthy sexuality.
Perhaps people shouldn’t go around dishing about the most intimate details of their sex lives – especially with their true names attached – but there is a need for Jewish sexual discussion and expression. There is the need to familiarize sexuality in a Jewish cultural context and to get educated. And I’m excited to see that Jewrotica will be publishing saucy, entertaining pieces as well as thoughtful educational articles.
2) Fantasies are normal. More than this, dark fantasies are common amongst women and are also very normal. It took me a long time to realize and accept this. I only recently told my husband about the “camp fire” fantasy because I was so embarrassed and felt negatively about it.
Everyone has a different path to take. But, for me, it was only through sharing the fantasy with my husband and embracing this scene that had haunted me for so long that I was able to truly discover, empower and own my sexuality.
The human brain is complex and most psychologists and sex therapists still don’t fully understand why particular things turn us on and where our fantasies come from, but taboo things aren’t so taboo when you realize that they are a common and even positive part of human functioning. And – from conversations with friends – everyone thinks that they are the only ones to have a particular fantasy or turn-on. But it’s not true: you’re not the only one and you’re not alone.
Celebrating 10 Years & Marking the End of An Amazing Project
Celebrating 10 Years & Marking the End of An Amazing Project
Jewrotica is awesome. It expands the mind and for people who were raised with narrow views on sexuality. Whether you are Jewish or not, or in different sects of Judaism like Orthodox, Conservative or Reform, no matter what your background or where you’re from, Jewrotica gets you to see Judaism and how it relates to sexuality in new ways. I really appreciate Ayo being here and helping us learn different ways to connect with our sexuality.
While many people fear the “sex talk,” Jewrotica offers an opportunity for writers and audiences to speak about sexuality in a open and safe space. When I attended a Jewrotica reading, I heard stories that reminded me that love takes many forms, and that expressing it is a vital part of who we are as a people.
I’m into Jewrotica. I went in for my second circumcision.
Jewrotica is inspiring Jews and erotica with holiness and coolness, and is the pride of progressive Judaism. Jewrotica – awesome!
I stepped out of my comfort zone to be a part of this. I was glad to open up the topic of sexuality in my community. We are trying to build a safe space to talk about sex. The result I am most happy about coming from this event is that hopefully now my friends know they can come and talk to me, that I can be their ‘safe space’.
Jewrotica rocks. It’s funny, it’s informative, it’s sexy, it’s interesting. Check it out!
Jewrotica is something that the community has needed for a long time so that people can actually learn, express and share and have good relationships without having to stumble through life. Check out the site and learn something. Have fun!
I had a great time deejaying at the Jewrotica event at Columbia University. The live readings were hilarious, informative, and in some cases, deeply moving. I know that I, along with many of my AEPi fraternity brothers, loved being able to connect our Judaism and our sexuality in a way that made all of us feel comfortable and welcome. I look forward to being a part of this again in the future!
Bedside Reading with Jewrotica was funny, sexy, and hot all at once. The readings were honest about all kinds of sexuality, but the highlight of the evening was definitely the confessions, written by audience participants. Nobody knew who wrote them, and most were tell-alls that would make your bubbe blush. Unless your bubbe was very, very cool. Then maybe she’d make YOU blush!
I’m Heshy Fried from Frum Satire and I am very, very frum. And I completely support Jewrotica – it’s doing a service to the frum community. We need some sort of kosher sexual education. Jewrotica even has a system that allows frum filters to filter out certain things to make it PG for us. It’s mamish Torah. It’s like The Little Midrash Says for sex.
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