Beyond being “normal”, fantasies can improve your sex life and should be embraced. My fantasy was about loss of control. It allowed me to use my imagination and go places where I couldn’t go in real life and often would never want to actually experience in real life. Forceful sexuality and loss of control are still common themes in my current sexuality, and sometimes that freaks me out.
I have occasionally wondered… if I can only orgasm when thinking about forced situations, is that something that I need to stop or break? Is it… a fetish? But thankfully, I am no longer in a rush to label it. Fantasies are not harming my sex life. If anything, they are making my bedroom a more diverse and exciting place as I continue on this process of self-learning. And people’s tastes change, so maybe this won’t be what ‘does it for me’ in two years, but for now it’s helping and not hurting.
One last note: One of the deleterious effects of porn and westernized sexuality is that if you’re not having mind-blowing grand finale orgasms, you don’t feel “part of the club” and might even feel that there is something wrong with you. So for any women out there who – like me – were late bloomers or think that they are non-orgasmic, don’t give up! Contrary to perpetuated stereotypes, being frum and being sexually liberated don’t have to be mutually exclusive.
Pleasure and sexuality are beautifully complex and orgasm doesn’t have to be the end goal. However, if you have not yet orgasmed but want to, continue to explore your sexuality and be patient with yourself. Practice makes perfect, right?
So, let the conversations begin. Let the fantasies continue. And, Jewrotica, titchadshi!
Celebrating 10 Years & Marking the End of An Amazing Project
Celebrating 10 Years & Marking the End of An Amazing Project
Jewrotica is inspiring Jews and erotica with holiness and coolness, and is the pride of progressive Judaism. Jewrotica – awesome!
Jewrotica is awesome. It expands the mind and for people who were raised with narrow views on sexuality. Whether you are Jewish or not, or in different sects of Judaism like Orthodox, Conservative or Reform, no matter what your background or where you’re from, Jewrotica gets you to see Judaism and how it relates to sexuality in new ways. I really appreciate Ayo being here and helping us learn different ways to connect with our sexuality.
Jewrotica was everything I had dreamed of and more: sexy attendees, tantalizing confessions, and well-written literature to boot! More importantly, it empowers us Jews to reach inside and own our sexy selves and heritage!
While many people fear the “sex talk,” Jewrotica offers an opportunity for writers and audiences to speak about sexuality in a open and safe space. When I attended a Jewrotica reading, I heard stories that reminded me that love takes many forms, and that expressing it is a vital part of who we are as a people.
I’m so glad that Jewrotica is represented here at Jewlicious! It’s bringing voices that need to be heard in the Jewish discussion and Jewish climate environment.
What an incredible night Jewrotica was!!!! There was this fantastic moment, in a sea of Jews of all sexualities, ages, backgrounds and denominations, that I realized we were all in this together! I hope that there are many more events coming to Austin soon!
Jewrotica is something that the community has needed for a long time so that people can actually learn, express and share and have good relationships without having to stumble through life. Check out the site and learn something. Have fun!
Jewrotica is a great way to ask interesting questions about the interplay between sensuality and Jewish wisdom. Check it out.
I’m into Jewrotica. I went in for my second circumcision.
I had a great time deejaying at the Jewrotica event at Columbia University. The live readings were hilarious, informative, and in some cases, deeply moving. I know that I, along with many of my AEPi fraternity brothers, loved being able to connect our Judaism and our sexuality in a way that made all of us feel comfortable and welcome. I look forward to being a part of this again in the future!
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