Forgive the precise details of this rendering as it’s been eight years since I’ve seen the film, but this scene played and replayed in my head for years. And it was thinking about this scene that I experienced my very first orgasm – seven years later.
Allow me to explain why my experience with Medurat Hashevet was particularly powerful and strangely how it inaugurated me into the world of adult sexuality seven years after the fact:
1) Secular Israelis are so saturated with mainstream culture that it may be hard for them to understand just how deeply affecting an experience like this could be, but this was the first time that sexuality became relatable to me.
I had not ever been exposed to an environment like the one in the film. Growing up, I was always a “good girl” and had no desire to be promiscuous. I felt little connection to the sex oozing from western cultural influences like MTV. Outright sexual imagery didn’t interest me because I couldn’t relate.
But here – in this movie – was someone like me. And through this scene, the actors presented information in a new way that I could actually digest. A teenage girl from a dati li’umi environment going to a B’nai Akiva event on Lag Ba’Omer? Quadruple check! The sexual energy, hunger and lust of the scene set in a familiar environment felt real and translated back into my own life. Whereas a secular person may not have thought twice about the scene, these images were incredibly powerful given my religious and cultural milieu.
2) Losing myself in the campfire scene gave me permission to feel sexual. After all, Tami didn’t actually want any of what they were doing. She was dressed tzniusly, she was attending a wholesome event and she didn’t have a real choice in what happened because they forced it on her. She couldn’t be blamed for participation. And by extension, I couldn’t be blamed for vicariously experiencing the scene and my own sexuality.
It was in this state of “blamelessness” that my mind was freed to explore the hidden realms of sexuality that had been kept from me for so long. I would replay this scene in my mind. Sometimes I would play the role of Tami. Sometimes I would be an observer. Occasionally I would let my imagination take the scene even further and become aroused as I saw the things that these boys would do to her. But for years – whether I was physically touching myself or just day dreaming and thinking about the scene – there always got to a point in the fantasy where things would feel “too intense” and I would stop – pleasured and aroused but shy of orgasm.
Celebrating 10 Years & Marking the End of An Amazing Project
Celebrating 10 Years & Marking the End of An Amazing Project
Jewrotica is something that the community has needed for a long time so that people can actually learn, express and share and have good relationships without having to stumble through life. Check out the site and learn something. Have fun!
I’m so glad that Jewrotica is represented here at Jewlicious! It’s bringing voices that need to be heard in the Jewish discussion and Jewish climate environment.
I stepped out of my comfort zone to be a part of this. I was glad to open up the topic of sexuality in my community. We are trying to build a safe space to talk about sex. The result I am most happy about coming from this event is that hopefully now my friends know they can come and talk to me, that I can be their ‘safe space’.
What an incredible night Jewrotica was!!!! There was this fantastic moment, in a sea of Jews of all sexualities, ages, backgrounds and denominations, that I realized we were all in this together! I hope that there are many more events coming to Austin soon!
I had a great time deejaying at the Jewrotica event at Columbia University. The live readings were hilarious, informative, and in some cases, deeply moving. I know that I, along with many of my AEPi fraternity brothers, loved being able to connect our Judaism and our sexuality in a way that made all of us feel comfortable and welcome. I look forward to being a part of this again in the future!
While many people fear the “sex talk,” Jewrotica offers an opportunity for writers and audiences to speak about sexuality in a open and safe space. When I attended a Jewrotica reading, I heard stories that reminded me that love takes many forms, and that expressing it is a vital part of who we are as a people.
I attended and participated in last month’s Jewrotica event. The engaging performers and Ayo, our inviting host, inspired the audience to feel like one big community. What a great way to inspire our community to embrace sex as a beautiful thing that can be fun, exciting, sacred, sensual, ridiculous, scary and everything in between!
Jewrotica is a great way to ask interesting questions about the interplay between sensuality and Jewish wisdom. Check it out.
The Jewrotica event “Evening of Jewrotica: Bedside Reading” was awesome. As Master of Confessions, I got to read the deepest, darkest secrets of people in the room out loud… It was scintillating, titillating, and – yes – even educational!
Jewrotica rocks. It’s funny, it’s informative, it’s sexy, it’s interesting. Check it out!
Copyright © 2014 Jewrotica.org. All Rights Reserved.
Built with Love and Mischief.
Designed by Ayo Oppenheimer and
David Abitbol
Pingback: Censorship, Deceit and Values | Jewrotica