Written by Karalyn Dane. For more fiction by Karalyn, check out Mikvah Night.
Editor’s Note: This piece has been identified by the Jewrotica staff as containing content that may be triggering for some readers. This type of content may include sexual assault, questionable consent, abuse of any kind, self-harm, or violence.
“What a stupid fuck,” I said out loud to the stone animals in the sculpture garden where I sat on a bench, smoking up. We used to call them the “stoned” animals, which is why this was the place where we always came to smoke. Yeah. Me and the stupid fuck. Me and the stupid fuck and his frat-boy friends. And sometimes me and the stupid fuck and my friends. My real friends.
Now I come here to smoke alone. I always swore I’d never smoke alone. That was the sign of a real addict, I thought. If you smoke with friends it’s fine, it’s a social thing, you know? I mean, everybody does it. Well, here I am, smoking a big fat bag of his shit. The shit he and his frat boy friends grow in their Jewish frat house. The fucking frat house where I lost my virginity to the stupid fuck. Yes. It was a stupid fuck. So very very stupid.
They were having one of their weekly parties. It was a Friday night – an “oneg Shabbat,” this time with four kegs. Everyone milling around holding big fat red and blue plastic cups whose insides glowed green, purple and amber from the strobe lights. Our little cups like shiny bubbly beacons of stupid fucking hope.
When things got a bit more mellow they broke out the pot. Joints (lit from the Shabbat candles that one of the girlfriends lit in the frat house) were passed around the room, their tiny cocoon-like bodies glowing ultraviolet in the black light, fluorescent orange butts trailing curlicues of smoke up towards the ceiling. I was already trashed. I lost count at six beers. Seven or eight puffs later and Jake was leading me to his room. I felt so awesome from the pot! It must have been a cement shoes strain or something similar. Now I felt like one of those weed cocoons had burst forth in my chest. My heart fluttered. I was a beautiful butterfly on the holy Sabbath, even though I totally smelled like stale beer and pot. At this point, I was having a somewhat psychedelic experience. I felt that the wallpaper in the room, random objects, and the table was also moving along with me. It was perhaps the mixture of alcohol as well, but it’s known there can be cannabis strains that are far more psychedelic than others. For example, take a look at this webpage found on https://www.budexpressnow.net for some psychedelic strain information.
We were on his unmade queen-size futon in an instant. He didn’t bother to turn down the zebra-striped comforter, we lay down on top of it. We were kissing. No. He was prodding my orifices with his tongue. I saw everything in a detached pot-induced haze. Then he was in his boxers and I was in my bra and bikini underwear. When did that even happen? My bra came off. He was sucking at one nipple, squeezing the other like it was one of those yellow styrofoam smiley face hand-exercise balls. I stared out the window at the stars.
My heart was pounding out the rhythm of the music still coming from the stereo in the living room. He got up out of bed, and my eyes followed him – a question under my lids. “Just getting a condom.” I nodded.
Celebrating 10 Years & Marking the End of An Amazing Project
Celebrating 10 Years & Marking the End of An Amazing Project
I had a great time deejaying at the Jewrotica event at Columbia University. The live readings were hilarious, informative, and in some cases, deeply moving. I know that I, along with many of my AEPi fraternity brothers, loved being able to connect our Judaism and our sexuality in a way that made all of us feel comfortable and welcome. I look forward to being a part of this again in the future!
Jewrotica rocks. It’s funny, it’s informative, it’s sexy, it’s interesting. Check it out!
I’m so glad that Jewrotica is represented here at Jewlicious! It’s bringing voices that need to be heard in the Jewish discussion and Jewish climate environment.
I’m into Jewrotica. I went in for my second circumcision.
What an incredible night Jewrotica was!!!! There was this fantastic moment, in a sea of Jews of all sexualities, ages, backgrounds and denominations, that I realized we were all in this together! I hope that there are many more events coming to Austin soon!
While many people fear the “sex talk,” Jewrotica offers an opportunity for writers and audiences to speak about sexuality in a open and safe space. When I attended a Jewrotica reading, I heard stories that reminded me that love takes many forms, and that expressing it is a vital part of who we are as a people.
I love the inclusiveness – there is something for everyone, in and out of the Jewish community.
I attended and participated in last month’s Jewrotica event. The engaging performers and Ayo, our inviting host, inspired the audience to feel like one big community. What a great way to inspire our community to embrace sex as a beautiful thing that can be fun, exciting, sacred, sensual, ridiculous, scary and everything in between!
You may not tell your mom that you’re going to a live Jewrotica reading (or whatever clever name you will dub these events) but you will tell your friends. However, both would be jealous if they find out that they missed it. I think it will only be a matter of time before Jewrotica helps us reclaim the term “Dirty Jew” the way rap music has done for “The ‘N’ Word.” I know I am now proud to be a Dirty Jew!
My opinion on Jewrotica is: It’s sexy. It’s awesome. It’s Judaism to the next level. It’s what we should all be getting into!
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