Written by Karalyn Dane. For more fiction by Karalyn, check out Mikvah Night.
Editor’s Note: This piece has been identified by the Jewrotica staff as containing content that may be triggering for some readers. This type of content may include sexual assault, questionable consent, abuse of any kind, self-harm, or violence.
“What a stupid fuck,” I said out loud to the stone animals in the sculpture garden where I sat on a bench, smoking up. We used to call them the “stoned” animals, which is why this was the place where we always came to smoke. Yeah. Me and the stupid fuck. Me and the stupid fuck and his frat-boy friends. And sometimes me and the stupid fuck and my friends. My real friends.
Now I come here to smoke alone. I always swore I’d never smoke alone. That was the sign of a real addict, I thought. If you smoke with friends it’s fine, it’s a social thing, you know? I mean, everybody does it. Well, here I am, smoking a big fat bag of his shit. The shit he and his frat boy friends grow in their Jewish frat house. The fucking frat house where I lost my virginity to the stupid fuck. Yes. It was a stupid fuck. So very very stupid.
They were having one of their weekly parties. It was a Friday night – an “oneg Shabbat,” this time with four kegs. Everyone milling around holding big fat red and blue plastic cups whose insides glowed green, purple and amber from the strobe lights. Our little cups like shiny bubbly beacons of stupid fucking hope.
When things got a bit more mellow they broke out the pot. Joints (lit from the Shabbat candles that one of the girlfriends lit in the frat house) were passed around the room, their tiny cocoon-like bodies glowing ultraviolet in the black light, fluorescent orange butts trailing curlicues of smoke up towards the ceiling. I was already trashed. I lost count at six beers. Seven or eight puffs later and Jake was leading me to his room. I felt so awesome from the pot! It must have been a cement shoes strain or something similar. Now I felt like one of those weed cocoons had burst forth in my chest. My heart fluttered. I was a beautiful butterfly on the holy Sabbath, even though I totally smelled like stale beer and pot. At this point, I was having a somewhat psychedelic experience. I felt that the wallpaper in the room, random objects, and the table was also moving along with me. It was perhaps the mixture of alcohol as well, but it’s known there can be cannabis strains that are far more psychedelic than others. For example, take a look at this webpage found on https://www.budexpressnow.net for some psychedelic strain information.
We were on his unmade queen-size futon in an instant. He didn’t bother to turn down the zebra-striped comforter, we lay down on top of it. We were kissing. No. He was prodding my orifices with his tongue. I saw everything in a detached pot-induced haze. Then he was in his boxers and I was in my bra and bikini underwear. When did that even happen? My bra came off. He was sucking at one nipple, squeezing the other like it was one of those yellow styrofoam smiley face hand-exercise balls. I stared out the window at the stars.
My heart was pounding out the rhythm of the music still coming from the stereo in the living room. He got up out of bed, and my eyes followed him – a question under my lids. “Just getting a condom.” I nodded.
Celebrating 10 Years & Marking the End of An Amazing Project
Celebrating 10 Years & Marking the End of An Amazing Project
I love the inclusiveness – there is something for everyone, in and out of the Jewish community.
While many people fear the “sex talk,” Jewrotica offers an opportunity for writers and audiences to speak about sexuality in a open and safe space. When I attended a Jewrotica reading, I heard stories that reminded me that love takes many forms, and that expressing it is a vital part of who we are as a people.
I’m into Jewrotica. I went in for my second circumcision.
I stepped out of my comfort zone to be a part of this. I was glad to open up the topic of sexuality in my community. We are trying to build a safe space to talk about sex. The result I am most happy about coming from this event is that hopefully now my friends know they can come and talk to me, that I can be their ‘safe space’.
Such an amazing experience! The Sarah Lawrence Jewrotica workshop was more than I could have ever expected – a comfortable, safe, sultry environment where participants clearly felt good about sharing or listening to each other’s intimate experiences and relating them to sexy stories from the Torah. From the moment the workshop began, Ayo had a sweet presence that was kinetic and spread around the room; her storytelling abilities had everyone enraptured and made the conversation topics relata… Read more
Jewrotica is a great way to ask interesting questions about the interplay between sensuality and Jewish wisdom. Check it out.
Learning about sex and what’s right and wrong when it comes to sex from a Biblical standpoint was an eye opening experience. I completely enjoyed it and think something like this could be a very cool thing to bring to even high school aged Jewish youth groups.
The people behind Jewrotica are quite quality! I have confidence that any project these folks take on will be equally quality.
Jewrotica was everything I had dreamed of and more: sexy attendees, tantalizing confessions, and well-written literature to boot! More importantly, it empowers us Jews to reach inside and own our sexy selves and heritage!
Bedside Reading with Jewrotica was funny, sexy, and hot all at once. The readings were honest about all kinds of sexuality, but the highlight of the evening was definitely the confessions, written by audience participants. Nobody knew who wrote them, and most were tell-alls that would make your bubbe blush. Unless your bubbe was very, very cool. Then maybe she’d make YOU blush!
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