Written by Simi Monheit. Simi is a first-time Jewrotica writer.
It had started with a circumcision. Of course it had. This particular circumcision, however, was not one that Sydney was particularly affected by. Around three weeks ago her younger brother, Benny, and his wife, Frima Sara (formerly known as Francine), were blessed by the birth of their first son. Naturally, they’d had a circumcision. But not your ordinary, early morning, bagel and lox circumcision.
Since Frima Sara was new to Orthodox Judaism, and since this was her first son, and since whatever she did was always the best and only way for anything to be done, this bris, as a circumcision is properly referred to by people in the know, was a full-on catered affair, strictly kosher, dress code casual, and hosted in the ballroom of one of the most magnificent synagogues on all of Long Island. The wonderful baby boy, unnamed until after the bris, had even considerately timed his arrival exactly eight days earlier, ensuring that his bris would take place on a Sunday morning. This happy timing guaranteed that nobody had an excuse to pray, eat, and run to work, the common practice at a regular weekday morning event.
It would have been nice, of course, if the baby had been born on Shabbas, but really Sunday was so much more convenient given the Shabbas restrictions against travel and cooking. It was generally agreed that Sunday mornings were the perfect time for a bris, and Little Baby Mandell had accommodated his mother’s wishes. Not like he was ever gonna have much choice with that, Sydney had thought, meanly, when she received the call about the birth. She loved her baby brother; the newly evolved Frima Sara was a work in progress.
But Sydney had been happy for them, and was excited by the idea of a new, round, sweet-smelling baby. She’d dressed carefully when she’d gotten up at dawn, making sure she left enough time to reach Long Island before the ceremony began. Even though she knew that all she could do from behind the curtain that blocked off the women’s section of the shul would be to gaze upon her sister-in-law and wish her strength as she handed her tiny baby over to the brutal, arguably barbaric rite of entry to the covenant between all Jewish males and God. As an unmarried childless woman Sydney was not in a position to offer her sister-in-law any meaningful solace. She could only sit with other unmarried hopefuls, and dream, or given their location, perhaps pray, for the day when she would be the woman sitting in the center of the circle, waiting to hear the wail of her newborn when his foreskin was lovingly, precisely, and ruthlessly sliced off his tender tiny penis.
And then the party. There were balloons festooning the ceiling, bright blue centerpieces of papier-mâché rocket ships and football helmets, tables laden with bagels, lox, whitefish salad, humus, pita, and bean salads, an omelet and waffle station, and a dessert table covered with every kind of danish, muffin, brownie, blue-iced cupcake, cheesecake and coffee crumble cake. In the center of the dessert table was an enormous challah, over which Yoni, Sydney’s older brother, recited the traditional bracha. Sydney was touched to see tears in his eyes, as well as in Benny’s and her father’s. She knew that her father had been the Sandek, the person who holds the baby’s legs still during the actual circumcision, the highest, most difficult honor bestowed at a bris. She was swallowing back her own tears when she felt a tap, more like a shove, on her shoulder. Her parents were beaming at her, and her father was holding out a piece of challah. “Shandaleh, have some, make a bracha, it’s mazaldik, (good luck), Em Yirtzah Hashem by you.” (God willing, your turn will come).
Celebrating 10 Years & Marking the End of An Amazing Project
Celebrating 10 Years & Marking the End of An Amazing Project
You may not tell your mom that you’re going to a live Jewrotica reading (or whatever clever name you will dub these events) but you will tell your friends. However, both would be jealous if they find out that they missed it. I think it will only be a matter of time before Jewrotica helps us reclaim the term “Dirty Jew” the way rap music has done for “The ‘N’ Word.” I know I am now proud to be a Dirty Jew!
I’m Heshy Fried from Frum Satire and I am very, very frum. And I completely support Jewrotica – it’s doing a service to the frum community. We need some sort of kosher sexual education. Jewrotica even has a system that allows frum filters to filter out certain things to make it PG for us. It’s mamish Torah. It’s like The Little Midrash Says for sex.
The Jewrotica event “Evening of Jewrotica: Bedside Reading” was awesome. As Master of Confessions, I got to read the deepest, darkest secrets of people in the room out loud… It was scintillating, titillating, and – yes – even educational!
I attended and participated in last month’s Jewrotica event. The engaging performers and Ayo, our inviting host, inspired the audience to feel like one big community. What a great way to inspire our community to embrace sex as a beautiful thing that can be fun, exciting, sacred, sensual, ridiculous, scary and everything in between!
Such an amazing experience! The Sarah Lawrence Jewrotica workshop was more than I could have ever expected – a comfortable, safe, sultry environment where participants clearly felt good about sharing or listening to each other’s intimate experiences and relating them to sexy stories from the Torah. From the moment the workshop began, Ayo had a sweet presence that was kinetic and spread around the room; her storytelling abilities had everyone enraptured and made the conversation topics relata… Read more
At Jewrotica’s Evening of Bedside Readings, students declaimed monologues on sexual encounters that had a Jewish twist. At Columbia/Barnard Hillel, the speakers pushed their own boundaries by performing a range of explicit narratives that challenged how the audience thought of the relationship to Judaism and sex. During the speakers’ preparation, the arguments about which narratives would be appropriate forced students to take a stand and voice their opinion on their own beliefs about Judaism an… Read more
My opinion on Jewrotica is: It’s sexy. It’s awesome. It’s Judaism to the next level. It’s what we should all be getting into!
Jewrotica is awesome. It expands the mind and for people who were raised with narrow views on sexuality. Whether you are Jewish or not, or in different sects of Judaism like Orthodox, Conservative or Reform, no matter what your background or where you’re from, Jewrotica gets you to see Judaism and how it relates to sexuality in new ways. I really appreciate Ayo being here and helping us learn different ways to connect with our sexuality.
Learning about sex and what’s right and wrong when it comes to sex from a Biblical standpoint was an eye opening experience. I completely enjoyed it and think something like this could be a very cool thing to bring to even high school aged Jewish youth groups.
The people behind Jewrotica are quite quality! I have confidence that any project these folks take on will be equally quality.
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