Dear Jewrotica #9 – Halachic Permissibles

Dear Jewrotica

Dear Jewrotica,

What are the halachically permissible ways of touching and having sex? Would it be permitted to touch each others’ sex organs in any way, to have oral, anal sex and so on? Can you give sources for your answers? Would it be permissible to use profanity to increase sexual relations, like saying taboo or incendiary language to arouse our emotions?

My husband wants to start using small sex toys, and I was curious if a lot of frum people use them? Also he would like to start having anal sex and I was wondering the same question do frum couples have this. What positions should we use? We have also bought anal beads. Does anyone here use sex toys in their marriage? We are Orthodox/Yeshivish, and are nervous but excited. Thank you.

– Malka from New York and Shaindy from Maryland

[Editor’s Note: Dear Jewrotica received two similar queries, which were combined and presented as a single topic in this week’s column.]

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Dear Jewrotica is an advice column hosted by the Jewrotica staff. We answer questions about sex, sexual health, relationships, romance and other topics as they relate to the Jewish community, culture and tradition. Confidentiality is respected, and we'll do our best to tackle your questions with knowledge, sensitivity and tact.