DAY 1 — EREV ROSH HASHANAH
“Malka, explain to me how can you have a mystical experience if we don’t even step a foot on the synagogue?”
“I don’t know, this is your plan, not mine. You tell me.”
“I’m telling you we at least have to go to the evening service! Come on, we are almost late!”
“I refuse to watch from a balcony surrounded by loud women with fifteen equally loud children each,” she said.
“We are going to a synagogue without a mechitza.”
“What does that mean?”
“That there will be no balcony, nor loud women and you can sit next to men.”
“Joy,” she says, buttoning her blouse. “How did you manage get that?”
“In New York? Are you kidding me? This is, like, the Mecca of Jewish pluralism!” She explains. “I spoke to my rabbi in Boston and he spoke to a friend that happens to know a liberal rabbi here so now we are invit—”
“You have a rabbi?”
“Yes, Malka, I have a rabbi. Can we focus on that later? Let’s go!”
—
“Admit it, you liked it!”
“I will say no such thing.”
“You are humming Sim Shalom!”
“Well, I can’t help it if the song is catchy.”
“Gotcha!”
“All right! I will admit I didn’t have the dreadful time I was expecting to endure.”
“And…”
“And what?”
“And you enjoyed the prayer and the songs and the lovely family who invited us to dinner even though they had no idea of who we were.”
“Now you’re pushing it, Hannah.” Malka said, laughing lightly. “And what’s the deal with not speaking between the wine and the bread, how does that even makes sense?”
“I love that you’re a newbie,” she said unbuttoning Malka’s shirt and pulling her closely for a kiss.
DAY 2 — Tashlich
Hannah spent the entire walk to Central Park explaining Malka their next activity, but she didn’t seem to understand. Once in front of The Pond she tried to make sense of what the blonde was saying.
“So… the bread is my sin.”
“The crumbs, yes,” she answered, handing Malka a paper bag filled with bread crumbs.
“Why?”
“It’s a metaphor, Malka, go with it.”
“But—”
“Would you rather be punished fiercely for your sins and not be inscribed in The Book of Life?”
“You just made that up.”
“I didn’t. And in any case, are you willing to risk it?” When Malka didn’t answer, Hannah smiled. “Now, repeat the prayer after me and throw your sins.”
“The ducks will eat them,” she said throwing the crumbs to the pond nevertheless.
“Perfect! Now the metaphor is complete!”
“Because the ducks are eating my sins?” She said, raising an eyebrow and watching her ‘sins’ disappear.
“Yes! It’s the circle of life, don’t you get it?”
“So we go from Enrique Iglesias to The Lion King. Who are you?”
“I, my lady,” Hannah said, dropping the brown bag to the ground and placing her arms on Malka’s shoulders. “Am your introduction to Judaism.” She leaned forward and kissed Malka sweetly, her hands reacting immediately and closing around the blonde’s waist.
“Can we not do this here?” Malka said, her breathing already ragged. Despite her words, her mouth sought Hannah’s again. But she had other ideas in mind and Malka felt her lips grazing the hollow of her throat. She went completely still and her eyes fluttered, a soft sigh leaving her lips.
Hannah smiled shyly and licked her lips as her hands cupped Malka’s cheeks. She felt lightheaded and completely forgot what she was about to say as she drowned in Hannah’s green eyes.
“Let’s go before you faint,” Hannah said, leading them out of the park.
Celebrating 10 Years & Marking the End of An Amazing Project
Celebrating 10 Years & Marking the End of An Amazing Project
Bedside Reading with Jewrotica was funny, sexy, and hot all at once. The readings were honest about all kinds of sexuality, but the highlight of the evening was definitely the confessions, written by audience participants. Nobody knew who wrote them, and most were tell-alls that would make your bubbe blush. Unless your bubbe was very, very cool. Then maybe she’d make YOU blush!
You may not tell your mom that you’re going to a live Jewrotica reading (or whatever clever name you will dub these events) but you will tell your friends. However, both would be jealous if they find out that they missed it. I think it will only be a matter of time before Jewrotica helps us reclaim the term “Dirty Jew” the way rap music has done for “The ‘N’ Word.” I know I am now proud to be a Dirty Jew!
I’m into Jewrotica. I went in for my second circumcision.
Jewrotica is a great way to ask interesting questions about the interplay between sensuality and Jewish wisdom. Check it out.
I’m so glad that Jewrotica is represented here at Jewlicious! It’s bringing voices that need to be heard in the Jewish discussion and Jewish climate environment.
My opinion on Jewrotica is: It’s sexy. It’s awesome. It’s Judaism to the next level. It’s what we should all be getting into!
Jewrotica was everything I had dreamed of and more: sexy attendees, tantalizing confessions, and well-written literature to boot! More importantly, it empowers us Jews to reach inside and own our sexy selves and heritage!
The Jewrotica event “Evening of Jewrotica: Bedside Reading” was awesome. As Master of Confessions, I got to read the deepest, darkest secrets of people in the room out loud… It was scintillating, titillating, and – yes – even educational!
I love the inclusiveness – there is something for everyone, in and out of the Jewish community.
The people behind Jewrotica are quite quality! I have confidence that any project these folks take on will be equally quality.
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