Judaism views sexuality as sacred indeed, yet the ecstatic sanctity of sexuality is to be confined to a marital context. The Jewish view of sexuality can be summarized quite succinctly in the Epistle of Holiness, Iggeret Hakodesh, written by Nahmanides in the 13th century:
Unfortunately, because this sex-positive attitude only encompasses married sex, men and women in the Modern Orthodox community are deeply struggling with it. Modern Orthodox Jews socialize with members of the opposite sex and get married in their early or late twenties, postponing sexual interaction long beyond the time that this framework would have initially required. The legal proscription to refrain from touching members of the opposite sex, known as shmirat negiah (and colloquially as shomer negiah or shomer) is a constant struggle for single people as well as those in relationships. It can often lead to confusion and resentment among couples, and when individuals do sometimes choose to stop the practice, they find themselves having to negotiate boundaries in unfamiliar territory.
In the Jewrotica post, In Defense of “Everything But” as a (Modern?) Orthodox Ideal, author Shayna Abramson explains that young Jews in the Modern Orthodox community often leave because of the overwhelming guilt and hypocrisy they feel as they navigate the world of sexuality. She suggests that there is possibly legal space for overturning the law restricting touch between men and women, which
She doesn’t deny the importance of boundaries, but emphasizes that depriving people of human contact doesn’t works so well in this postmodern era, especially for those Jews who must daily navigate the secular world. The truth of this article is demonstrated in an overactive comment section where every perspective is represented with supporting texts and acknowledgements of the problems that underlie male/female relations. The commenters discuss hook-up culture on the Upper West Side, issues facing divorcées, and acknowledge that once a person has “strayed,” it’s very hard to ever go back. (6)
The honesty that Abramson displays around this issue is a recent development. It has only been in the past ten years that women’s groups, anonymous blogs, university Orthodox communities, progressive educational institutions like Yeshivat Hadar and Drisha and advocacy organizations like the Jewish Orthodox Feminist Alliance have given a voice to the struggle of being Orthodox Jews, sexual beings, and committed to halacha (Jewish law). For many Jews who grew up observant, this encounter with their own sexuality is often the first time they experience a dissonance between religion and human desire. Growing up in a religious community can make the everyday observance of laws like the Shabbat (Sabbath) and Kashrut (dietary restrictions) second nature. But the struggle with sexuality can present a slap in the face, and is one that is becoming ever more present and pressing. But within the confines of religious tradition and Godly laws, the way forward is not always clear.
In Michael Warner’s “Tongues Untied: Memories from a Pentecostal Boyhood,” he states that religion is a rapturous form of becoming, one that provides a rich and sensuous life through an attachment to text and enlivened ritual, and a religious lens through which to view the world. The vital, textual, replicable continuity that Warner values and loves will struggle to continue in the face of evolving sexual mores because it means a radical new understanding not just of sexuality, but of the nature of divinity and revelation. (7) Communities that are tied to religious textuality will struggle to find the space for movement if they hold to a narrowly defined understanding of their Holy Books and the words contained therein; if the word of God was articulated once for all time, there can be no new understandings as the surrounding society shifts.
Tamar Ross, in her acclaimed work, Expanding the Palace of Torah, posits an expanded idea – that of cumulativism, or a cumulative revelation. Cumulativism holds that revelation is an ongoing process, whereby the metaphorical “voice” of God is present in the ongoing interpretation of text and the evolution of ideas over time. The new ideas that arise are understood in context of what came before and work in conjunction; they do not supplant previous laws or knowledge. (8) This idea of a continued revelation, of ideas and tradition that and laws that expand with time while still maintaining their authenticity, can serve as the basis of the idea of a modern sexual ethic that still holds religiosity at its core.
Celebrating 10 Years & Marking the End of An Amazing Project
Celebrating 10 Years & Marking the End of An Amazing Project
At Jewrotica’s Evening of Bedside Readings, students declaimed monologues on sexual encounters that had a Jewish twist. At Columbia/Barnard Hillel, the speakers pushed their own boundaries by performing a range of explicit narratives that challenged how the audience thought of the relationship to Judaism and sex. During the speakers’ preparation, the arguments about which narratives would be appropriate forced students to take a stand and voice their opinion on their own beliefs about Judaism an… Read more
The Jewrotica event “Evening of Jewrotica: Bedside Reading” was awesome. As Master of Confessions, I got to read the deepest, darkest secrets of people in the room out loud… It was scintillating, titillating, and – yes – even educational!
The people behind Jewrotica are quite quality! I have confidence that any project these folks take on will be equally quality.
Such an amazing experience! The Sarah Lawrence Jewrotica workshop was more than I could have ever expected – a comfortable, safe, sultry environment where participants clearly felt good about sharing or listening to each other’s intimate experiences and relating them to sexy stories from the Torah. From the moment the workshop began, Ayo had a sweet presence that was kinetic and spread around the room; her storytelling abilities had everyone enraptured and made the conversation topics relata… Read more
Jewrotica is something that the community has needed for a long time so that people can actually learn, express and share and have good relationships without having to stumble through life. Check out the site and learn something. Have fun!
Jewrotica is inspiring Jews and erotica with holiness and coolness, and is the pride of progressive Judaism. Jewrotica – awesome!
You may not tell your mom that you’re going to a live Jewrotica reading (or whatever clever name you will dub these events) but you will tell your friends. However, both would be jealous if they find out that they missed it. I think it will only be a matter of time before Jewrotica helps us reclaim the term “Dirty Jew” the way rap music has done for “The ‘N’ Word.” I know I am now proud to be a Dirty Jew!
I stepped out of my comfort zone to be a part of this. I was glad to open up the topic of sexuality in my community. We are trying to build a safe space to talk about sex. The result I am most happy about coming from this event is that hopefully now my friends know they can come and talk to me, that I can be their ‘safe space’.
Jewrotica was everything I had dreamed of and more: sexy attendees, tantalizing confessions, and well-written literature to boot! More importantly, it empowers us Jews to reach inside and own our sexy selves and heritage!
I had a great time deejaying at the Jewrotica event at Columbia University. The live readings were hilarious, informative, and in some cases, deeply moving. I know that I, along with many of my AEPi fraternity brothers, loved being able to connect our Judaism and our sexuality in a way that made all of us feel comfortable and welcome. I look forward to being a part of this again in the future!
Copyright © 2014 Jewrotica.org. All Rights Reserved.
Built with Love and Mischief.
Designed by Ayo Oppenheimer and
David Abitbol
Pingback: Pornography: “I Know it When I See it” | Jewrotica
Pingback: Online Erotica & The Space to Move Forward: A Modern Jewish Sexual Ethic – Jewrotica
Pingback: Pornography: “I Know it When I See it” – Jewrotica