To celebrate President Obama’s victory, a victory dance was held at the Chillmark camp recreation hall (as I refer to the place), to which I wore my tuxedo with the adjustable waistband. I danced away the night with many women as I thought about how Anita and I had loved to dance. Dancing, that is, to the type of music where you actually hold your partner. The next day a friend told me that she had already received three calls about my dancing with everyone.
While some of us today had great marriages, others may not have had a positive physical and emotional relationship with a former spouse. Now in my second manhood, and despite all of today’s sexual openness, the women I know may be as unsure as I about what we want to do with our evolving relationships. To be more specific, I wonder if the women I know presently have the same doubts, concerns, or thoughts about their sexualities as we men, in particular, as related to today’s changed sexual mores. Of course, there are also those who have given up on a sexual life or are repressing those feelings.
It seems to me that sensuality and sexuality are present in many of us who have reached 80-plus years and remain active and in good health. Because of our country’s love of youth and youthful sexuality and sex, we older folks have to psych ourselves to think, “Hey, I am very much alive and feel good about having these feelings. I even have a hell of a lot more experience to pull this off.”
All around me though, thoughts of sexuality and sex appear to be looked on askance or with laughter by those my age. I sometimes feel like I am spitting into the wind. I am also trying to figure out how we chronological octogenarian seniors can juxtapose our WWII sexual mores with today’s sexual mores and be able to have healthy, non-promiscuous and mutually enjoyable sexual relationships that include feelings and friendship.
Harry Chapin sang about an earlier sexual revolution in “Halfway to Heaven”:
“You see someone played a trick on me.
They set me up so perfectly
They gave me their morality
And then changed the rules they set for me.
…
How the world’s accepting now
What they once would not allow
Back in my younger days
The world has changed in so many ways
…
God Damn, I’m one horny mixed up mixture of a man.”
A while ago, a younger married woman asked me whether I had a girl friend. Before I answered, a codicil was added to the question: I was told that having a girlfriend required having sex with her. If we were not having sex, she was just a friend.
A while later, a second question from another close woman friend drew a laugh from me. The question was worded diplomatically, but to the point. This time, my married woman friend mentioned the woman I was dating by name, and asked whether I was getting any “benefits.” Subsequently, I learned that the colloquialism “a friend with benefits” or simply “FWB” means friends who, upon occasion, without any commitment or strings attached, have sex. The movie, “No Strings Attached,” is an example of FWB, and a there is also a movie actually titled: “Friends with Benefits.” There are also the terms hooking up and booty call – quick shtups supposedly with neither feeling nor emotion.
Of course, a good man does not kiss and tell. Therefore, I did not answer the question per se. I was emphatic, though, that any so-called “benefits” should be mutually fulfilling, valued, shared and enjoyed during and afterward. Well, after I became a man in 1941, we men talked about wishing we were young again and knowing what we knew then. Hence, my man’s still-functioning but older and experienced brain is still trying to comprehend what women, sex and friendship are all about. Despite all those words, as a WWII-era former Brooklyn boy, happily married for 54 years, no matter my sexual fantasies, I find I am programmed to be monogamous.
Celebrating 10 Years & Marking the End of An Amazing Project
Celebrating 10 Years & Marking the End of An Amazing Project
Jewrotica is something that the community has needed for a long time so that people can actually learn, express and share and have good relationships without having to stumble through life. Check out the site and learn something. Have fun!
Learning about sex and what’s right and wrong when it comes to sex from a Biblical standpoint was an eye opening experience. I completely enjoyed it and think something like this could be a very cool thing to bring to even high school aged Jewish youth groups.
Jewrotica rocks. It’s funny, it’s informative, it’s sexy, it’s interesting. Check it out!
Bedside Reading with Jewrotica was funny, sexy, and hot all at once. The readings were honest about all kinds of sexuality, but the highlight of the evening was definitely the confessions, written by audience participants. Nobody knew who wrote them, and most were tell-alls that would make your bubbe blush. Unless your bubbe was very, very cool. Then maybe she’d make YOU blush!
Jewrotica is awesome. It expands the mind and for people who were raised with narrow views on sexuality. Whether you are Jewish or not, or in different sects of Judaism like Orthodox, Conservative or Reform, no matter what your background or where you’re from, Jewrotica gets you to see Judaism and how it relates to sexuality in new ways. I really appreciate Ayo being here and helping us learn different ways to connect with our sexuality.
I’m so glad that Jewrotica is represented here at Jewlicious! It’s bringing voices that need to be heard in the Jewish discussion and Jewish climate environment.
My opinion on Jewrotica is: It’s sexy. It’s awesome. It’s Judaism to the next level. It’s what we should all be getting into!
The people behind Jewrotica are quite quality! I have confidence that any project these folks take on will be equally quality.
I’m into Jewrotica. I went in for my second circumcision.
I’m Heshy Fried from Frum Satire and I am very, very frum. And I completely support Jewrotica – it’s doing a service to the frum community. We need some sort of kosher sexual education. Jewrotica even has a system that allows frum filters to filter out certain things to make it PG for us. It’s mamish Torah. It’s like The Little Midrash Says for sex.
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