The next morning, as sunlight stuttered through the curtains of my dorm room, I surfaced from an empty heavy dream. I thought of Sami carefully, waiting to see if thoughts of him would bring pain, or the soft ache of a bruise, but they did not. And then, getting out of bed and moving through the day I found myself stacking all of the Jewish parts of my life up around me in a way that left no space for him.
It felt a little bit like cheating, telling myself I couldn’t be with him because I was too invested in the Talmud, and the Bible, and the rabbis and rebbetzins who taught my classes, but it was the only reason I could think of most of the time. Had I been using him without really knowing it? I didn’t think so, but the trembling sweetness in my stomach didn’t come back again. When the window on my cell phone announced that Sami was calling, I didn’t feel excited or nervous the way I had when he’d called before. Instead I caught myself forcing an enthusiasm that wouldn’t come, like when I’d gotten acceptance letters from colleges I didn’t really want to go to anyway.
After a few days Sami stopped calling.
That weekend Uncle David took me out to dinner with his girlfriend, a blonde Russian woman named Natasha. We went to a steakhouse and were served big pink slabs of beef that seemed to grow and pulse in the dim restaurant light. I ate slowly, and allowed a few sips of red wine to soften the edges of my thoughts. Afterwards we walked together back to the center of town and Uncle David and his girlfriend spoke to each other in rapid low Hebrew.
As we reached the bottom of Shamai Street Natasha laughed softly and my uncle smiled, pulling her against his side. “What am I going to do with you?” he said. A cab was stopped on the street in front of us, and I tried to look inside, catching a glimpse of an unfamiliar face before the traffic light turned green and the car accelerated away.
Celebrating 10 Years & Marking the End of An Amazing Project
Celebrating 10 Years & Marking the End of An Amazing Project
You may not tell your mom that you’re going to a live Jewrotica reading (or whatever clever name you will dub these events) but you will tell your friends. However, both would be jealous if they find out that they missed it. I think it will only be a matter of time before Jewrotica helps us reclaim the term “Dirty Jew” the way rap music has done for “The ‘N’ Word.” I know I am now proud to be a Dirty Jew!
I’m so glad that Jewrotica is represented here at Jewlicious! It’s bringing voices that need to be heard in the Jewish discussion and Jewish climate environment.
Jewrotica is a great way to ask interesting questions about the interplay between sensuality and Jewish wisdom. Check it out.
At Jewrotica’s Evening of Bedside Readings, students declaimed monologues on sexual encounters that had a Jewish twist. At Columbia/Barnard Hillel, the speakers pushed their own boundaries by performing a range of explicit narratives that challenged how the audience thought of the relationship to Judaism and sex. During the speakers’ preparation, the arguments about which narratives would be appropriate forced students to take a stand and voice their opinion on their own beliefs about Judaism an… Read more
What an incredible night Jewrotica was!!!! There was this fantastic moment, in a sea of Jews of all sexualities, ages, backgrounds and denominations, that I realized we were all in this together! I hope that there are many more events coming to Austin soon!
Learning about sex and what’s right and wrong when it comes to sex from a Biblical standpoint was an eye opening experience. I completely enjoyed it and think something like this could be a very cool thing to bring to even high school aged Jewish youth groups.
Bedside Reading with Jewrotica was funny, sexy, and hot all at once. The readings were honest about all kinds of sexuality, but the highlight of the evening was definitely the confessions, written by audience participants. Nobody knew who wrote them, and most were tell-alls that would make your bubbe blush. Unless your bubbe was very, very cool. Then maybe she’d make YOU blush!
While many people fear the “sex talk,” Jewrotica offers an opportunity for writers and audiences to speak about sexuality in a open and safe space. When I attended a Jewrotica reading, I heard stories that reminded me that love takes many forms, and that expressing it is a vital part of who we are as a people.
I love the inclusiveness – there is something for everyone, in and out of the Jewish community.
Jewrotica was everything I had dreamed of and more: sexy attendees, tantalizing confessions, and well-written literature to boot! More importantly, it empowers us Jews to reach inside and own our sexy selves and heritage!
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