On the last Tuesday night in March I met Sami at midnight outside the Jaffa Gate to the Old City. It was colder than usual that day, and after sunset the temperature had plummeted so that I could see my breath while I waited for him, sitting on a bench facing out over the Sultan’s Pool. For all the talk about the beauty of Jerusalem I secretly thought it was hideous: dirty, full of pushy people stacked on top of each other, grungy sheets flapping on clotheslines, mismatched crumbling architecture. It was true that life felt more potent in Jerusalem, that the city had a palpable intensity to it, but looking out over the swerving highway, construction, and flickering streetlights, I missed the rigid grid of Chicago, the brick houses on the flat horizon, and the clear, even way the world revealed itself in the Midwest.
Sami sat down heavily next to me, smelling like soap and wearing a long-sleeved white collared shirt under an unzipped grey jacket. He looked good, and when I turned to kiss his cheek he ran his hand through my hair. There was so much tenderness in the gesture–it had none of his usual reserve or anxiety–that I smiled back awkwardly, wondering what had changed.
“Want to walk around a little?” he asked, already standing up.
“Sure,” I said, following him up the pathway that went north, along the walls.
“Did your brother like the present?”
The week before I’d told Sami about the book I’d sent to Ari for his birthday. He’d asked for a Medieval commentary on the Torah, and I’d found one in a religious bookstore downtown, but when I shipped it I took the cover off my copy of He’s Just Not That Into You and put it on his commentary so that he’d be confused and annoyed when he first opened the package. He had called the day it arrived to tell me how funny it had been when he’d opened the box in front of his roommates. They had all been mortified on his behalf. Sami was intrigued by the fact that there was such a thing as a book called He’s Just Not That Into You and had asked me to explain to him what it was about.
“Yeah, he thought it was funny.”
We walked along without talking for a while. It was a comfortable silence, or at least it felt comfortable to me.
“Did you tell your brother about me?” Sami asked and then reached behind me, circling his arm around my waist so I was tucked up against his side, both of us still walking.
I laughed to myself. “No. I don’t think he’d approve.”
“I told my brother.”
“Which one?”
“Youssef. Who wants to be an architect.”
“What did he say?”
“He wants to meet you.”
I stopped walking.
“Why?”
Sami shrugged. “He wants to see what you’re like.”
“I don’t think I should meet him,” I said, and rubbed one of my eyes, trying not to look at Sami’s face.
“Just for a minute,” he said, his voice urgent and his hand on my shoulder again.
“Wait- you mean now?”
“Yes.”
“In the middle of the night?” I heard my voice rise, the panic obvious and embarrassing.
Sami frowned and stopped touching me. “Why, are you scared?”
I looked away from him and focused on the wall behind him, massive blocks of stone stacked to keep things separated. A breeze came and blew around and between the two of us standing there, and I felt the cold through my jacket.
“Just for a minute,” I said, and turned back in the direction we had been walking.
We went the rest of the way without talking, a few inches between us and my mind slowly filling up with fear.
Celebrating 10 Years & Marking the End of An Amazing Project
Celebrating 10 Years & Marking the End of An Amazing Project
Jewrotica is awesome. It expands the mind and for people who were raised with narrow views on sexuality. Whether you are Jewish or not, or in different sects of Judaism like Orthodox, Conservative or Reform, no matter what your background or where you’re from, Jewrotica gets you to see Judaism and how it relates to sexuality in new ways. I really appreciate Ayo being here and helping us learn different ways to connect with our sexuality.
I’m so glad that Jewrotica is represented here at Jewlicious! It’s bringing voices that need to be heard in the Jewish discussion and Jewish climate environment.
Jewrotica rocks. It’s funny, it’s informative, it’s sexy, it’s interesting. Check it out!
I’m into Jewrotica. I went in for my second circumcision.
I stepped out of my comfort zone to be a part of this. I was glad to open up the topic of sexuality in my community. We are trying to build a safe space to talk about sex. The result I am most happy about coming from this event is that hopefully now my friends know they can come and talk to me, that I can be their ‘safe space’.
I’m Heshy Fried from Frum Satire and I am very, very frum. And I completely support Jewrotica – it’s doing a service to the frum community. We need some sort of kosher sexual education. Jewrotica even has a system that allows frum filters to filter out certain things to make it PG for us. It’s mamish Torah. It’s like The Little Midrash Says for sex.
Jewrotica was everything I had dreamed of and more: sexy attendees, tantalizing confessions, and well-written literature to boot! More importantly, it empowers us Jews to reach inside and own our sexy selves and heritage!
The Jewrotica event “Evening of Jewrotica: Bedside Reading” was awesome. As Master of Confessions, I got to read the deepest, darkest secrets of people in the room out loud… It was scintillating, titillating, and – yes – even educational!
Such an amazing experience! The Sarah Lawrence Jewrotica workshop was more than I could have ever expected – a comfortable, safe, sultry environment where participants clearly felt good about sharing or listening to each other’s intimate experiences and relating them to sexy stories from the Torah. From the moment the workshop began, Ayo had a sweet presence that was kinetic and spread around the room; her storytelling abilities had everyone enraptured and made the conversation topics relata… Read more
While many people fear the “sex talk,” Jewrotica offers an opportunity for writers and audiences to speak about sexuality in a open and safe space. When I attended a Jewrotica reading, I heard stories that reminded me that love takes many forms, and that expressing it is a vital part of who we are as a people.
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