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Why Jewish Kids Need Values-Based Sex Ed

By on October 20, 2012
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The whole incident was a reminder that sex education is crucially important for everyone, from low-income communities with high rates of teen pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections (STIs), to our relatively privileged and sheltered Jewish community.

Contrary to stereotype, Jewish teens do become pregnant in high school. They are susceptible to contracting STIs. They are sexually abused.

Statistics, however, are difficult to come by as many cases are “hushed up” or “taken care of” while a student is studying in Israel or abroad. I’ve heard countless stories in workshops from girls who ended up in abusive relationships in Israel because they were under the naïve misconception that “Jewish men are safe”.

In my experience, most Jewish day school students have not received any authentic sexuality education. They might have had a cursory class on puberty or the prevention of STIs — if they were lucky. But this desultory non-approach to sexuality education does not work. A survey commissioned by the Metropolitan Life Foundation* involving more than 45,000 students in 2,000 schools found no obvious difference between the behaviors of students with no health education and those who had received it for one year. Only after three years of continuous health programs and information did such education influence behavior patterns.

Young people today are bombarded with messages about sexuality: retail stores have background music playing with overtly sexual lyrics, pop-up advertisements with suggestive images commonly appear on our websites, and reality TV portrays high-risk sexual behavior and unhealthy relationships.

Are we in the Jewish community giving our adolescents enough information and time to talk about the changes they are experiencing? As our children grow and attend camp, overnight youth group events or study abroad programs, where the social environments often lead to intense bonding and romantic exploration, have we prepared them with the information they need to protect themselves from sexual assault, date rape or unintended pregnancy? Have we made it clear that we are created in God’s image and that our bodies are a gift we must honor?

While parents are and should be the primary educators who provide their children with information and values about sexuality, they often don’t know how to begin such conversations, or assume that discussing sexuality is a one-time conversation about reproduction.

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Mara Yacobi is a Certified Sexuality Educator, Licensed Social Worker and Founder of JLove and Values. Mara lives in New Jersey with her family and dreams of becoming a talk show host and finding more hours in the day.
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