Written by C. Sender. C is a first-time Jewrotica writer.
I don’t want to marry a Jewish boy.
I am your proverbial nice Jewish girl—good family, good college, good grad school, good job—and I am single, and twenty-four, and I have no desire to find someone with whom I can compare notes on the number of great-uncles present at my Bat Mitzvah.
Don’t misunderstand: my religion is hugely important to me. In my struggle to understand my self-identity, Jewishness and femaleness continually battle it out for primacy. That’s a particular type of being Jewish, of course, as it is a particular type of being female. I am Reform, and I am a woman who strives not to need a man but hopes to be open to one.
In a certain way, being Reform complicates the problem. To me, a child of mine is Jewish only if I raise him that way. To me, my lineage is not enough to secure her Jewish identity. My Orthodox female friends may experience more familial pressure to marry that handsome boy from synagogue, but the view from here is that their system lets them off the hook. Where Judaism is concerned, their kids won’t have the choice.
So why don’t I long for the moment when my boyfriend can don a kippah that matches my bridesmaids’ dresses, and smash a glass while his mother shouts l’chaim? I think it has something to do with my understanding of love. To me, love enlarges and challenges. It makes me travel to different countries and learn different languages and meet different people—his home, his tongue, his family.
Celebrating 10 Years & Marking the End of An Amazing Project
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Jewrotica is a great way to ask interesting questions about the interplay between sensuality and Jewish wisdom. Check it out.
The people behind Jewrotica are quite quality! I have confidence that any project these folks take on will be equally quality.
You may not tell your mom that you’re going to a live Jewrotica reading (or whatever clever name you will dub these events) but you will tell your friends. However, both would be jealous if they find out that they missed it. I think it will only be a matter of time before Jewrotica helps us reclaim the term “Dirty Jew” the way rap music has done for “The ‘N’ Word.” I know I am now proud to be a Dirty Jew!
I’m so glad that Jewrotica is represented here at Jewlicious! It’s bringing voices that need to be heard in the Jewish discussion and Jewish climate environment.
I stepped out of my comfort zone to be a part of this. I was glad to open up the topic of sexuality in my community. We are trying to build a safe space to talk about sex. The result I am most happy about coming from this event is that hopefully now my friends know they can come and talk to me, that I can be their ‘safe space’.
What an incredible night Jewrotica was!!!! There was this fantastic moment, in a sea of Jews of all sexualities, ages, backgrounds and denominations, that I realized we were all in this together! I hope that there are many more events coming to Austin soon!
Jewrotica is awesome. It expands the mind and for people who were raised with narrow views on sexuality. Whether you are Jewish or not, or in different sects of Judaism like Orthodox, Conservative or Reform, no matter what your background or where you’re from, Jewrotica gets you to see Judaism and how it relates to sexuality in new ways. I really appreciate Ayo being here and helping us learn different ways to connect with our sexuality.
Jewrotica is something that the community has needed for a long time so that people can actually learn, express and share and have good relationships without having to stumble through life. Check out the site and learn something. Have fun!
The Jewrotica event “Evening of Jewrotica: Bedside Reading” was awesome. As Master of Confessions, I got to read the deepest, darkest secrets of people in the room out loud… It was scintillating, titillating, and – yes – even educational!
I attended and participated in last month’s Jewrotica event. The engaging performers and Ayo, our inviting host, inspired the audience to feel like one big community. What a great way to inspire our community to embrace sex as a beautiful thing that can be fun, exciting, sacred, sensual, ridiculous, scary and everything in between!
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