We visited her commune with the express intention of sex-friend-poaching, but unfortunately, no one struck our fancy. (Another complication of relationship threesomes: you need to have marginally similar tastes.) This, at least, spared us the horror of having to concoct some line about “exploring new horizons together.” (It was our first time; we couldn’t help but couch our shameful desires in blurry euphemism.)
We continued to probe, tentatively, at the outskirts of the hippie community, and got bolder when we noticed some beautiful girl on the street, even going so far as to smile. (If nothing else, trolling for a threesome made me less socially awkward, an unintended benefit.) Yet I was beginning to notice an unflattering trend: every time my boyfriend scoped a potential girl, I would immediately become jealous. I would worry that she was hotter, more experienced, better in bed. This insecurity immediately extinguished any spark of desire for her.
In order to make this worth it, I would need to be extremely attracted to whatever girl we chose, hoping that fervent attraction would counteract the initial jealousy of realizing, jarringly, that I am not the end-all, be-all of female beauty. But jealousy and fear kill attraction outright. I was rejecting girls who were ostensibly “my type” because I was afraid of feeling superfluous in my own bedroom.
Like Dar Williams, I “will not be afraid of women.” But I was negotiating my boundaries, my sexual comfort level, with the reckless abandonment that only comes when you’ve got something to prove. In trying to turn a threesome into some kind of point about feminist empowerment–of unabashed post-Orthodox hedonism–I was succeeding only in wringing out its inherent sexiness, reducing it to an awkward intellectual exercise. And to divorce sex from desire or emotion is to divorce it from any sort of pleasure.
Celebrating 10 Years & Marking the End of An Amazing Project
Celebrating 10 Years & Marking the End of An Amazing Project
I love the inclusiveness – there is something for everyone, in and out of the Jewish community.
You may not tell your mom that you’re going to a live Jewrotica reading (or whatever clever name you will dub these events) but you will tell your friends. However, both would be jealous if they find out that they missed it. I think it will only be a matter of time before Jewrotica helps us reclaim the term “Dirty Jew” the way rap music has done for “The ‘N’ Word.” I know I am now proud to be a Dirty Jew!
I’m Heshy Fried from Frum Satire and I am very, very frum. And I completely support Jewrotica – it’s doing a service to the frum community. We need some sort of kosher sexual education. Jewrotica even has a system that allows frum filters to filter out certain things to make it PG for us. It’s mamish Torah. It’s like The Little Midrash Says for sex.
The Jewrotica event “Evening of Jewrotica: Bedside Reading” was awesome. As Master of Confessions, I got to read the deepest, darkest secrets of people in the room out loud… It was scintillating, titillating, and – yes – even educational!
Such an amazing experience! The Sarah Lawrence Jewrotica workshop was more than I could have ever expected – a comfortable, safe, sultry environment where participants clearly felt good about sharing or listening to each other’s intimate experiences and relating them to sexy stories from the Torah. From the moment the workshop began, Ayo had a sweet presence that was kinetic and spread around the room; her storytelling abilities had everyone enraptured and made the conversation topics relata… Read more
Jewrotica is awesome. It expands the mind and for people who were raised with narrow views on sexuality. Whether you are Jewish or not, or in different sects of Judaism like Orthodox, Conservative or Reform, no matter what your background or where you’re from, Jewrotica gets you to see Judaism and how it relates to sexuality in new ways. I really appreciate Ayo being here and helping us learn different ways to connect with our sexuality.
At Jewrotica’s Evening of Bedside Readings, students declaimed monologues on sexual encounters that had a Jewish twist. At Columbia/Barnard Hillel, the speakers pushed their own boundaries by performing a range of explicit narratives that challenged how the audience thought of the relationship to Judaism and sex. During the speakers’ preparation, the arguments about which narratives would be appropriate forced students to take a stand and voice their opinion on their own beliefs about Judaism an… Read more
Jewrotica is a great way to ask interesting questions about the interplay between sensuality and Jewish wisdom. Check it out.
I’m into Jewrotica. I went in for my second circumcision.
Learning about sex and what’s right and wrong when it comes to sex from a Biblical standpoint was an eye opening experience. I completely enjoyed it and think something like this could be a very cool thing to bring to even high school aged Jewish youth groups.
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