Astray

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Astray 2

She knew he loved her hair. He couldn’t stop touching and caressing it whenever they were alone. A compensation because of his wife’s sheitl, perhaps. It didn’t matter as long as she could make him happy in the short moments they were together.

He taught her to love religion purely. She learned the prayers. He showed her how to wear a prayer shawl and how to put on tefillin, and that way, on her twentieth birthday, she had a private bat mitzvah. No guests, no family, and of course, no minyan; just the two of them surrendering completely to God.

One day she heard her parents talking. Her father was worried about her. She was almost on the verge of spinsterhood, but showed no interest in any of the nice Jewish boys he found for her. They were to have a serious conversation with the rabbi so he could help with the situation. No daughter of the shochet was going to be a spinster.

So the rabbi was again forced to do his job against his will. He searched halfheartedly at first, but when the shochet demanded results, he started to search more vehemently and found a few acceptable candidates. Little did the shochet know that his daughter’s dates ended with the rabbi, long hours after the poor kid left disappointedly for home.

Three more months passed when she finally met her future husband, the fifth of seven children. The boy was not the brightest apple on the tree, but he was exactly what she needed: someone who loved her unconditionally and would not question her. Someone safe.


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Dirty Di has the stuff that you want; she is the thing that you need. So if you're feeling devious, and looking glamorous, let’s get mischievous and polyamorous, because you live only once, so be sure you got it right. And if you don't, try again.