Dear Jewrotica #10 – Tu B’Shvat and Sex

Naomi Dovdavany

Dear Reader,

Your Hebrew school teacher was most likely referring to the mystical component of Tu B’shvat started by the Kabbalists (mystics) of Tzfat (the city of Safed) in the Land of Israel in the 16th century who created a new ritual to celebrate Tu B’shvat called the Feast of Fruits. The customs and traditions of the Feast of Fruits are rooted (pardon the pun) in the Passover seder. Participants read selections from the Bible and Rabbinic literature, and eat fruits and nuts traditionally associated with the land of Israel.

The modern day Tu B’shvat seder has taken on many current meanings relevant to today’s cultural concerns including ecology, gender equality, sustainability and zionism to name a few, but in Jewish mystical thought part of the Tu B’shvat seder symbolizes an opportune time for rectifying the transgression of Adam and Eve and atonement for (male) sexual impropriety by blessing, eating and meditating on the symbolism of fruit.

The symbol of the tree is of such central importance in Kabbalistic practice and therefore Tu B’shvat takes on a significance that goes far beyond a simple celebration of nature. The subject of divine potency and fertility and the repair of cosmic transgression are just some of the Kabbalistic symbols attributed to the holiday. Tu B’shvat essentially became viewed as part of a season when atonement could be made for male sexual impropriety and eating the fruits during the seder represented connecting and appreciating physical pleasure from G-d, and not independent from G-d as Adam and Eve did in the Garden of Eden by eating from the Tree of Knowledge. Kabbalism believes that this re-balancing ultimately results in perfecting one’s spiritual being, thus drawing them closer to G-d, and in nature’s receiving the vitality required in order to bring forth its bounty.

As with most questions having Kabbalistic/mystical explanations it is impossible to explain in just a few sentences and is often challenging to understand even after years of study, for as you learn, more and more intriguing details are revealed. I hope this answer provided a taste of the Kabbalistic symbolism behind Tu B’shvat and the Feast of Fruits.

Leora Flax

Unfortunately, it seems like your Hebrew school teacher was way more fun than mine…I’d never heard this before! From what I understand though, some Jews (specifically those who practice Kabbalah) relate the trunk of a tree to the figure of a man–making this holiday a celebration of a new year of being fruitful and multiplying, if you will.

Anonymous:  I love the dialogue going on here! I would also like to add in this twist: Do we need consent before hugging a tree? Yes, the tree does not have legs, only roots, and it cannot run away.

Every living creation requires permission before touching: from human beings, to trees, to someone’s pet. In sexual relationships, consent strengthens the connection between partners and allows honest and open communication to blossom and flourish. This communication between partners is important if the relationship is for a one-night stand, a partner in a polyamorous relationship or a monogamous married couple. The communication not only allows for the physical touch to be heightened as we clearly listen to what pleasures please the other person, it also allows us to honor the divine spark of B’tzelem Elohim, or created in the divine image, that each person and living thing holds. By asking permission and seeking consent, we do not objectify living things, instead we see the whole and not an object.

As we strengthen our awareness and boundaries around touch we welcome into our lives strength. The kabbalistic “tree of life” has the fifth branch and world of Gevurah, whereby restraint yields us the gift of strength and courage. Try it the next time you are at a beach and wish to take home a shell, or the next time you are on a hike and want to take home a cool rock you found, ask, “Can I take you home with me?” Listen, you will hear a clear yes or no.

As you begin to honor others’ boundaries, you in-turn honor yours more. You will begin to notice how you say no to invitations you do not want to accept, such as parties, lunch dates, work responsibilities and sexual encounters. You will notice how resentment around doing what you do not want melts away. You will also notice how rejection melts away. Hearing a no from others has less of a sting or charge. It is not personal. Rather, it is just where their needs and wants reside in the moment. You will also notice a surge of passion in your sexual life. You will notice the giving and receiving of pleasure increase as you create sacred space for yes and no.