Written by Sender Rozesz. Sender Rozesz is a practicing attorney with a background in Jewish pluralistic education for adults. The views reflected in his columns represent his own personal views, and are not intended to reflect the views of any organizations, institutes or associations with whom he may be affiliated. For more Double Mitzvahs by Sender Rozesz, check out A Woman’s Vow, Sexual Motive, Choose Your Own Spouse, The Post-Honeymoon Journey, A Wise and Understanding People, The Blessing of Fertility, Abominations, Coitus Interruptus, Sexual Struggles,The Unspeakable Language of Passion, Cut vs. Uncut, The Silence of Bitterness, Sex and the Holiest Day of the Year, Shifting Beds and Sex in the Sukkah,Sex…In the Beginning, A Sexual Reboot, and She’s My Beautiful Sister.
While Abraham was busy tempting fate by putting Sarah in the eye of various kings, from Pharaoh to Abimelech, his nephew Lot was having his own sexual issues.
Despite Lot’s familial ties to Abraham, Lot is a man of odd moral standards. He initially impresses us by leaving his grandfather Terach and following Abraham on his journey to a land promised to Abraham. Why? Perhaps because he admires Abraham’s steadfastness in his faith, and his sense of morality. Or perhaps because, as tradition tells us, Sarah was Lot’s sister, and he may have wanted to remain with his sibling.
Later however, Lot disappoints us. In parting from Abraham in Parshat Lech L’Cha, Lot chooses to live in the city of Sodom, a city which was already then famous as a den of iniquity and immorality. There, apparently, Lot retains some vestige of the family ethics, and is elected to be the city’s judge as a result. So he has some strength of character; but perhaps he felt that it is easier to be righteous when everybody around you is wicked – then the bar is set quite lower. Lot’s moral sense would be particularly tested, however, when he is visited by two angels in Parshat Vayeira – and his ethical priorities would reflect poorly on his role as a father to his two single daughters.
Lot’s innate sense of hospitality compels him to invite the two men into his home for the night, well knowing, however, how hostile Sodom is to visitors, and those that harbor them. Sure enough:
When they had not yet retired, and the people of the city, the people of Sodom, surrounded the house, both young and old, the entire populace from every end. And they called to Lot and said to him, “Where are the men who came to you tonight? Bring them out to us, and let us be intimate with them.” And Lot came out to them to the entrance, and he shut the door behind him. And he said, “My brethren, please do not do evil. Behold now I have two daughters who were not intimate with a man. I will bring them out to you, and do to them as you see fit; only to these men do nothing, because they have come under the shadow of my roof.” Genesis, 19:4-8.
Say that again? “Do no evil” – so take my daughters instead? FAIL.
Lot loses major points over his callous willingness to sacrifice his daughters’ virginity and well-being for the sake of his hospitality towards his two male visitors. Ramban makes short thrift of Lot’s twisted sense of morality, noting that (as cited in Midrash Tanchuma), a normal person typically kills or is killed in protecting his wife and daughters – and here, Lot freely offers them out of a misguided sense of hospitality. Ramban also notes that Lot obviously had an extreme case of female-objectification. He must have seen females as natural sex objects, which is why it did not occur to him that there was anything particularly terrible in offering his daughters for a gang-rape. This view of his own daughters, the Ramban concludes, is what permitted what came next, in karma-like fashion.
The very next morning, Sodom and Gomorrah are laid to waste, Lot’s wife is transformed into an inanimate pillar of salt, and Lot and his two daughters escape into the mountains, where they find a cave. The two girls looked out from their mountain perch, and, as far as the eye can see, they saw pillars of smoke, destruction and devastation. They apparently had not heard the midnight discussion between their father and the angels, and so they were unaware that it was just Sodom and Gomorrah that were destroyed. From their vantage point, therefore, it looked as though the whole world had been scorched, and they, its only survivors.
Perhaps they recalled stories of the Great Flood, and how only a single family was spared from that worldwide calamity. Perhaps this even raised their estimation of their father in their eyes; after all, isn’t only the most righteous who G-d decides to spare? It stands to reason that they had not heard Lot’s disturbing offer to the townsfolk the night before, and so they likely were unaware of Lot’s deep moral flaws; or if they had heard Lot offering to sacrifice their virginity, perhaps they simply accepted it as a feature of the environment in which they had been raised? We don’t know.
What we do know is that the two girls were troubled by what appeared to them to be the end of the human race. At least Noah had his wife, and his sons, their wives. The daughters were determined to not allow this to happen. Thus, in low voices, the two girls conspired to get their father drunk that night. Then, the eldest daughter laid with her father, and coaxed him to sexual intercourse. The following night, it was the younger daughter’s turn. Once again, they manipulated Lot into become intoxicated, and then the younger daughter lost her virginity to her father.
Their plan bore fruit – literally. Both daughters became pregnant on the first try (we don’t know if there were others). “And the elder bore a son, and she named him Moab; he is the father of Moab until this day. And the younger, she too bore a son, and she named him Ben-ami; he is the father of the children of Ammon until this day.” Genesis, 19:36-38.
We don’t know whether Lot and his daughters were still in the cave when the two little boys were born nine months later. In fact, we don’t hear from Lot and his daughters again; they simply fade into oblivion. We do know that the two ill-begotten sons are highly significant, however. So significant, in fact, that hundreds of years later, the Israelites were prohibited from waging war with either the nation of Moab or Ammon as they entered the Promised Land. And one of the most famous women of the Tanach – Ruth, the first formal convert, and the great-grandmother of King David – was a descendant of Moab, and Rehobam, the son of King Solomon, was a descendant of Ammon.
Celebrating 10 Years & Marking the End of An Amazing Project
Celebrating 10 Years & Marking the End of An Amazing Project
I love the inclusiveness – there is something for everyone, in and out of the Jewish community.
My opinion on Jewrotica is: It’s sexy. It’s awesome. It’s Judaism to the next level. It’s what we should all be getting into!
Jewrotica is inspiring Jews and erotica with holiness and coolness, and is the pride of progressive Judaism. Jewrotica – awesome!
The Jewrotica event “Evening of Jewrotica: Bedside Reading” was awesome. As Master of Confessions, I got to read the deepest, darkest secrets of people in the room out loud… It was scintillating, titillating, and – yes – even educational!
I stepped out of my comfort zone to be a part of this. I was glad to open up the topic of sexuality in my community. We are trying to build a safe space to talk about sex. The result I am most happy about coming from this event is that hopefully now my friends know they can come and talk to me, that I can be their ‘safe space’.
Jewrotica is something that the community has needed for a long time so that people can actually learn, express and share and have good relationships without having to stumble through life. Check out the site and learn something. Have fun!
You may not tell your mom that you’re going to a live Jewrotica reading (or whatever clever name you will dub these events) but you will tell your friends. However, both would be jealous if they find out that they missed it. I think it will only be a matter of time before Jewrotica helps us reclaim the term “Dirty Jew” the way rap music has done for “The ‘N’ Word.” I know I am now proud to be a Dirty Jew!
Jewrotica was everything I had dreamed of and more: sexy attendees, tantalizing confessions, and well-written literature to boot! More importantly, it empowers us Jews to reach inside and own our sexy selves and heritage!
I had a great time deejaying at the Jewrotica event at Columbia University. The live readings were hilarious, informative, and in some cases, deeply moving. I know that I, along with many of my AEPi fraternity brothers, loved being able to connect our Judaism and our sexuality in a way that made all of us feel comfortable and welcome. I look forward to being a part of this again in the future!
While many people fear the “sex talk,” Jewrotica offers an opportunity for writers and audiences to speak about sexuality in a open and safe space. When I attended a Jewrotica reading, I heard stories that reminded me that love takes many forms, and that expressing it is a vital part of who we are as a people.
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