Dear Jewrotica #7 – Beyond the Bris

I feel very strongly about brit milah therefore alternative options are simply not acceptable in my book. My reasons:

1) We are the people of the book and this is our tradition. This is our covenant not only to each other but to g-d. We have practiced this tradition for thousands of years. It’s something to be proud of and not to shy away from. It’s culturally and historically significant to our existence.

2) I value the health of our future husbands. For the purpose of providing a less obscure source, I chose CNN’s repost of an article from parenting.com. There is “…emerging evidence that found links between circumcision and decreased risk of urinary tract infections, some kinds of cancer, HPV, HIV, and other sexually transmitted diseases.” That is just one example of many that explain how circumcision is not a brutal and inhumane act. In fact, it can help prevent possible future health problems.

3) The penis is just not pretty when not circumcised. If it were, then porn stars would leave the skin be. Do something good for your kids and at least set them up for an enjoyable sex life later on. Remember, as babies, a knick in the penis is not as painful as having them get circumcised when they are adults.

4) One way jewish lineage can be traced back is through brit milah. If a jewish male loses necessary papers proving he is jewish (ie high school diploma from yeshiva, ketubah, etc.) this would be his proof.

I share Larisa’s sentiment wholeheartedly. Had my parents chosen not to circumcise me, I would have been a very pissed off adult. An acquaintance of mine who was born in Spain recently found out that he was descended from Crypto Jews. As part of his conversion process he willingly underwent an adult circumcision. Let’s just say that it wasn’t fun.

In any case, it is the parents’ responsibility to raise a child in the rites and beliefs that they hold dear. Male circumcision of an 8 day old baby is a relatively simple procedure that both makes one a part of the Abrahamic covenant and delivers a host of health benefits as well. I’m not even going to talk about smegma. Ugh. The point is that circumcision is one of the things that has marked and defined us as a people for thousands of years. Both secular and religious Jews are beneficiaries of a precious legacy that was handed down to us by our ancestors, often at great peril. There are no Romans to punish us for circumcision anymore – abandoning this and other traditions, especially now when we have never been freer to practice our faith, is sad and represents nothing less than a slap in the face of all those who braved persecution and hatred to pass on our very identities to us. As such, I completely reject everything that Brit Shalom stands for and I am not even going to address the manipulation and distortions presented by Dr. Reiss in the guise of making treif seem kosher. He is of course entitled to his opinion but I am insulted by his attempt to take this made up procedure, one that has no basis in Judaism at all, and to try to present it within the context of Jewish values and tradition.

Oh, this feels complicated. I’m not as anti-Brit Shalom as David. I actually find the arguments fairly compelling. At the same time, this ritual is at the core of my people, my community and my culture and I intend to actively raise a Jewish family within that culture.

I don’t like the idea of electing for a medically-optional procedure that has questionable health benefits (there is literature out there supporting both sides…) and, perhaps equally importantly, removes one of the most pleasurable parts of the male body given that the foreskin has a tremendous amount of nerve endings for sexual enjoyment. The foreskin can also contribute to better lubricated and more comfortable intercourse that is often more enjoyable for the woman, and the medical benefits of circumcision can often be equaled through daily washing and hygiene.

But, the power of tradition. If I had to choose between the heritage, values and caring nature of the Jewish community or the keeping of a foreskin, I would choose the former. But it’s not a zero sum game and perhaps there is room for flexibility – likely not in the Orthodox community where I come from, but perhaps in other streams of Judaism.

The circumcision debate is complicated, especially for someone like me who is able to understand, empathize with and embrace multiple perspectives. Thankfully, this is not a decision that I need to make right now, but – as I do hope to have children one day and possibly sons – this question has future relevance. Or maybe I’ll just have daughters? 🙂

At the risk of getting personal (what kind of column do I think this is?), I find uncircumsized cock really distasteful. It’s a reminder to me that whoever I am in bed with at this moment is either not Jewish or Jewish but not part of the traditional community. I’ve never sustained a long term relationship with someone who is uncircumcised. If you want your son to find himself the sort of nice Jewish girl who still makes chicken soup and sometimes lights Shabbos candles, then it doesn’t hurt for him to look the part both in and out of the bedroom. Among the things that I learned building a Jewish dating site and dating hot Jews, it’s that even secular Jewish people are attracted to others who look & feel Jewey.
So….let him look Jewish, naked. Also:

1. Brit Milah is a painful and expensive operation when done as an adult. Also, side effects are not uncommon. Brit Milah is a very essential part of both our religious experience and our culture. Choosing to ignore Brit Milah is to isolate yourself and your child from the community in a very serious way.

2. I’m sensitive to the concern that Brit Milah is a body mutilation performed on an unconsenting victim. There is actually some validity to that concern, when viewed from the secular perspective. However strong evidence in favor of health benefits makes this argument much less interesting.

My thoughts on circumcision are thus: As David said, it is the sign of the covenant between God and Abraham. It is a direct straightforward commandment. According to the author of the article, by law, identity is strictly matrilineal. However in the Torah it explicitly says that those who are not circumcised are cut off from their nation, no longer a part of it (Genesis 17:14). Essentially, not Jewish. Without circumcision you are rejecting God’s promise and should no longer claim yourself as part of the nation, part of the Jewish people.

We also see in Exodus 4:24, that when even Moses refrained from circumcising his son, God sought to kill him. It was only when Tzipporah fulfilled the brit for their son did God back off.

I also take issue with this statement: “Most Jews do not maintain kosher dietary laws, nor do they believe in laws forbidding travel or work on Shabbat. Why do they stubbornly maintain the atavistic ritual of circumcision?” They ‘stubbornly maintain’ because it is the last thing that they feel will keep them part of the Jewish people. If you don’t believe in any of it, kashrut, circumcision, etc, why bother calling yourself a Jew- just say you’re Agnostic and be done with it. Without circumcision you divest yourself of biblical Jewish history.

Another issue of not circumcising- although you might not be all that observant, your child might one day become a Ba’al T’shuva– ‘One who Returns.’ He might become more religious, Orthodox even. Within these more observant circles, circumcision is absolutely required. He would have to receive a full circumcision as an adult. Without it, he might not be able to have an Orthodox wedding among other complications.

Arguing for the other side, it is said that cutting off the foreskin deprives the full extent of pleasurable sensitivity for men, ‘robbing’ them of the sex life they could be having. Also in speaking with female friends who experienced both cut and uncut, they said the uncut was more pleasurable for them too, apparently.

Frankly though, it’s not like being circumcised has kept men from feeling pleasure, having active sex lives, etc. If that were the case, would not the Hebrews have died out the generation after Abraham from lack of being able to perform and impregnate their wives?

Howdy, fellow erotica appreciators! 🙂 OK, this is a tough one..I want to open and say that from a female perspective, or rather a Jewish female’s perspective, the circumcised penis seems friendlier…more inviting…less enshrined in itself and well…kind of sleepy. 🙂

That said, it is in fact a new empirical trend, so to speak, to question the relevance of circumcision, health and religion-wise. Circumcision also is considered to have a positive correlation with aggressiveness and adult violence.

Now, I don’t have a personal opinion: I do not have a baby boy to question this notion in regards to, nonetheless I DO have a personal experiences avec both options, if you will. So I think I can voice my opinion based on that. Here we go: I recently dated a man. Oh wait, as I’m writing this I realize that both the terms ‘dated’ and a ‘man’ are way too high and mighty for that experience so shall I rephrase? Recently experimented with this male (very different from man: only the equipment is there,but not other visceral chivalrous essences… ):

All he wanted to do is ‘play doctor’ in my bedroom…literally! 😉 Now don’t get me wrong, I’m the first advocator of the good ol’ tree shaking, wall pinning, mind blowing pummeling… Nonetheless, you gotta have some sensibility…and an uncut Jew…imagine my surprise…to that I shall say: Off with his head!;)

And just a final nugget I heard from a circumcised non-Jewish patient who had a lovely sexual encounter with a woman, who was not exactly in command of English (in certain places outside of the US, circumcision is truly considered a rarity and even disabling in a way). The woman turned to him and said:’You’re my first circus-cised man…’ To that he answered: what kinda circus is it, baby?… Am I the midget or the giant?…

Shabbat Shalom Y’all!