It became a pattern: on the Thursday nights he came over, she was weak and would let him into her bed. They talked for hours about his past relationships, his love for his wife. As if trying to convince himself of something, or to muster up the will to leave her bed. But he didn’t. And again there was no contact.
Very early one morning she found herself pressed back to back with him. Having already spent three nights in bed with him with no body contact she wasn’t exactly sure how that had happened. Suddenly he sighed and turned over. She felt him move closer and rest his arms against her back. A few minutes later he moved in and she moved back and it seemed the most natural thing in the world to spoon with him, his strong arms encircling her.
‘This feels so right,’ she thought to herself. It was like something had finally clicked into place. After about ten minutes or so he whispered “Are you awake?”
“Yes.”
“I don’t think there’s really any chance we’re falling back to sleep.”
“Probably not.”
They lay there for a few moments with him just holding her, stroking her curly hair and her arms.
“You’ve liked me for a while now, haven’t you?” he whispered in her ear.
“If I’m giving an honest answer, are we really having this conversation?”
“We don’t have to.”
“No, it’s time to talk.” Her eyes narrowed and she bristled. “Liked me for a while now” indeed. It was so egotistical it made her want to say something to wound his ego but she bit back the urge. She was too curious to see where this was going.
“When I moved here, yes, I thought you were good looking and a nice guy, but you’re married so it really didn’t matter. Off limits, taken. It wasn’t until the fall that things started to change for me.”
“Yeah, I got a real clue the night we all went out for your birthday. At one point you looked at me and I thought ‘she’s either really pissed off at me or wants to fuck me sideways.’”
Having gotten well and truly shitfaced that night, she couldn’t really recall giving him “fuck me” eyes. But who knows.
“I wish I can take things further with you, for you, but when I married we made a pact that we wouldn’t cheat on each other.”
She balked. “Shouldn’t no cheating go without saying? If a couple plans on having an open marriage, that’s their prerogative but that’s not what you and L have as far as I know. She’s openly possessive of you. What exactly do you think this is?”
“It’s not like we’re having sex. We’re just two good friends enjoying each other’s company and sharing physical affection with one another.”
“But if L knew?”
“Yeah, she would probably be really hurt if she found out about this. But it’s just innocent touch. You know, I think if she were more confident and secure in our relationship, she wouldn’t mind me cuddling with you. It’s not like I’m going to leave her. I love her and can’t imagine being without her.”
It was at that point she decided to wall her heart off. No sense in getting too emotionally invested. She knew she would only get hurt if she allowed herself to toe the line of falling in love with a man she could never keep.
Celebrating 10 Years & Marking the End of An Amazing Project
Celebrating 10 Years & Marking the End of An Amazing Project
At Jewrotica’s Evening of Bedside Readings, students declaimed monologues on sexual encounters that had a Jewish twist. At Columbia/Barnard Hillel, the speakers pushed their own boundaries by performing a range of explicit narratives that challenged how the audience thought of the relationship to Judaism and sex. During the speakers’ preparation, the arguments about which narratives would be appropriate forced students to take a stand and voice their opinion on their own beliefs about Judaism an… Read more
While many people fear the “sex talk,” Jewrotica offers an opportunity for writers and audiences to speak about sexuality in a open and safe space. When I attended a Jewrotica reading, I heard stories that reminded me that love takes many forms, and that expressing it is a vital part of who we are as a people.
What an incredible night Jewrotica was!!!! There was this fantastic moment, in a sea of Jews of all sexualities, ages, backgrounds and denominations, that I realized we were all in this together! I hope that there are many more events coming to Austin soon!
I had a great time deejaying at the Jewrotica event at Columbia University. The live readings were hilarious, informative, and in some cases, deeply moving. I know that I, along with many of my AEPi fraternity brothers, loved being able to connect our Judaism and our sexuality in a way that made all of us feel comfortable and welcome. I look forward to being a part of this again in the future!
I attended and participated in last month’s Jewrotica event. The engaging performers and Ayo, our inviting host, inspired the audience to feel like one big community. What a great way to inspire our community to embrace sex as a beautiful thing that can be fun, exciting, sacred, sensual, ridiculous, scary and everything in between!
The people behind Jewrotica are quite quality! I have confidence that any project these folks take on will be equally quality.
I’m so glad that Jewrotica is represented here at Jewlicious! It’s bringing voices that need to be heard in the Jewish discussion and Jewish climate environment.
The Jewrotica event “Evening of Jewrotica: Bedside Reading” was awesome. As Master of Confessions, I got to read the deepest, darkest secrets of people in the room out loud… It was scintillating, titillating, and – yes – even educational!
Jewrotica was everything I had dreamed of and more: sexy attendees, tantalizing confessions, and well-written literature to boot! More importantly, it empowers us Jews to reach inside and own our sexy selves and heritage!
I’m into Jewrotica. I went in for my second circumcision.
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