It became a pattern: on the Thursday nights he came over, she was weak and would let him into her bed. They talked for hours about his past relationships, his love for his wife. As if trying to convince himself of something, or to muster up the will to leave her bed. But he didn’t. And again there was no contact.
Very early one morning she found herself pressed back to back with him. Having already spent three nights in bed with him with no body contact she wasn’t exactly sure how that had happened. Suddenly he sighed and turned over. She felt him move closer and rest his arms against her back. A few minutes later he moved in and she moved back and it seemed the most natural thing in the world to spoon with him, his strong arms encircling her.
‘This feels so right,’ she thought to herself. It was like something had finally clicked into place. After about ten minutes or so he whispered “Are you awake?”
“Yes.”
“I don’t think there’s really any chance we’re falling back to sleep.”
“Probably not.”
They lay there for a few moments with him just holding her, stroking her curly hair and her arms.
“You’ve liked me for a while now, haven’t you?” he whispered in her ear.
“If I’m giving an honest answer, are we really having this conversation?”
“We don’t have to.”
“No, it’s time to talk.” Her eyes narrowed and she bristled. “Liked me for a while now” indeed. It was so egotistical it made her want to say something to wound his ego but she bit back the urge. She was too curious to see where this was going.
“When I moved here, yes, I thought you were good looking and a nice guy, but you’re married so it really didn’t matter. Off limits, taken. It wasn’t until the fall that things started to change for me.”
“Yeah, I got a real clue the night we all went out for your birthday. At one point you looked at me and I thought ‘she’s either really pissed off at me or wants to fuck me sideways.’”
Having gotten well and truly shitfaced that night, she couldn’t really recall giving him “fuck me” eyes. But who knows.
“I wish I can take things further with you, for you, but when I married we made a pact that we wouldn’t cheat on each other.”
She balked. “Shouldn’t no cheating go without saying? If a couple plans on having an open marriage, that’s their prerogative but that’s not what you and L have as far as I know. She’s openly possessive of you. What exactly do you think this is?”
“It’s not like we’re having sex. We’re just two good friends enjoying each other’s company and sharing physical affection with one another.”
“But if L knew?”
“Yeah, she would probably be really hurt if she found out about this. But it’s just innocent touch. You know, I think if she were more confident and secure in our relationship, she wouldn’t mind me cuddling with you. It’s not like I’m going to leave her. I love her and can’t imagine being without her.”
It was at that point she decided to wall her heart off. No sense in getting too emotionally invested. She knew she would only get hurt if she allowed herself to toe the line of falling in love with a man she could never keep.
Celebrating 10 Years & Marking the End of An Amazing Project
Celebrating 10 Years & Marking the End of An Amazing Project
Jewrotica is awesome. It expands the mind and for people who were raised with narrow views on sexuality. Whether you are Jewish or not, or in different sects of Judaism like Orthodox, Conservative or Reform, no matter what your background or where you’re from, Jewrotica gets you to see Judaism and how it relates to sexuality in new ways. I really appreciate Ayo being here and helping us learn different ways to connect with our sexuality.
I’m so glad that Jewrotica is represented here at Jewlicious! It’s bringing voices that need to be heard in the Jewish discussion and Jewish climate environment.
Jewrotica rocks. It’s funny, it’s informative, it’s sexy, it’s interesting. Check it out!
I’m into Jewrotica. I went in for my second circumcision.
I stepped out of my comfort zone to be a part of this. I was glad to open up the topic of sexuality in my community. We are trying to build a safe space to talk about sex. The result I am most happy about coming from this event is that hopefully now my friends know they can come and talk to me, that I can be their ‘safe space’.
I’m Heshy Fried from Frum Satire and I am very, very frum. And I completely support Jewrotica – it’s doing a service to the frum community. We need some sort of kosher sexual education. Jewrotica even has a system that allows frum filters to filter out certain things to make it PG for us. It’s mamish Torah. It’s like The Little Midrash Says for sex.
Jewrotica was everything I had dreamed of and more: sexy attendees, tantalizing confessions, and well-written literature to boot! More importantly, it empowers us Jews to reach inside and own our sexy selves and heritage!
The Jewrotica event “Evening of Jewrotica: Bedside Reading” was awesome. As Master of Confessions, I got to read the deepest, darkest secrets of people in the room out loud… It was scintillating, titillating, and – yes – even educational!
Such an amazing experience! The Sarah Lawrence Jewrotica workshop was more than I could have ever expected – a comfortable, safe, sultry environment where participants clearly felt good about sharing or listening to each other’s intimate experiences and relating them to sexy stories from the Torah. From the moment the workshop began, Ayo had a sweet presence that was kinetic and spread around the room; her storytelling abilities had everyone enraptured and made the conversation topics relata… Read more
While many people fear the “sex talk,” Jewrotica offers an opportunity for writers and audiences to speak about sexuality in a open and safe space. When I attended a Jewrotica reading, I heard stories that reminded me that love takes many forms, and that expressing it is a vital part of who we are as a people.
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