It became a pattern: on the Thursday nights he came over, she was weak and would let him into her bed. They talked for hours about his past relationships, his love for his wife. As if trying to convince himself of something, or to muster up the will to leave her bed. But he didn’t. And again there was no contact.
Very early one morning she found herself pressed back to back with him. Having already spent three nights in bed with him with no body contact she wasn’t exactly sure how that had happened. Suddenly he sighed and turned over. She felt him move closer and rest his arms against her back. A few minutes later he moved in and she moved back and it seemed the most natural thing in the world to spoon with him, his strong arms encircling her.
‘This feels so right,’ she thought to herself. It was like something had finally clicked into place. After about ten minutes or so he whispered “Are you awake?”
“Yes.”
“I don’t think there’s really any chance we’re falling back to sleep.”
“Probably not.”
They lay there for a few moments with him just holding her, stroking her curly hair and her arms.
“You’ve liked me for a while now, haven’t you?” he whispered in her ear.
“If I’m giving an honest answer, are we really having this conversation?”
“We don’t have to.”
“No, it’s time to talk.” Her eyes narrowed and she bristled. “Liked me for a while now” indeed. It was so egotistical it made her want to say something to wound his ego but she bit back the urge. She was too curious to see where this was going.
“When I moved here, yes, I thought you were good looking and a nice guy, but you’re married so it really didn’t matter. Off limits, taken. It wasn’t until the fall that things started to change for me.”
“Yeah, I got a real clue the night we all went out for your birthday. At one point you looked at me and I thought ‘she’s either really pissed off at me or wants to fuck me sideways.’”
Having gotten well and truly shitfaced that night, she couldn’t really recall giving him “fuck me” eyes. But who knows.
“I wish I can take things further with you, for you, but when I married we made a pact that we wouldn’t cheat on each other.”
She balked. “Shouldn’t no cheating go without saying? If a couple plans on having an open marriage, that’s their prerogative but that’s not what you and L have as far as I know. She’s openly possessive of you. What exactly do you think this is?”
“It’s not like we’re having sex. We’re just two good friends enjoying each other’s company and sharing physical affection with one another.”
“But if L knew?”
“Yeah, she would probably be really hurt if she found out about this. But it’s just innocent touch. You know, I think if she were more confident and secure in our relationship, she wouldn’t mind me cuddling with you. It’s not like I’m going to leave her. I love her and can’t imagine being without her.”
It was at that point she decided to wall her heart off. No sense in getting too emotionally invested. She knew she would only get hurt if she allowed herself to toe the line of falling in love with a man she could never keep.
Celebrating 10 Years & Marking the End of An Amazing Project
Celebrating 10 Years & Marking the End of An Amazing Project
I stepped out of my comfort zone to be a part of this. I was glad to open up the topic of sexuality in my community. We are trying to build a safe space to talk about sex. The result I am most happy about coming from this event is that hopefully now my friends know they can come and talk to me, that I can be their ‘safe space’.
Jewrotica is something that the community has needed for a long time so that people can actually learn, express and share and have good relationships without having to stumble through life. Check out the site and learn something. Have fun!
Bedside Reading with Jewrotica was funny, sexy, and hot all at once. The readings were honest about all kinds of sexuality, but the highlight of the evening was definitely the confessions, written by audience participants. Nobody knew who wrote them, and most were tell-alls that would make your bubbe blush. Unless your bubbe was very, very cool. Then maybe she’d make YOU blush!
At Jewrotica’s Evening of Bedside Readings, students declaimed monologues on sexual encounters that had a Jewish twist. At Columbia/Barnard Hillel, the speakers pushed their own boundaries by performing a range of explicit narratives that challenged how the audience thought of the relationship to Judaism and sex. During the speakers’ preparation, the arguments about which narratives would be appropriate forced students to take a stand and voice their opinion on their own beliefs about Judaism an… Read more
You may not tell your mom that you’re going to a live Jewrotica reading (or whatever clever name you will dub these events) but you will tell your friends. However, both would be jealous if they find out that they missed it. I think it will only be a matter of time before Jewrotica helps us reclaim the term “Dirty Jew” the way rap music has done for “The ‘N’ Word.” I know I am now proud to be a Dirty Jew!
I’m into Jewrotica. I went in for my second circumcision.
Jewrotica rocks. It’s funny, it’s informative, it’s sexy, it’s interesting. Check it out!
While many people fear the “sex talk,” Jewrotica offers an opportunity for writers and audiences to speak about sexuality in a open and safe space. When I attended a Jewrotica reading, I heard stories that reminded me that love takes many forms, and that expressing it is a vital part of who we are as a people.
The Jewrotica event “Evening of Jewrotica: Bedside Reading” was awesome. As Master of Confessions, I got to read the deepest, darkest secrets of people in the room out loud… It was scintillating, titillating, and – yes – even educational!
I love the inclusiveness – there is something for everyone, in and out of the Jewish community.
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