Because nothing says nice Jewish girl like a white wicker nightstand
(photo credit: CC BY SocialWicker, Flickr)
At first, I thought I was saved.
But then, with a mighty hand and an outstretched arm, the rabbi yanked the drawer open, and in the process activated the iRabbit’s on-switch. Whirring, buzzing, and gyrating, this vibrator, unlike so many smaller, more discreet models, leaves very little to the imagination. It comes complete with a fairly girthy shaft and a well-formed glans, and, why yes, it does appear to be circumcised.
The rabbi slammed the drawer shut and we both pretended that we couldn’t hear the rhythmic buzzing as we continued to discuss the upcoming ceremony.
“So, her first name is in honor of your mother, may she be of blessed memory?” He shouted, taking on his yarmulke’s festive shade of burgundy as the vibrator bumped in the drawer, and the entire bedside table shook.
“Yes!” I yelled back.
And as the vibrator did a bump and grind against the drawer, my entire Jewish life flashed before my eyes. Sunday School story time in the synagogue sanctuary. Reciting the aleph bet at Hebrew School. Singing “Hinei ma Tov” around the camp fire at sleep-away camp in Malibu. Reading from the Torah during my bat mitzvah. Singing in the choir on Hanukka.
But still, even though I was mortified, I reveled in the complexity of the moment. Because guess what: You can be a nice Jewish girl and a mother and still have a vibrator.
Just ask my rabbi.
Celebrating 10 Years & Marking the End of An Amazing Project
Celebrating 10 Years & Marking the End of An Amazing Project
Bedside Reading with Jewrotica was funny, sexy, and hot all at once. The readings were honest about all kinds of sexuality, but the highlight of the evening was definitely the confessions, written by audience participants. Nobody knew who wrote them, and most were tell-alls that would make your bubbe blush. Unless your bubbe was very, very cool. Then maybe she’d make YOU blush!
My opinion on Jewrotica is: It’s sexy. It’s awesome. It’s Judaism to the next level. It’s what we should all be getting into!
Jewrotica rocks. It’s funny, it’s informative, it’s sexy, it’s interesting. Check it out!
At Jewrotica’s Evening of Bedside Readings, students declaimed monologues on sexual encounters that had a Jewish twist. At Columbia/Barnard Hillel, the speakers pushed their own boundaries by performing a range of explicit narratives that challenged how the audience thought of the relationship to Judaism and sex. During the speakers’ preparation, the arguments about which narratives would be appropriate forced students to take a stand and voice their opinion on their own beliefs about Judaism an… Read more
Jewrotica is something that the community has needed for a long time so that people can actually learn, express and share and have good relationships without having to stumble through life. Check out the site and learn something. Have fun!
Jewrotica is inspiring Jews and erotica with holiness and coolness, and is the pride of progressive Judaism. Jewrotica – awesome!
While many people fear the “sex talk,” Jewrotica offers an opportunity for writers and audiences to speak about sexuality in a open and safe space. When I attended a Jewrotica reading, I heard stories that reminded me that love takes many forms, and that expressing it is a vital part of who we are as a people.
I’m so glad that Jewrotica is represented here at Jewlicious! It’s bringing voices that need to be heard in the Jewish discussion and Jewish climate environment.
I stepped out of my comfort zone to be a part of this. I was glad to open up the topic of sexuality in my community. We are trying to build a safe space to talk about sex. The result I am most happy about coming from this event is that hopefully now my friends know they can come and talk to me, that I can be their ‘safe space’.
Jewrotica was everything I had dreamed of and more: sexy attendees, tantalizing confessions, and well-written literature to boot! More importantly, it empowers us Jews to reach inside and own our sexy selves and heritage!
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