What It’s Like To Be A Jewish Woman Who Sells Luxury Sex Toys

A76 sex toys

Written by Stacy Rybchin. Stacy is a first-time Jewrotica writer.

PG-13

Hello … my name is Stacy and I am a nice Jewish girl from Philadelphia who sells luxury sex toys. Why would a nice Jewish girl get into the sex toy business? Perhaps a better question is why wouldn’t a nice Jewish girl get into this business? After all, you are as likely to run into a Jew in the adult industry as you are at the neighborhood Kosher deli.

Jewish mothers around the world want their children to grow up to be accountants, lawyers, and doctors. They don’t expect to spawn adult industry entrepreneurs. But Jews in the adult industry include porn actors and actresses, porn studio executives, adult sex toy manufacturers, adult shop owners and erotica writers. Fortunately, with the exception of the infamous Ron Jeremy (from New York), very few find themselves in front of the camera anymore (though in the 70s and 80s most performers were Jewish). These days Jews are active in a different side of the business. In my case, as an Internet eCommerce trailblazer.

It all started when my husband and I took a post-Shabbat walk through Greenwich Village. We found ourselves in front of a sex shop. My husband and I are not terribly adventurous or particularly kinky. However, we are each other’s beshert and make an effort to keep our marriage fun and exciting. We walked into that store out of pure curiosity.

I admit, walking into a crowded sex shop in NYC on a Saturday night may not be the most tznius thing to do.  What we saw left us feeling embarrassed and dirty – and not in a good way. I realized there had to be a better way to learn about adult products and inspire romance.

Jews believe that sex is not shameful or obscene. As long as sexual desire is controlled and satisfied respectfully between two partners, then it is not shameful (and of course, when it’s between a husband and wife, it’s considered a mitzvah).

When I got home, I went online and struggled to find an online store that could offer the kind of products and experience that people like us would like.  The rest is history and MySecretLuxury was born. I started the business to deliver a luxurious, sophisticated, and discreet experience.

Whether one is frum or frei, they deserve to experience romance, passion, and pleasure (in the privacy of their home).  If a romantic scented candle helps heighten the mood, then great.  If a massage oil make your toes tingle, even better.  If a discreet vibrator makes it easier to reach orgasm, then baruch Hashem!

Pleasure is a birthright and everyone deserves to experience it. It’s important for men and women to learn about pleasure, discover innovative products, and shop in a secure environment where they can feel comfortable.

My mother loves to tell her friends about my business and is proud of her Jewish daughter who is helping stimulate the next sexual revolution. I like to think that in some small way, I continue the tradition of Paul Goodman, Wilhelm Reich, Herbert Marcuse – Jews who sparked the sexual revolution of the 1960s.

Thankfully, our religion does not hold us hostage to unreasonable constraints – in fact a Jewish husband and wife are obligated to have sex. While the myth that Jews have sex through a sheet continues to permeate our culture, we know that Jews believe that sex between a loving husband and wife is a mitzvah. I provide products that enable a loving married couple to fulfill their mutual obligations to have sex.

I am also a Jewish mother who will teach her boys the same values that my husband learned at yeshiva. My boys are too young to know about or understand my business. One day… I will tell them what I do. Is what I do any “dirtier” than what a gynecologist or sex therapist does for a living?

There is a chance my boys will find their mom’s business embarrassing. There will likely be a chuckle and, knowing my boys, at least one wise-ass comment. However, we live in an age where kids are having pre-marital sex in increasing numbers and STDs in high schools are reaching near-epidemic numbers. My business offers me a platform to have a mature and open discussion with them. I will teach them that sex is reserved for loving married couples. I will teach them that sex is not some dirty activity done in the backseat of a car, but a beautiful expression of the love they will one day have for their beshert.

I never expected to sell sex toys. However, I am not ashamed or embarrassed to be in this industry. In fact, I feel that there is something noble about inspiring romance, facilitating love, and increasing pleasure. As Jews we are commanded to serve G-d with joy. Is there anything that brings more joy than the occasional orgasm?

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  • http://www.facebook.com/AmyBethO Ayo Oppenheimer

    Stacy, thanks for writing for us!

    I’m curious: How religiously observant is the community you live in?

    Much like people don’t “disclose all” on a first date, do you tell people your profession right away when, say, invited for Shabbat lunch?

    • http://twitter.com/MySecretLuxury My Secret Luxury

      If it comes up, I do tell people. Most people are very interested and want to learn more!

  • mara yacobi

    Wonderful article! I especially like how you highlighted everyone’s right to experience pleasure. You write that you teach students that sex is reserved for loving married couples. I wonder how you might respond to a generation of young people who may not get married until they are in their 30s, 40s, 50s…or ever. Do you expect them to wait for sex until marriage?

    • http://twitter.com/MySecretLuxury My Secret Luxury

      At least that’s what I will try teach my 2 boys, but if they are anything like their parents, they won’t listen!