She pictures his blue eyes, swimming in his skull just inches from hers, as she allows herself to sink a little deeper into the pleasure he engenders in her. She loses herself just a little more, reflecting on the paleness of his eyes, gazing at her with such softness that she can never tell if they are on the verge of tears or laughter. And the blackness of his pupils when they dilate while looking at her, as if he could force her to love him through the sheer willpower pouring through his eyes into hers.
She wants to trust him. But not yet. She wants to yield to him. But not yet. She wants to own him and be owned by him. But not yet. She wants to challenge him, to be earned by him, to be won, not as a prize but as herself, as a being that he can only claim through digging deep enough to find that best of the men that he could have been and only perhaps can yet still become. She wants him to return to that youth who had just been Bar Mitzvah-ed and was unwittingly about to go off the derech, still innocent, full of promise and ambition and driven by a desire to do good things rather then submit to earthly categories of success; the boy on his way to becoming a man who had not yet yielded to expediency and pragmatism in that world of politics and power games she hated so fully and in which he had come to operate so deftly.
As she basks in all these thoughts and the animal closeness of walking alongside him in easy silence, her breathing rises with the exertion of the walk and the beating of her heart and she feels the moisture of the most faint of sweats breaking on her skin. She feels other moisture rising elsewhere as she mentally stokes the fire glowing between her hips. She gasps, barely audibly, as a small shudder momentarily overwhelms her. Without breaking stride, she reaches for his elbow to steady herself; an elbow he had already offered by moving it toward her, just fractions of a second before she needed it, as if he had known, as if he had helped will her body to suddenly spasm with pleasure.
As she looks over and just barely up at his face while quieting her breathing and begging for the slowing of her still racing heart, she sees the remnants of a smile that he could not, or chose not to suppress. She sinks against him, melting into his side, supported by the solidity of his body alongside hers. Then, still without breaking stride, her body tenses and internally she freezes. The willingness to relinquish control she knows he will require of her is too much. Her rigid religious training is too strong. The taste of pleasure on a simple stroll portends waves and entire oceans of feelings she has kept under control and locked away since adolescence. The acceptance of the years and intensity of pleasure she must have forbidden herself is too much to fathom. The mechitza in the vicinity of her navel and the tops of her hips is too high to be overcome. She withdraws from him. And though the trace of a smile remains on the side of his face nearer hers, on the other side he is forcing back tears.
Celebrating 10 Years & Marking the End of An Amazing Project
Celebrating 10 Years & Marking the End of An Amazing Project
I attended and participated in last month’s Jewrotica event. The engaging performers and Ayo, our inviting host, inspired the audience to feel like one big community. What a great way to inspire our community to embrace sex as a beautiful thing that can be fun, exciting, sacred, sensual, ridiculous, scary and everything in between!
I’m into Jewrotica. I went in for my second circumcision.
I love the inclusiveness – there is something for everyone, in and out of the Jewish community.
Jewrotica is something that the community has needed for a long time so that people can actually learn, express and share and have good relationships without having to stumble through life. Check out the site and learn something. Have fun!
Jewrotica is a great way to ask interesting questions about the interplay between sensuality and Jewish wisdom. Check it out.
Such an amazing experience! The Sarah Lawrence Jewrotica workshop was more than I could have ever expected – a comfortable, safe, sultry environment where participants clearly felt good about sharing or listening to each other’s intimate experiences and relating them to sexy stories from the Torah. From the moment the workshop began, Ayo had a sweet presence that was kinetic and spread around the room; her storytelling abilities had everyone enraptured and made the conversation topics relata… Read more
You may not tell your mom that you’re going to a live Jewrotica reading (or whatever clever name you will dub these events) but you will tell your friends. However, both would be jealous if they find out that they missed it. I think it will only be a matter of time before Jewrotica helps us reclaim the term “Dirty Jew” the way rap music has done for “The ‘N’ Word.” I know I am now proud to be a Dirty Jew!
At Jewrotica’s Evening of Bedside Readings, students declaimed monologues on sexual encounters that had a Jewish twist. At Columbia/Barnard Hillel, the speakers pushed their own boundaries by performing a range of explicit narratives that challenged how the audience thought of the relationship to Judaism and sex. During the speakers’ preparation, the arguments about which narratives would be appropriate forced students to take a stand and voice their opinion on their own beliefs about Judaism an… Read more
The Jewrotica event “Evening of Jewrotica: Bedside Reading” was awesome. As Master of Confessions, I got to read the deepest, darkest secrets of people in the room out loud… It was scintillating, titillating, and – yes – even educational!
Bedside Reading with Jewrotica was funny, sexy, and hot all at once. The readings were honest about all kinds of sexuality, but the highlight of the evening was definitely the confessions, written by audience participants. Nobody knew who wrote them, and most were tell-alls that would make your bubbe blush. Unless your bubbe was very, very cool. Then maybe she’d make YOU blush!
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