My Sweet Boy, My Goy Toy

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A38 toy

Written by Hugo Schwyzer.  Hugo is a first-time Jewrotica writer, and a professor of history and gender studies.  Follow Hugo on Twitter at @hugoschwyzerRated R

“Don’t be silly.  You’re never going to meet my parents.”

Chana was on top of me still, my cock slowly softening inside her, her long damp curls hanging in my face.  Her fingers gently stroked my neck, the transition from frantic coupling to pillow talk already well underway.  It was a Sunday afternoon in my tiny Westwood studio apartment.  Fellow graduate students at UCLA, Chana and I had been sleeping together for three weeks.  We’d been friends for three years, and
I was falling for her. Hard.

“Sweet boy,” she murmured, seeing the hurt flash across my face.  “Please don’t make this more than what it is.”   I sighed.  Chana raised herself on her elbow.  “If you fall in love with me,” she said, her voice tender but serious, “we’ll have to stop this.   I’ve always been clear with you, right?”

She had been.  We’d first met at a new graduate student orientation. I’d been 22, Chana two years older. We were each starting doctoral programs; I was a budding medievalist, she a scholar of late antiquity with an interest in Jewish texts.  From a modern Orthodox family in Connecticut, Chana had done her undergrad work at Columbia before a brief and unhappy stint in law school.  When I met her that first day at UCLA, she’d just broken off her engagement to a medical student her parents adored and moved out west to pursue her true intellectual passion.

From the moment Chana walked in – late – to the orientation, I was mesmerized. When she sat down next to me, in that hot and crowded Bunche Hall classroom, I could smell the mingled scents of her perfume and her sweat.   Her first words to me were an urgent, throaty whisper, her hot breath in my ear: “What did I miss?” Not much, I replied, cursing myself for not having anything cleverer to say.  Chana’s extraordinary red hair cascaded down her back, the tight curls glowing in the afternoon light.  Our shoulders touched.  I barely heard the department chair’s long-winded welcome.  At the wine and cheese reception that followed, I felt pangs of jealousy the moment that she chatted with any other man – and a flush of intense pleasure when she turned her attention back to me.

When Chana finally noticed my last name on my nametag (I’d only given her my first) her eyes grew wide with mischief.  “A schvitzer?  Do you live up to it?”  I blushed hot, transfixed by the way her pointed tongue darted out from between her lips.  I couldn’t tell if she was flirting with me, but I hoped she was.   At the end of the orientation, she tossed that impossibly glorious red mane of hair over her shoulder, locked eyes with me, and said she hoped to see me around sometime.  I grunted inarticulately, and berated myself for it all the way home.

I crushed on Chana for the next three years, through the entirety of a brief and very ill-advised starter marriage to a college sweetheart and through Chana’s rather public flings with a couple of fellow graduate students.  Finally, in the fall of 1992, we were assigned to the same professor to serve as teaching assistants for a survey course in modern European history.  At last, we went out for coffee alone.

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Hugo Schwyzer is a professor of history and gender studies. Follow Hugo on Twitter at @hugoschwyzer.
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  • QQT

    Why are you posting articles by this guy?

    • Ayo Oppenheimer

      Hi QQT. I thought that “Goy Toy” was an excellent piece of writing with a compelling narrative, and it certainly incorporates an underlying consideration of Jewish values and culture.

      We at Jewrotica are a new and growing site – still developing our sense of mission and scope. We are always looking for a range of quality content, so if you’ve written any pieces that speak to the intersection of relationships, romance, sex, sexuality, gender, etc. with Judaism or Jewish culture, we would love to see them.

      • QQT

        OK. You think this guy is going to bring traffic to your site because he is “controversial” – or, even worse – you haven’t even googled him and have no idea who you hired. I suspect that people who have been wronged by this guy are going to associate that with your site.

        But we’ll see.

        • Sarah Tuttle-Singer

          Well, QQT, be that as it may, the past IS past – and Hugo is a talented writer with a very dynamic and complex history that makes for real understanding. And that’s all there is to it.

        • Heshy

          Whoever Hugo is (I don’t really care), his writing is hot. I noticed his first name when I started reading but was instantly drawn into the story. That’s what counts for me.

    • David Abitbol

      Seriously? Are you pissed at him for stuff he did 14 years ago when he was an addict? I personally don’t care and if you don’t like it don’t read it. He was interviewed in xojane and he seems like an ok guy. Now. – So yeah. I know who he is and I had no problem publishing him.

      • Xerxes Zerzes

        Read the comments at that site you link to, and read how his behavior is ongoing.

        • David Abitbol

          This post stands on its own merit. It’s good writing and that’s pretty much all that matters. Hugo isn’t addressing issues directly related to feminism and both his fans and detractors have been given ample opportunity to express their opinions. I’m not going to be drawn into this fight any further. I would urge you all to make your points and leave it at that. I’m all for free speech but I am not above deleting posts that are abusive and repetitive.

          • Sarah Tuttle-Singer

            I second that. Hugo can write. He’s got a story to tell. Enough.

      • QQT

        You have no idea about the pain and damage to lives that this person has brought. The comments on XOJANE -that you yourself referenced – may give you a clue. The hatred on the Internet in general may also give you a clue.

        If you are absolutely immune to the pain of others, maybe rubbing your nose in it will help. If this is a Jewish site, I could post lots of stuff that you may not find acceptable. Allow me to do it – and you are truly going to be offended, Mr. Lacking Empathy. Hugo is a piece of dog shit.

        • Sarah Tuttle-Singer

          QQT, do you even know Hugo personally? Or are you just going on the splatter out there on the internet?

  • Anonymous Internet Commenter

    Another gorgeous story by a great writer. I feel for you, man.

  • Anjasa

    A lovely story that made me feel quite wistful and sad.

    • Sarah Tuttle-Singer

      it’s beautiful, isn’t it?

  • Banana

    very riveting.. I googled Hugo since I don’t know much about him. Everyone does something in their past they are not proud of. Should that be held against him now? in the present? I feel that his post captures a very strong woman capable of holding onto her beliefs and not budge in light of extremely hot sex escapades. Do i agree with the whole being loose with a non jew for the kicks… no, but that’s a personal feeling. The overall message is still valid and pertinent.

    • Xerxes Zerzes

      Hugo has been known to use “sock puppets”. He artificially pumps up comments (when he can) by posting as various “strangers”. Sometimes the comments overwhelm him – like on XOJANE, with the link given above by David Abitbol.

      • David Abitbol

        Uhm re. sock puppetry, we have two negative commentators, Xerxes and QQT, both of whom are posting from the same IP block in the same European city. So… yeah. I see no other evidence here of shady commenting. Certainly not by Hugo as far as I can tell.

        • Sarah Tuttle-Singer


        • CheckTheIP

          Third critic here. Check my IP address and report back.

          As to you: You are hiding behind a GoDaddy address and think that a Whois won’t touch you. I already get the real address on the 24th page of Google (from my area).

          As to the content: Hugo is not a nice person. You think you are going to get more traffic with this Le Grande Douche. You are more likely going to get a boycott.

          • David Abitbol

            My physical address is not a secret, I have nothing to hide. Go boycott Jane and XO.

  • Daniel Winter

    Great. Tough. Mind fuck. She may have wanted you to convert but she saw that you did/do not see the point/issue. You inherited your mother’s goyishe kopf, not your father’s yiddishe one. Nebech.

  • Shayna S. Abramson

    I really enjoyed this story.

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  • Ayo Oppenheimer

    An update from Hugo: “An old friend of mine with whom I’d lost touch — but about whom I’d written a piece for Jewrotica — just wrote me tonight for the first time in 20 years to say someone had sent her the article. … and she was totally cool with it, enjoyed reliving the memories, and said, unbidden, “I’m glad you took the risk to write it.” She also appreciated I changed the identifying details, too. I’m so pleased. Thanks for that!”

    When we asked if we could post this update…

    “I asked if I could post our exchange, and she said yes, but asked to stay anonymous given where she is in her life; we’re not friends on FB or anything, and I want to respect that. But just keep calling her Chana and we’re good.”

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  • Hekkus

    A well written and satisfying read. Explicit without being tacky. The ending was nicely downbeat.

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