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In Defense of “Everything But” as a (Modern?) Orthodox Ideal

By on October 16, 2012
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In Defense of Everything But 2

Furthermore, sexual pressure sometimes works the other way, convincing Orthodox Jews to no longer be Orthodox, so that they can live a sexually satisfied lifestyle without feeling hypocritical. The legal roots of shomer negiah are easily overturned: Women are biblically mandated to go to a mikvah, a ritual bath, between when their periods end and when sex begins. The rabbis extended “sex” to mean all forms of physical contact, and then decided not to let single women go to the mikvah, lest they have sex. The rabbis could easily overturn the ban on single women immersing, since the principles both of “human dignity” and “et laasot laHashem,” a time in which one halacha must be undone to protect the system, can be used to overturn rabbinic rulings.

The common reason given for not undoing the ban is that it will cause single women to become promiscuous. There are separate rabbinic rulings against pre-marital sex, but those have not been explicitly extended to other forms of physical intimacy, so getting rid of the mikvah ban would make “everything but” completely kosher. It also would keep actual intercourse forbidden, but rabbis just don’t trust women – and that is the real problem. (While single men are also expected to remain chaste, the laws and rhetoric are termed mostly in terms of female obligation, and every rabbi I’ve spoken to about this has mentioned a fear about women’s desires, and not about men’s.)

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Shayna is a native Manhattanite whose interests include Torah, human rights, and poetry. An avid procrastinator, Shayna spends most of her time on Facebook, or watching any game involving the Brazilian soccer team. Brasil para Mundial 2014!
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