Jews and sex toys: what is allowed?

By Jennifer Schmitt

We stand at the beginning of a new time. Right now, we should be able to explore our sexuality without fearing other people’s judgmental. Since sex is an integral part of marriage, Jewish couples and individuals need to learn how to satisfy their desires without feeling guilty about it.

Let’s not forget that sexuality was an essential subject in rabbinic literature and Tanach. Sex in the context of marriage is considered holy; it is referred to as the Kiddushin, stage of the Jewish wedding process. So, Jewish couples deserve a healthy sexual relationship.

However, how often do we speak about how to improve our sex life? What is considered to be ‘right’? And what is the perversion? The time is right to answer these questions and start feeling good about ourselves.

Finally, people reached the point when they tend to learn the subject of sex. More than that, some Jews understand the importance of sexual intercourse in everyday life and want to teach future generations.

The first night might be pretty awkward and stressful for many young people. The ones who don’t have proper sexual education at school or home might not be able to perform well in bed because they don’t know where to start. However, sex shouldn’t be stressful and unpleasant. So, it is essential to prepare them and explain that sex is a normal thing that everyone needs to enjoy. More than that, they need to understand that there are different types of sexual intercourse like vaginal, oral, anal sex. People are free to use extra stuff to have even better sex – oils, lubricants, sexy underwear, and toys.

Since we came up to this, it is the time to mention kosher sex toys that are available on the market. The background of the sexy kosher concept is pretty simple.

Rabbi Alexander had some difficulties in his marriage a few years ago. It was a time when he decided to improve his sexual life, that’s why he came up with the idea to try some sex toys. He didn’t like the way the sex industry looked like, though. Rabbi wanted to feel comfortable buying sex toys for his wife, and he couldn’t do it – pictures and descriptions on the packages were so inappropriate. That is how he came up with an idea to start selling kosher sex toys. He calls them ‘couples’ products.’ The target audience is heterosexual married people.

Of course, using sex toys without your partner isn’t recommended.

Rabbi Alexander states that using sex toys will help to take things to the next level. Indeed, sex therapy can improve the relationship.

What are kosher sex toys?

There are mostly products for women- g-spot, traditional and rabbit vibrators; clitoral stimulators, kegels. There are no male-masturbation aids in the Jewish store. Even though the sex market is full of male sex toys – masturbators, realistic sex dolls, penis rings, prostate toys.

However, religious Jews aren’t ready to speak about the importance of male orgasm. People presume that it happens naturally and that men don’t need additional stimulation.

Jewish Law doesn’t allow male masturbation because self-pleasuring is considered “wasting the seed.”

It explains why there are no kosher sex toys for men.

However, masturbation itself is a natural activity and using different male toys can help to spice up sex in your marriage.

So, it doesn’t mean that the couple can’t discuss their sexual fantasies and make them come true. You can do anything you’d like behind a closed door. It is entirely possible your partner will want something that is out of the official list.

How to choose kosher sex toys?

Sex toys are extremely important, especially in a long-term relationship. Some men and women need extra stimulation that triggers the orgasm. So, both partners should take care of each other and not be afraid to bring a toy into the bed.

We shouldn’t forget that sex is considered a women’s right. So, it’s the husband’s responsibility to ensure that his wife is sexually satisfied. In this context, he can do anything she’d like in order to fulfill his obligation.

People who have never used sex toys might be very confused since there are tons of products on the market. That’s where sexual education is needed. Both partners should understand what they enjoy the most. It will help to choose the right sex toy. Also, it’s necessary for partners to discuss whether they both feel comfortable using sex toys.

Both husband and wife have the right to orgasm. Equality in bed is an essential part of chemistry; no one should feel left out. If partners don’t feel comfortable to discuss their desires with each other, they can consult sexologist who will direct the couple and help them choose their first sex toys.

Hopefully, the discussion on Jewish men’s pleasure will remain open, and we will be able to purchase kosher male sex toys in the very near future. Another thing to consider is launching sex toys for single Jews on the market since the concept of premarital sex is still taboo. 

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