Photo credit to Solomon and the Queen of Sheba and Black Iris III
Tegan was smooth. Watching her slice artichoke hearts with mathematical precision, then beat the batter hard, like a war, I thought, she probably really did walk the fifteen miles from San Francisco.
We sat at the dinner table until everyone else drifted off to bed. Tegan pushed with her heels, rocking the legs on my chair, and I did my poem, finally, letting the words come all quiet, in a whisper, as though I was making them up just then, as though I was talking to her with those words.
And then she went to bed.
“You can follow me if you want,” she called over her shoulder, pushing open the door to her room.
I skipped after her like a puppy. As soon as we hit the mattress, we both passed out.
I got to synagogue the next morning in time to hear the Song of Songs, the erotic poem that King Solomon wrote to the Queen of Sheba. The one where he talks about breasts and clitori in such detail that the Artscroll prayerbook refuses to publish a literal translation. I barely understand Hebrew and it makes me want to cry and come, both at once.
It took most of the luncheonette outside afterward for me to come down.
Finally the gang got ready to leave. Jimmy touched my shoulder. Are you coming for lunch? he whispered, and I was like, Yes, oh please Hashem, yes. On the way home, Tegan grabbed my arm and whispered in my ear, “Song of Songs got me all aroused, did you get aroused?”
Oh my God. I might be falling for her.
If you’d like to read more, pick up a copy of Matthue’s Yom Kippur a Go-Go here.
I’m Heshy Fried from Frum Satire and I am very, very frum. And I completely support Jewrotica – it’s doing a service to the frum community. We need some sort of kosher sexual education. Jewrotica even has a system that allows frum filters to filter out certain things to make it PG for us. It’s mamish Torah. It’s like The Little Midrash Says for sex.
Jewrotica rocks. It’s funny, it’s informative, it’s sexy, it’s interesting. Check it out!
Jewrotica was everything I had dreamed of and more: sexy attendees, tantalizing confessions, and well-written literature to boot! More importantly, it empowers us Jews to reach inside and own our sexy selves and heritage!
I had a great time deejaying at the Jewrotica event at Columbia University. The live readings were hilarious, informative, and in some cases, deeply moving. I know that I, along with many of my AEPi fraternity brothers, loved being able to connect our Judaism and our sexuality in a way that made all of us feel comfortable and welcome. I look forward to being a part of this again in the future!
I love the inclusiveness – there is something for everyone, in and out of the Jewish community.
I attended and participated in last month’s Jewrotica event. The engaging performers and Ayo, our inviting host, inspired the audience to feel like one big community. What a great way to inspire our community to embrace sex as a beautiful thing that can be fun, exciting, sacred, sensual, ridiculous, scary and everything in between!
Bedside Reading with Jewrotica was funny, sexy, and hot all at once. The readings were honest about all kinds of sexuality, but the highlight of the evening was definitely the confessions, written by audience participants. Nobody knew who wrote them, and most were tell-alls that would make your bubbe blush. Unless your bubbe was very, very cool. Then maybe she’d make YOU blush!
Learning about sex and what’s right and wrong when it comes to sex from a Biblical standpoint was an eye opening experience. I completely enjoyed it and think something like this could be a very cool thing to bring to even high school aged Jewish youth groups.
While many people fear the “sex talk,” Jewrotica offers an opportunity for writers and audiences to speak about sexuality in a open and safe space. When I attended a Jewrotica reading, I heard stories that reminded me that love takes many forms, and that expressing it is a vital part of who we are as a people.
The Jewrotica event “Evening of Jewrotica: Bedside Reading” was awesome. As Master of Confessions, I got to read the deepest, darkest secrets of people in the room out loud… It was scintillating, titillating, and – yes – even educational!
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