At This I Draw The Line

At This I Draw the Line

Graphic by Emmarogenous.

Written by Mara Marks, Ph.D. Mara is a first-time Jewrotica writer. Mara’s writing has been featured in The Hairpin, Alimentum, Medium, Pentimento, New America Media, Los Angeles Daily News, LA Business Journal, La Opinion, and various scholarly journals including Urban Affairs Review, Sociological Perspectives, and Political Research Quarterly. She lives with her family in Los Angeles. You can find Mara on Facebook, Twitter, or email her at

Rated PG-13

This is as far as I’m willing to go:
I will call the butcher to order the chicken.
Four pounds, innards removed, tressed.
I will go to the market to buy the chicken.
Also a bag of those little potatoes.
And a shallot.
Some carrots.
I will defrost that loaf of challah taking up space in the freezer.
I will roast the chicken and set the table.
I will set out the candles and the book of matches.
I set at your place the silver kiddush cup you used at our wedding.
I will not set at your place the ancient yarmulke you refuse to wash.
I will put it on the arm of your chair instead.
I will wait patiently while our daughter strikes the match but it fails to light.
I will wait patiently while our daughter strikes the match and it breaks.
I will wait patiently while she strikes the match and lights first one candle and then the other.
I will lose my patience when the flame on the first candle flickers and dies.
I will cover my eyes and recite the blessings.
I will ask if you are enjoying the chicken.
I will thank you for clearing the table and helping to load the dishwasher.
But at this I draw the line:
I will not sit on the couch in the living room while you read me the Torah.
I am going to bed now.
Because it’s time to f-ck.

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