Written by Karalyn Dane. Karalyn, the newest member of the Jewrotica team, is the author of Sweet Dreams.
1. The person carving the turkey is Lord of the table. Though shalt not discuss your new-found vegetarianism as the turkey is being carved, or at least not while he’s holding the knife.
2. You must have no other sexual orientation other than the one everybody already knows about. Trust me, this is not a good time to make any announcements unless you know it will lead to a mazal tov (see commandment #1 re: knife).
3. Do not drink too much, lest yourshikker (drunken) state cause you to reveal too much about your personal life. It is likely you will pay for these slip-ups for a few decades, if not generations.
4. Thou shall be gracious and kind to everyone at the table and not make any sexual innuendos about breasts, thighs, mounds of mashed potatoes, stuffing or gravy.
5. DO NOT bite the hand that feeds you no matter how much you want to.
6. Thou shalt not present any new body piercings or tattoos at the thanksgiving table.
7. Honor you father and mother so that they will continue to help pay for things. Kvetch (complain) too much and they might stop.
8. Do not do anything inappropriate at the table, on the table or under the table, at least until the table has been cleared and everyone has gone to sleep.
9. Do not covet thy sister’s boyfriend, thy brother’s girlfriend, thy cousin, aunt, uncle, niece or nephew, because it is likely you will never live it down nor be allowed to ever forget it and it will likely be the topic of conversation at every future thanksgiving meal so long as you both shall live.
10. Remember that this is your family and no matter how crazy they drive you, you will be going home soon.
Celebrating 10 Years & Marking the End of An Amazing Project
Celebrating 10 Years & Marking the End of An Amazing Project
I love the inclusiveness – there is something for everyone, in and out of the Jewish community.
You may not tell your mom that you’re going to a live Jewrotica reading (or whatever clever name you will dub these events) but you will tell your friends. However, both would be jealous if they find out that they missed it. I think it will only be a matter of time before Jewrotica helps us reclaim the term “Dirty Jew” the way rap music has done for “The ‘N’ Word.” I know I am now proud to be a Dirty Jew!
I’m Heshy Fried from Frum Satire and I am very, very frum. And I completely support Jewrotica – it’s doing a service to the frum community. We need some sort of kosher sexual education. Jewrotica even has a system that allows frum filters to filter out certain things to make it PG for us. It’s mamish Torah. It’s like The Little Midrash Says for sex.
I attended and participated in last month’s Jewrotica event. The engaging performers and Ayo, our inviting host, inspired the audience to feel like one big community. What a great way to inspire our community to embrace sex as a beautiful thing that can be fun, exciting, sacred, sensual, ridiculous, scary and everything in between!
While many people fear the “sex talk,” Jewrotica offers an opportunity for writers and audiences to speak about sexuality in a open and safe space. When I attended a Jewrotica reading, I heard stories that reminded me that love takes many forms, and that expressing it is a vital part of who we are as a people.
The people behind Jewrotica are quite quality! I have confidence that any project these folks take on will be equally quality.
The Jewrotica event “Evening of Jewrotica: Bedside Reading” was awesome. As Master of Confessions, I got to read the deepest, darkest secrets of people in the room out loud… It was scintillating, titillating, and – yes – even educational!
Jewrotica was everything I had dreamed of and more: sexy attendees, tantalizing confessions, and well-written literature to boot! More importantly, it empowers us Jews to reach inside and own our sexy selves and heritage!
I stepped out of my comfort zone to be a part of this. I was glad to open up the topic of sexuality in my community. We are trying to build a safe space to talk about sex. The result I am most happy about coming from this event is that hopefully now my friends know they can come and talk to me, that I can be their ‘safe space’.
Jewrotica is a great way to ask interesting questions about the interplay between sensuality and Jewish wisdom. Check it out.
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