Love consumes you, it electrifies you and makes your blood flow faster, thinner, feather weighted… It devours everything in its path, it fills you and tricks you into believing there’s nothing else. No one else.
No. Love is bullshit. You lose perspective; you lose yourself, you fool. It’s never been real for her, she knows it. All of the people in her life have been there just for fun, nothing more; especially not love.
Are you sure? All of them? I don’t think so.
Oh, hush. She is not listening to the annoying voice in the back of her head. Not right now, when she’s trying to enjoy.
Trying? Not succeeding? Why not?
She is succeeding; shut up. These are not thoughts she wants to dwell on. Not ever, but especially not now. She is quite occupied. Is this really what she wants? Unattached sex? No strings? Yes. That’s why she ended up in his room, after all.
You are attached.
Indeed she is; she is attached to the bed while he fucks her, see the handcuffs? She doesn’t need more attachment than that, she can barely move as it is. Her eyes are covered. Part of the complete experience, he told her, if she wanted it. And why not, what does she have to lose?
Control.
By relinquishing control, she gains other things. Perhaps not love, perhaps not a husband, as apparently is the intention of the ridiculous holiday. But ultimately it doesn’t matter, because that’s not why she’s there. That’s not what she wants. Isn’t it? No. Stop thinking.
But she can’t. She’s feeling it, she really is. The cloth covering her eyes enhances her feelings. But also puts her mind in overdrive.
Fool.
“At hazona sheli!” He whispers, his bearded face mere inches away from her ear.
Ah, he’s a talker. He’s also the groper. What was his name? It doesn’t matter.
What is he saying? That she is sexy, or something. Whatever. It still doesn’t matter. God, he does have great hands. Who needs love with hands like these?
“Merega she’hikarti otach ratziti lezayen otach chazak.” He’s grunting while his hips collide mercilessly against her over and over again.
She hears him, she feels him inside of her; he fills her every inch and she moans to make him continue… so he won’t stop.
His hands are moving. If his tongue is like his hands, she can’t wait for him to shut up and put it to good use. It’s infuriating. Or it should be, but she’s not bothered in the least.
She’s close. She can feel the telltale signs; the warmth in the pit of her stomach, her oversensitive skin, her walls starting to clench around the man. Oh yes, now he is a man.
Her scream makes him come. It always does. Men are so suggestible.
………
“You came,” she hears, thick accent still in place.
“I did.” She’s not sure why, though.
“I’m glad,” he says. “Come in.”
“What is this all about?” She asks, hoping to get an answer this time.
“I told you: love.”
“You don’t have to lie to me, impress me. I’m already here, aren’t I?”
“I’m not,” he assures. “Tu B’Av is about love, romance, courtship, perhaps even finding a husband.” He winks. “It’s a night of full moon.”
“Ah.” Of course. She can read between the lines. Full moon, fertility, sex.
“It is believed that on this day, mystical, enigmatic forces orchestrate lovers to meet.” She barely understands him but his voice is dark, enthralling, and utterly addictive.
“Love is the ultimate surrender,” he says standing behind her.
She feels him wrapping a cloth over her eyes.
………
The initial buzz, the overwhelming desire, the unbridled lust, that’s the first stage of love. It’s hormonal, testosterone and estrogen. Then the attraction deepens; you are stimulated but sedated at the same time, you feel euphoric, confident, aggressive, and hyperactive; it gives you pleasure, it motivates you. Blame the serotonin, dopamine and norepinephrine. The final stage is attachment, oxytocin. You feel content, calm and secure, your trust increases and your fear reduces. You feel powerful, invincible. You feel in love.
Love is a drug. It’s a placebo.
She was right all along. It’s not about love, it never was.
Finally, she thinks as she feels his tongue spreading over her wet folds. This is what it’s all about. Why have love when you can have this?
Right?
Celebrating 10 Years & Marking the End of An Amazing Project
Celebrating 10 Years & Marking the End of An Amazing Project
Jewrotica was everything I had dreamed of and more: sexy attendees, tantalizing confessions, and well-written literature to boot! More importantly, it empowers us Jews to reach inside and own our sexy selves and heritage!
What an incredible night Jewrotica was!!!! There was this fantastic moment, in a sea of Jews of all sexualities, ages, backgrounds and denominations, that I realized we were all in this together! I hope that there are many more events coming to Austin soon!
I stepped out of my comfort zone to be a part of this. I was glad to open up the topic of sexuality in my community. We are trying to build a safe space to talk about sex. The result I am most happy about coming from this event is that hopefully now my friends know they can come and talk to me, that I can be their ‘safe space’.
You may not tell your mom that you’re going to a live Jewrotica reading (or whatever clever name you will dub these events) but you will tell your friends. However, both would be jealous if they find out that they missed it. I think it will only be a matter of time before Jewrotica helps us reclaim the term “Dirty Jew” the way rap music has done for “The ‘N’ Word.” I know I am now proud to be a Dirty Jew!
Learning about sex and what’s right and wrong when it comes to sex from a Biblical standpoint was an eye opening experience. I completely enjoyed it and think something like this could be a very cool thing to bring to even high school aged Jewish youth groups.
Such an amazing experience! The Sarah Lawrence Jewrotica workshop was more than I could have ever expected – a comfortable, safe, sultry environment where participants clearly felt good about sharing or listening to each other’s intimate experiences and relating them to sexy stories from the Torah. From the moment the workshop began, Ayo had a sweet presence that was kinetic and spread around the room; her storytelling abilities had everyone enraptured and made the conversation topics relata… Read more
Jewrotica is something that the community has needed for a long time so that people can actually learn, express and share and have good relationships without having to stumble through life. Check out the site and learn something. Have fun!
I love the inclusiveness – there is something for everyone, in and out of the Jewish community.
I’m so glad that Jewrotica is represented here at Jewlicious! It’s bringing voices that need to be heard in the Jewish discussion and Jewish climate environment.
I had a great time deejaying at the Jewrotica event at Columbia University. The live readings were hilarious, informative, and in some cases, deeply moving. I know that I, along with many of my AEPi fraternity brothers, loved being able to connect our Judaism and our sexuality in a way that made all of us feel comfortable and welcome. I look forward to being a part of this again in the future!
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