But the prohibition isn’t based on physical (or even romantic) benefits. It’s based on the concept of “Niddah” – the idea that there is a spiritual impurity that a woman acquires during her period. This impurity stays with her until she immerses in a mikvah. (For the record – men acquire a sexual-related spiritual impurity as well. That’s a story for another column.) According to Torah tradition, the impurity is purely spiritual – the prohibition is not for physical cleanliness. Judaism teaches that physical uncleanliness often follows spiritual uncleanliness – but the prohibition is, at its core, for spiritual benefit.
For more in-depth details on niddah, a local rabbi can be helpful. Feel free to contact me at elissa@makeoutlabs.com to connect you to someone nearby. For more info, this article goes into more detail about the Orthodox/Kabbalistic perspective on niddah.
Of course many non-religious Jews and people that don’t practice “family purity” manage to have exciting long-term, monogamous sex lives. However, Niddah acts as a systematic method of keeping intimacy “fresh” in a marriage. I know secular couples who go months without having sex and I know religious couples who have a standing post-mikvah “date-night” where they get physically reacquainted in anticipation of, well… booty time! Of course I can’t cite much rabbinic discussion on this ancillary effect of said scriptural prohibitions Leon, but I’m sure you can see how that all works quite well.
In conclusion, I’d just like to quote a paragraph from the introduction to the book Total Immersion by Rivkah Slonim who is the education director at the Chabad Center for Jewish Student Life at Binghamton University:
Over the course of a lifetime, open ended sexual availability may well lead to a waning of excitement and even interest. The monthly hiatus teaches couples to treasure the time they have together and gives them something to look forward to when they are apart. Every month they are separated not always when convenient or easy – but they wait for one another. They think about each other and how it is when they can be physical – all the while counting the days until their togetherness – and each time there is a new quality to their reunion. In this regard the Talmud states: “So that she will be as beloved as on the day of her marriage.”
Who is going to argue with that?
“If a woman sees a snake and does not know whether it has turned its attention to her or not, let her remove her garments and throw them in front of it; if it winds itself around them, its mind is upon her; if not, its mind is not upon her. What can she do? She should cohabit [with her husband] in front of it. Others say, That will even strengthen its instincts. Rather she should take some of her hair and nails and throw them at it and say, ‘I am menstruous.’”— Babylonian Talmud, Tractate Shabbath 110a Soncino 1961 Edition, page 535
Projecting their own attitudes onto the snake, the rabbis believe it would be repulsed by a niddah. But what threat does the snake offer the woman? Of course, a venomous snake might bite the woman, but the rabbis’ explanation continues in the following:
“If a snake enters a woman, let her spread her legs and place them on two barrels; fat meat must be brought and cast on the burning coals; a basket of cress must be brought together with fragrant wine and placed there, and be well beaten together. They should take a pair of tongs in their hand, for when it smells the fragrance it will come out, so that it can be seized and burnt in the fire, as otherwise it will re-enter.”
— Babylonian Talmud, Tractate Shabbath 110a Soncino 1961 Edition, page 536
The danger, apparently, is that the snake will crawl up the woman’s vagina and take up lodging. Remember the dreadful “Garden of Eden evacuation”?:
טו וְאֵיבָה אָשִׁית, בֵּינְךָ וּבֵין הָאִשָּׁה, וּבֵין זַרְעֲךָ, וּבֵין זַרְעָהּ: הוּא יְשׁוּפְךָ רֹאשׁ, וְאַתָּה תְּשׁוּפֶנּוּ עָקֵב.
“And I will put enmity between thee and the woman, and between thy seed and her seed; they shall bruise thy head, and thou shalt bruise their heel.” (Genesis 3:15)
It is difficult to separate the snake from its deeply ingrained phallic symbolism. Menstrual blood repels the snake in this story, representing the power of menstrual blood to ward off male advances.
God means business… Shabbat Shalom, y’all!
Celebrating 10 Years & Marking the End of An Amazing Project
Celebrating 10 Years & Marking the End of An Amazing Project
I stepped out of my comfort zone to be a part of this. I was glad to open up the topic of sexuality in my community. We are trying to build a safe space to talk about sex. The result I am most happy about coming from this event is that hopefully now my friends know they can come and talk to me, that I can be their ‘safe space’.
I’m into Jewrotica. I went in for my second circumcision.
The people behind Jewrotica are quite quality! I have confidence that any project these folks take on will be equally quality.
Jewrotica is inspiring Jews and erotica with holiness and coolness, and is the pride of progressive Judaism. Jewrotica – awesome!
I’m Heshy Fried from Frum Satire and I am very, very frum. And I completely support Jewrotica – it’s doing a service to the frum community. We need some sort of kosher sexual education. Jewrotica even has a system that allows frum filters to filter out certain things to make it PG for us. It’s mamish Torah. It’s like The Little Midrash Says for sex.
I love the inclusiveness – there is something for everyone, in and out of the Jewish community.
You may not tell your mom that you’re going to a live Jewrotica reading (or whatever clever name you will dub these events) but you will tell your friends. However, both would be jealous if they find out that they missed it. I think it will only be a matter of time before Jewrotica helps us reclaim the term “Dirty Jew” the way rap music has done for “The ‘N’ Word.” I know I am now proud to be a Dirty Jew!
My opinion on Jewrotica is: It’s sexy. It’s awesome. It’s Judaism to the next level. It’s what we should all be getting into!
The Jewrotica event “Evening of Jewrotica: Bedside Reading” was awesome. As Master of Confessions, I got to read the deepest, darkest secrets of people in the room out loud… It was scintillating, titillating, and – yes – even educational!
I’m so glad that Jewrotica is represented here at Jewlicious! It’s bringing voices that need to be heard in the Jewish discussion and Jewish climate environment.
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