Dear Jewrotica #5 – Double Points on the Sabbath

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Dear Jewrotica Staff Responses2

Elissa Shevinsky

Elissa Shevinsky

Some say that it’s simple mathematics – it’s a mitzvah for husband and wife to be intimate (assuming the wife has been to the mikvah and it’s her permitted time – that’s another column!). It’s also a mitzvah to experience oneg – or joy – on Shabbos. So, two mitzvahs. For a scriptural reference – Rambam Shabbat 30:14 lists intimacy between husband and wife as an “oneg” based on B. Ketuvot 7a.

Rabbi Yonah thought it was worthwhile to clarify the question. He says, “It’s not points, it’s holiness.” He believes that the union of a married couple on Shabbos is parallel and linked to the union of the Jewish people with God.

Rabbi Yohan also noted that there is a passage in the Igeret HaKodesh supporting the concept that sexual union can also mean spiritual elevation. Shabbos is already a time of spiritual elevation. So – double elevation.

Said the leader of a modern shul in downtown Manhattan: I don’t know how God keeps score on such things but it’s certainly more, um, “efficient.”

Says Rabbi Rachel Barenblat (aka the Velveteen Rabbi) “More oneg FTW.”

Elissa is a content partner and the founder of the new free Jewish dating site, JSpot. Check it out!

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David Abitbol

The scriptural source for Oneg Shabbat (Sabbath pleasure) is in Isaiah where it says “and call the Sabbath a delight” (Isaiah 58:13).

Having sex any time is a mitzvah. It’s a double mitzvah on Shabbat because it adds to the pleasure (Oneg) of Shabbat. It’s the same thing as eating good food on Shabbat – that’s also a double mitzvah. This obviously does not count for Gefilte Fish which we (the Sephardic Jews) hold to be a gastronomic abomination.

I should add that this does not apply to a man consummating his Marriage on Shabbat with a virgin bride. That isn’t permitted because in tearing the hymen one is making a wound. It’s a rollicking discussion in the Gemara, you can look it up in Ketubot 6a and 6b.

Then there are some that wonder if sex in fact should not be allowed on the Sabbath because it is a “Melachah” – one of the 39 acts of labor/creation forbidden on the Sabbath (defined as such because these were used to build the Mishkan). What Melachas might one think are involved in sex and procreation? Well there’s “Zeriah” or “Planting.” Yes, a man does “seed” a woman during sex but the reference is purely agricultural. Then there’s “Molid” or “Creating” but that’s only a Melachah if it meets 3 criteria – the creation is to occur directly as a result of an action or actions – it is highly likely that the act will cause the creation and – the act is being done solely for the purpose of creating. Thus pleasurable sex clearly doesn’t apply here. But still, it’s always enlightening to contemplate these otherwise silly notions.

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Ayo Oppenheimer

I always thought that the language of Double Mitzvah connected back to “lechem mishnah”, the double portion of bread that we make the Hamotzi blessing on and consume at each Sabbath meal. When the Jews were wandering in the desert and dependent on the largess of God’s manna that fell from the sky, the people collected a double portion on Fridays so that they would not need to toil and collect on the Sabbath. Our tradition of serving two challah breads on the Sabbath is to remind us of the double portion of mannah.

So, how does this tie into sex? I’d be lying if I said that I was sure, but the idea of having double pleasure and double food on the Sabbath is not a premise that I am inclined to argue with!

Dr. Limor

Dr. Limor

Beloved team members, I’m not much of a ‘Talmida Chachama‘ (studious scholar). If anything, I am a pretty promiscuous student, given my occupation 😉 Nonetheless, I’m aware that the Shulchan Aruch Orach Chaim 280:1 (a codice of Jewish law) mentions this:

תשמיש המטה מתענוגי שבת הוא, לפיכך עונת תלמידי חכמים הבריאים מליל שבת לליל שבת.‏

Marital relations are among the delights (“oneg”) of Shabbat, and therefore the time for marital relations for a healthy Torah scholar is from Friday night to Friday night.

AND, I’m familiar with an Ebook called Double Mitzvah by Erica DeQuaya, pretty steamy stuff…

Are you still here?? It’s almost Friday..;)

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Dear Jewrotica is an advice column hosted by the Jewrotica staff. We answer questions about sex, sexual health, relationships, romance and other topics as they relate to the Jewish community, culture and tradition. Confidentiality is respected, and we'll do our best to tackle your questions with knowledge, sensitivity and tact.

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