Dear Jewrotica #4 – Masturbation

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Dear Jewrotica Staff Responses2

Elissa Shevinsky

Elissa Shevinsky

Your situation is more common than you may realize. Whether it’s getting used to wearing a condom or feeling pressure to perform, it can sometimes be easier to just rub one out yourself. Jewish sexuality – at least as the rabbis discuss it – is very much about making your partner happy. Your partner probably just wants to feel normal and know that you’re into her. If you make sure she feels special, you guys can probably work out who comes when and how. 😉 Plus, this could be a blessing in disguise. A guy who can go all night can be more valuable than pearls.

Elissa is a content partner and the founder of the new free Jewish dating site, JSpot. Check it out!

Leora Flax

Leora Flax

How would you feel about involving your partner in your masturbation practices? Watch porno together and masturbate together. From there, you can slowly start to include her. She can take over for you in masturbation, you can get each other off. If she’s into it, you might even try roleplay: act out your fantasy or favorite porn and see how it feels.

Above all, stay calm and keep talking–if you put lots of pressure on yourself to achieve orgasm during sex, you may freak out and get in your own way. Also, assure your partner often that it’s nothing personal at ALL, and that you find her very attractive and sexy. Make sure she’s open and on board for anything you may want to try, so that everyone is comfortable AND sexually satisfied. Good luck!

team_david

David Abitbol

I agree with Elissa and Leora. I just want to add that sometimes, difficulty in achieving orgasm during sex might be a side effect of psychological or physiological issues. For instance, certain prescription drugs like antidepressants make it more difficult to for men to get to O Town. If you are taking medication, talk to your physician to see if these might be the cause of your issues. In other cases, difficulty in achieving orgasm might be related to intimacy issues, in which case a good sex therapist can help you with personalized strategies aimed at building up intimacy with your partner. For instance, if your partner is up for it, you may want to try using porn and masturbating and then, just before climaxing, you may want to try having sex to fruition. Done with care and sensitivity this can help a great deal.

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Dear Jewrotica is an advice column hosted by the Jewrotica staff. We answer questions about sex, sexual health, relationships, romance and other topics as they relate to the Jewish community, culture and tradition. Confidentiality is respected, and we'll do our best to tackle your questions with knowledge, sensitivity and tact.
  • “I agree with Elissa and Leora.” SUCH a kiss ass with THE LADIES, Dudu.