The Many Flavors of Pleasure

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A106 sex with j

Do you know what the body’s largest sex organ is?

If you guessed the skin, you are correct! To enhance your pleasure, get to know the skin you are in. If you know what pleases you, you will be more prepared to share with your partner how you want to be touched. One way to learn more about how you can receive the most pleasure is through a technique called body mapping. This can be done with or without a partner.

Body mapping is an exploratory tour of your body (every square inch) to discover the most sensitive parts. In the process of discovery, your job is to find out how you like to be touched-hard, soft, feathery, firm. You may also discover that there are certain types of contact you like in some areas more than others, such as kissing, rubbing, being blown on, pinched, or rubbed. You may want to also experiment with lube and/or a vibrator while reading Jewrotica.

Pay attention to how your body responds. For example, what parts tingle or become more sensitive during this exploration? In her 2010 book Women’s Anatomy of Arousal, sex therapist Sheri Winston says, “Many of the most wonderful parts of your genital system will only become evident when they’re aroused, producing the delightful swelling called engorgement.” In other words, through this technique of self or partnered arousal, we can discover pleasure spots that we didn’t even know we had. This essential technique sets the foundation for completely knowing how you enjoy being touched. It is an important first step to knowing yourself and building a pleasurable sexual relationship with a partner.

Do you know what the body’s most important sex organ is?

If you guessed the brain, you are correct! The brain is responsible for interpreting our five senses-sight, hearing, touch, smell, and taste. Therefore, when it comes to sex and pleasure, the brain can play a big part in heightening our sensations. For example, something as simple as whispering something sexy in your partner’s ear can initiate the sexual response cycle. This is a term for describing the phases our bodies go through in response to sexual stimulation, and it is often associated with stimuli from the five senses.

The desire phase (the first phase in the cycle) begins in response to various sensual stimuli, which come in a wide assortment of possibilities. This phase can last a long time-hours to days…even months. To enhance sexual pleasure, take your time to build and foster the desire. The earlier you or your partner start preparing for great sex, the more likely you will both start feeling sexually aroused. In fact, why not start planning right now? Instead of bringing your partner flowers, chocolate, or sexy lingerie when you see him or her, send them a few hours before you arrive (these items work just as well for men as they do for women!). The anticipation can be a great turn on. Just thinking about sex in advance can set you and your partner into the second stage of the sexual response cycle: excitement.

Here are some more ideas for getting each other in the mood using the five senses to build desire:

  1. Send your lover little love notes during the day-for example, “Be prepared because tonight is going to blow your mind.”
  2. Create two new email accounts that ONLY you and your partner will use. Give the email accounts sexy names. This is a great way to share your fantasies with each other from time to time.
  3. Greet your partner naked when he or she comes to the door.
  4. Visit a “romance” store or go online and buy a (new) sex toy, such as a vibrator or dildo.
  5. Create your own “coupon card” that says, “This entitles you to one blow job” or any other creative sensual message.
  6. Some people spend a lot of time planning what to wear for a date or night out. Put the same effort into buying or wearing lingerie to set the mood for what’s to come next.
  7. Spray a small amount of your lover’s favorite cologne or perfume on your neck and present it to him or her for sniff. Then say something like, “You’ll have to wait until later to find out where else I smell like that.”
  8. Setting the right mood is an important part of creating a romantic or sensual space for you and your partner to feel at ease. With some props, you can transform your bedroom into your own oasis. Take the time to find the right music (soundscape, jazz, hip hop, blues) and pay attention to the sensations in your body. Don’t forget to light a few candles.
  9. Become familiar with the various scents of essential oils to find one that both you and your partner enjoy. Once you find a favorite, be sure to keep it close by so it’s ready to go.
  10. Watch porn together or – if that option does not work for you – read a racy story such as Jewrotica Fantasies – Lilith, Jewrotica Fantasies – Danielle or Mikvah Night, Part II.

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Mara Yacobi is a Certified Sexuality Educator, Licensed Social Worker and Founder of JLove and Values. Mara lives in New Jersey with her family and dreams of becoming a talk show host and finding more hours in the day.