Dear Jewrotica #3 – Halachic Positions

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Dear Jewrotica Feet

Rated RDear Jewrotica,

I come from a mostly secular upbringing and lifestyle. I feel a deep, personal connection to Judaism, nevertheless I am accepting of the fact that the kind of Jewish communities where I would feel entirely at home probably don’t exist. I have been moving toward a greater degree of observance and have been seeking a congregation that is at least close enough to what I need. I thought I had found it at a modern orthodox congregation in the suburbs of a major metropolitan area, but apparently I had not.

The general consensus among “off the derech” types in this area is that there is a high degree of correlation between sexual repression and observance. So I’m not doing myself any favors hanging out to the right of “traditional” conservadoxy. As a reasonably well-educated student of Marxist critiques of the contemporary capitalist paradigm, and an environmentalist who struggles to keep from seeing suburbia as a hopelessly lost cause, I’m seeing how commodity fetishism is so pervasive in suburbia, and that yes, indeed, sexual repression among these suburban modern orthodoxists is not only problematic but may make it impossible to meet and successfully woo an appropriate mate.

Moreover, there are practical issues such as positions. I find 69 an excellent method of simultaneously giving and receiving pleasure. It’s a tremendously communicative position when with the right partner. But according to halacha, it’s not kosher, right?

My penis bends downward, so even though the missionary position is fine for me both physically and for face-to-face emotional connection, it ain’t gonna be hittin’ much for her. Doggy style has always been good for the women I’ve been with, and it’s great for when the need is for a good, physical fuck but not so great for when there’s more of a romantic, love-making mood in the air.

Is kosher sex always limited to those positions in which the male ejaculates in the vagina and nowhere else?

~ Daniel

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Dear Jewrotica is an advice column hosted by the Jewrotica staff. We answer questions about sex, sexual health, relationships, romance and other topics as they relate to the Jewish community, culture and tradition. Confidentiality is respected, and we'll do our best to tackle your questions with knowledge, sensitivity and tact.