Have a Sexy Hanukkah!

Rated PGThe title of this post is a bit of a goof because there really isn’t anything “sexy” per se about Hanukkah. There’s an obscure tradition whereby some people eat cheese during Hanukkah – this relates to the story of Judith. Judith you’ll recall, saved the Jews from a marauding army by seducing the army’s general Holofernes. Once taken to his tent, she plied him with cheese and wine until he fell asleep, at which point she lopped off his head. The sight of their headless leader caused the aforementioned marauding army to panic and retreat in fear, and the Jews were saved. That’s a great story, but it’s not exactly what I personally would call “sexy.”

However, the lack of a sexy context hasn’t stopped the makers of Hanukkah themed videos! A couple of years ago, Chevonne, one of Lady Gaga’s backup singers, wrote a song (and accompanying over the top video) called my Menorah that begins with these lines “Baby, you got my heart racing. Haven’t felt this way since my Bat Mitzvah day. Now I’m a woman, ready for a Festival of Nights. I’ll hot oil you up and dance like a hora. You might think this is a one-night stand, but I’mma make it last for 8… at least…” Oy! Right?

This year we have a new entry in the form of a classic torch song by Michelle Citrin, of Rosh Hashana Girl fame. What Hanukkah Lovin’ lacks in holiday context, it more than makes up for by the romantic lyrics sung in smoldering fashion by Citrin:

I wipe the jelly
from the corner of your lip
As you proudly spin
the dreidel on its tip
And after too many bags
of Hanukkah gelt
We decide that it’s alright
to loosen our belts.
In the window
you can only see a glow
All the colored candles burning
down real low
Our silhouettes are swaying
At a lovers’ pace
Ma’oz Tzur is playing as we embrace

I guess the bottom line is that the Festival of Lights traditionally takes place on the coldest days of the year, when the days are short and the nights are long. We light the Hanukkah candles in part, in order to banish the dark, but what better way is there to to banish the cold than to find oneself in a lover’s embrace?

In any case, on behalf of myself and all the people that make Jewrotica happen day in and day out, have a happy and love filled Hanukkah!

Founder and editor of Jewlicious, David enjoys contemplating thought provoking issues and terrorizing Jerusalem pedestrians and drivers with his mountain bike. He is not a gun runner nor is he a member of any crime family.