“Oh shit,” he looked down at his shirt, vaguely surprised, then back at his cousin, “Hey Shaindy, goodtseeya, goodtseeya.” He put down his plate and grabbed Sydney into a rib cracking bear hug. Sydney hugged him back; smelling what she was pretty sure was pot. Zolly’s wife approached, hauling a toddler with one hand and a heaping plate of food in the other. She had a bit of a weight problem as well. Zolly released Sydney so she could say hello to Nancy.
“Hi Nancy! Your baby is so cute! What’s his name? How old is he now?” Sydney never knew what to say in these baby situations.
“He’s almost two, and he’s a monster.”
Sydney checked Nancy’s face to see if she was joking, but couldn’t tell. She looked down, wanting to say something to the kid, but his gaze was fixed on something of great interest on the floor and Sydney realized that she still had no idea what his name was. She turned back to Nancy, “Ah, but he’s cute, and hey, you did it. Married, baby, you got it all going on.”
“To tell the truth,” Nancy lowered her voice, “the hardest part about having a baby was not being able to get high for nine months.”
Sydney stared at Zolly’s wife. While she was formulating a suitable response (none came), her mother, Aunt Mildred, and Aunt Sadie pushed their way toward them, forming a closed circle.
“So Shaindy,” started Sadie. Sydney studied her aunt, a human safety pin, all rounded edges hiding sharp points. “I hear you have a house in the country, in Connecticut.” She exaggerated Connecticut, pronouncing it the way it was spelled, laboring over the Connect. “A house, a fancy job,” she looked meaningfully at Sydney, “but it must be lonely, all alone like that, in the country.”
“She’s seeing somebody, a nice man, rich, handsome, in bras…” Sydney’s mother offered helpfully.
That was when Sydney snapped. “Oh, yes, my house in the country. It’s on a lake, I love it. In fact, you should all come. We’ll have a family circle, like when we were kids. All the cousins, Sunday after next, we’ll have a barbeque and go swimming, everyone is invited. Everyone.” A demon had taken control of her brain, and she beamed dementedly. Goldie looked triumphantly at her two sisters-in-laws. “My Shaindy is always so generous, so gracious. Nu, so you’ll come, a day in the country.”
Later, Esti caught up with Sydney as she was getting ready to leave. “Hey Shaindy, Mom is going around telling everyone that you’re having some party at your house?”
“Yeah, I kind of invited all of them.” Just then Esti and Sydney jumped, blinded by a camera flash. They turned, and a short potbellied bald man slithered around them, lining up another shot. The camera was angled oddly, focused on their breasts. “Even him,” Sydney sighed, tilting her head in his direction. The so called photographer was yet another cousin through marriage. The relationship was fuzzy.
Esti turned her back to him. “Why would you do that to yourself?”
Why indeed? Turning as well, Sydney looked at her sister, “I don’t know Esti. I think I just got sick of them treating me like I’m a loser cause I’m not married. Maybe I lost my mind a little?”
“A little.” Esti smiled. “I’ll bring some cookies.”
By the time Sydney got home early that evening, her message light was blinking. It was Goldie, who kept calling throughout the week to discuss the menu and to list more people for Sydney to invite. “My house isn’t all that big,” Sydney tried to interrupt.
“Don’t worry, there’s always enough space for family.”
Celebrating 10 Years & Marking the End of An Amazing Project
Celebrating 10 Years & Marking the End of An Amazing Project
I’m into Jewrotica. I went in for my second circumcision.
Jewrotica is inspiring Jews and erotica with holiness and coolness, and is the pride of progressive Judaism. Jewrotica – awesome!
You may not tell your mom that you’re going to a live Jewrotica reading (or whatever clever name you will dub these events) but you will tell your friends. However, both would be jealous if they find out that they missed it. I think it will only be a matter of time before Jewrotica helps us reclaim the term “Dirty Jew” the way rap music has done for “The ‘N’ Word.” I know I am now proud to be a Dirty Jew!
Jewrotica is something that the community has needed for a long time so that people can actually learn, express and share and have good relationships without having to stumble through life. Check out the site and learn something. Have fun!
I attended and participated in last month’s Jewrotica event. The engaging performers and Ayo, our inviting host, inspired the audience to feel like one big community. What a great way to inspire our community to embrace sex as a beautiful thing that can be fun, exciting, sacred, sensual, ridiculous, scary and everything in between!
Bedside Reading with Jewrotica was funny, sexy, and hot all at once. The readings were honest about all kinds of sexuality, but the highlight of the evening was definitely the confessions, written by audience participants. Nobody knew who wrote them, and most were tell-alls that would make your bubbe blush. Unless your bubbe was very, very cool. Then maybe she’d make YOU blush!
I love the inclusiveness – there is something for everyone, in and out of the Jewish community.
Such an amazing experience! The Sarah Lawrence Jewrotica workshop was more than I could have ever expected – a comfortable, safe, sultry environment where participants clearly felt good about sharing or listening to each other’s intimate experiences and relating them to sexy stories from the Torah. From the moment the workshop began, Ayo had a sweet presence that was kinetic and spread around the room; her storytelling abilities had everyone enraptured and made the conversation topics relata… Read more
I’m so glad that Jewrotica is represented here at Jewlicious! It’s bringing voices that need to be heard in the Jewish discussion and Jewish climate environment.
Jewrotica is a great way to ask interesting questions about the interplay between sensuality and Jewish wisdom. Check it out.
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