The next morning, as sunlight stuttered through the curtains of my dorm room, I surfaced from an empty heavy dream. I thought of Sami carefully, waiting to see if thoughts of him would bring pain, or the soft ache of a bruise, but they did not. And then, getting out of bed and moving through the day I found myself stacking all of the Jewish parts of my life up around me in a way that left no space for him.
It felt a little bit like cheating, telling myself I couldn’t be with him because I was too invested in the Talmud, and the Bible, and the rabbis and rebbetzins who taught my classes, but it was the only reason I could think of most of the time. Had I been using him without really knowing it? I didn’t think so, but the trembling sweetness in my stomach didn’t come back again. When the window on my cell phone announced that Sami was calling, I didn’t feel excited or nervous the way I had when he’d called before. Instead I caught myself forcing an enthusiasm that wouldn’t come, like when I’d gotten acceptance letters from colleges I didn’t really want to go to anyway.
After a few days Sami stopped calling.
That weekend Uncle David took me out to dinner with his girlfriend, a blonde Russian woman named Natasha. We went to a steakhouse and were served big pink slabs of beef that seemed to grow and pulse in the dim restaurant light. I ate slowly, and allowed a few sips of red wine to soften the edges of my thoughts. Afterwards we walked together back to the center of town and Uncle David and his girlfriend spoke to each other in rapid low Hebrew.
As we reached the bottom of Shamai Street Natasha laughed softly and my uncle smiled, pulling her against his side. “What am I going to do with you?” he said. A cab was stopped on the street in front of us, and I tried to look inside, catching a glimpse of an unfamiliar face before the traffic light turned green and the car accelerated away.
Celebrating 10 Years & Marking the End of An Amazing Project
Celebrating 10 Years & Marking the End of An Amazing Project
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My opinion on Jewrotica is: It’s sexy. It’s awesome. It’s Judaism to the next level. It’s what we should all be getting into!
I love the inclusiveness – there is something for everyone, in and out of the Jewish community.
The people behind Jewrotica are quite quality! I have confidence that any project these folks take on will be equally quality.
I’m Heshy Fried from Frum Satire and I am very, very frum. And I completely support Jewrotica – it’s doing a service to the frum community. We need some sort of kosher sexual education. Jewrotica even has a system that allows frum filters to filter out certain things to make it PG for us. It’s mamish Torah. It’s like The Little Midrash Says for sex.
Jewrotica is a great way to ask interesting questions about the interplay between sensuality and Jewish wisdom. Check it out.
You may not tell your mom that you’re going to a live Jewrotica reading (or whatever clever name you will dub these events) but you will tell your friends. However, both would be jealous if they find out that they missed it. I think it will only be a matter of time before Jewrotica helps us reclaim the term “Dirty Jew” the way rap music has done for “The ‘N’ Word.” I know I am now proud to be a Dirty Jew!
Jewrotica is awesome. It expands the mind and for people who were raised with narrow views on sexuality. Whether you are Jewish or not, or in different sects of Judaism like Orthodox, Conservative or Reform, no matter what your background or where you’re from, Jewrotica gets you to see Judaism and how it relates to sexuality in new ways. I really appreciate Ayo being here and helping us learn different ways to connect with our sexuality.
Jewrotica was everything I had dreamed of and more: sexy attendees, tantalizing confessions, and well-written literature to boot! More importantly, it empowers us Jews to reach inside and own our sexy selves and heritage!
Learning about sex and what’s right and wrong when it comes to sex from a Biblical standpoint was an eye opening experience. I completely enjoyed it and think something like this could be a very cool thing to bring to even high school aged Jewish youth groups.
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