Dirty Talk at the GA – The Top 12 Double Entendres Overheard in Baltimore

GA Piece

Written by Benji Lovitt.  Benji, a comedian and blogger for the Times of Israel, is a first-time Jewrotica writer. PG-13

Tuesday concluded the Jewish Federations of North America’s General Assembly 2012.  As always, it was a fantastic event showcasing the best that the Jewish community has to offer.

To get the most out of the GA, you’ll need to know your buzzwords.  In case you missed it, here are the top twelve double entendres overheard in Baltimore in 2012.

12. After interacting with my lay leader, I am confident that I could get behind that.

11. How could you not be impressed by the size of his generous endowment?

10. Given the people watching, his ability to present exceeded all expectations.

9. Only with maximum impact can I fully take advantage of his assets.

8. I’ll be in the media room checking out his briefs.

7. At the schmooze event, I was able to connect with multiple willing partners for collaboration.

6. Check out that guy’s junk under the table.

Stop staring at my junk.

5. Not only was the plenary much longer than expected, it left me with a bad taste in my mouth.

4. In the last session, we learned how to penetrate the community through the back door.

3. I wish he’d demonstrated more leadership when switching positions.

2. She invited me into her big tent with promises of engagement.

1. Next year, it’ll be hotter in Israel.

See you at the General Assembly 2013!

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  • Classic. I am very involved in the acrobatic yoga / partner yoga community in Austin, and double entendres are (inadvertently) ALWAYS present.

    Last weekend, I was at a Saturday night jam. I had been playing for hours, balancing shoulderstands on people’s feet and working on handstands on people’s hands. I was just about ready to head home when this gem of a conversation happened:

    Bobby: Ayo!!! I didn’t get a chance to play with you. Stay for a few minutes? What do you want to work on?

    Ayo: Bobby, I’d love to play with you. I’m getting kind of tired and don’t want to make any decisions right now, but – as long as you take charge – you can do whatever you want with me.

    My two friends looked up with raised eyebrows and goofy smiles, and I started to blush. But in acro, it’s impossible for most things NOT to be double entendres!

  • I LOVE this. The GA is such a hilarious event, though not intentionally.