Sex, Not Porn

Cindy Gallop Article 2

Rated RWritten by Adam Elbaz. Adam is Jewrotica’s Director of Author and Cultural Outreach. Please be advised that this article contains explicit language.

This article was fascinating for a number of reasons.

Gallop confounds our perception of middle-aged women as sexless moms without resorting to the infuriating and ridiculous “cougar” cliché; her matter-of-factness about her desires and experiences is refreshing. The woman isn’t posturing; there’s no self-consciously aggressive bravado, just a bare-bones acknowledgement that This Is The Circumstance (dating younger men) and This Is The Problem Said Circumstance Creates (younger men’s sexual expectations are skewed and problematic thanks to the proliferation of accessible hardcore pornography.) This matter-of-factness goes a long way when you’re talking about sex.

Watching real people having sex on websites such as https://www.porn7.xxx/ and hdpornt.com is an excellent way to normalize what is perhaps the most mythologized facet of the human experience. America’s public sexual culture falls into two camps: media that paints sex in soft-focus, suggesting it is always a rapturous union of two loving (heterosexual) souls, and the hardcore porn that suggests that every woman benefits from:

a) silicone in her chest

b) all the cock, all the time

But–as any thinking person soon realizes–sex in real life is often nothing like that. It just goes to show how well produced the films on websites such as www.videoshd.xxx are. To imply that there is anything monolithic or universally applicable about sex is to misunderstand it, and human psychology, completely.

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  • Adi, you make a number of excellent points. I agree with you that projects like this may ultimately normalize sex (and diversity within sex) in a healthy way. Further, they counteract the perhaps unrealistic sexual expectations that traditional pornography presents. In that sense, I give this project the thumbs up.

    Yet I wonder, do people have the attention spans for non-glitzed, non-perfected, perhaps slow and non-performance based sex? It’s a nice idea, but I wonder how many people will have the patience or inkling to watch these pieces when hot, bothered and ready for a fix.

    Separately, when it comes to pornography (and to many things in life), there is the question of how quickly the provocative and titillating may become the new normal and blase. Whether it’s a kink activity, a strip tease or even violence on TV, the more we see things, the less of an effect they tend to have on us. So – even if this project is a step in the “right” direction toward normalizing sex – do we still do ourselves a disservice by exposing ourselves to sex and nudity? Does being regularly exposed to these images have the potential to make sex and nudity less powerful in our own bedrooms?

    Maybe. Maybe not. These questions are almost reminiscent of the public vs. private arguments for and against Jewrotica’s existence, so perhaps it boils down to personal preference and individual sensitivities. Thoughts?

    • Anonymous Internet Commenter

      Takin a stab at your questions, Miss Ayo. Porn isn’t going away, ever. So doesn’t it make sense to counter what we see with something….good? Nurturing? Healthy, even? Even if overexposure makes us less inclined to be titillated (and quite frankly, I’m not sure that it does), we live in an over-exposed, media/porn-saturated culture. Why not let some of that saturation be something less than invidious?

  • Alli

    Awesome thought, has a lot of truth in it.

  • Even though I fully agree with you, porn is made to sell, and big boobs, white females, cum-in-the-face is what the public wants. Why? I have no idea. I have tried a few times to watch porn, but I get easily bored with the little appeal those stereotypes has to me. So maybe we should create a Jewrotica team to make some for-women-by-women porn; I know I would enjoy it.