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Kiruv 1

Written by Shayna Abramson. To read Shayna’s essay on the the practice of shomer negiah within the Orthodox Jewish community, check out her article in the Jewrotica Reflections section.

PG-13Shmuley had been training for this assignment for months. Every morning, he had listened to shiurim by the rebbe on his way to the school where the eighth-grade boys he taught Bible to had jerk-off contests in the bathroom. Every night, he had read from the Ten Commandments before going to sleep.

Only when he felt Esther’s palm at the nape of his neck would he close his book and turn off the light. The rabbis had decreed that a man should not see his woman naked – who knew what flaws he might find? Better to feel for each other’s flesh in the dark, like humans trying to find the Light of God in this world of darkness. That’s what it was all about anyway, divesting our world of its physical shell that blinded. He told this to Esther sometimes, while he was peeling potatoes and she was seasoning the chicken, but she just shook her head.

Once, she asked, “If you’re supposed to be getting rid of the physical, why do you like sex?” He hadn’t really had an answer, but he had trouble keeping it up for two weeks after that. By then, Esther had her period and they couldn’t touch each other anyway, so it was time for a little visit to sites like and similar.

Of course, the main part had not been listening to the lectures, but rather getting permission from the rabbi.

“You are going there to enlighten these people?”

Shmuley nodded.

“And they’re all yids, the entire nudist colony?”

“I think they’re just seeking a connection.”

The rabbi stroked his beard. His chin was unfortunately shaped a bit like a penis, so to Shmuley it looked as if he were masturbating, and he kept on thinking about how anything would be better than to go back to those kids. Just yesterday, he had caught Jacob looking at porn on his iPad during class. He didn’t send him to the principal’s office though. What would happen to a kid like that, if he got expelled? He’d go off the derech for sure.

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Shayna is a native Manhattanite whose interests include Torah, human rights, and poetry. An avid procrastinator, Shayna spends most of her time on Facebook, or watching any game involving the Brazilian soccer team. Brasil para Mundial 2014!
  • Banana

    When I was taking kallah classes, I was told that having sex with lights off is more spiritual than with lights on. Of course for me it went into one ear and out the other… where was a proof that it’s what g-d required? And it’s guidance like this that makes us ashamed of our bodies instead of appreciating them. My husband loves and appreciates every curve of my body and his eyes and mind do not go astray.

  • I got into this story and I know that I did, because I almost audibly shouted “no!” when the husband was revealed to be f***ing the college student in the water.

    Though the description of the Rabbi’s chin at the beginning made me groan, the rest of the story totally redeemed itself. I enjoyed the way that you developed Esther’s character, and I love the tie-in of the moonlight at the end. Write more for us?

    Separately, I would love to feature some pieces that eroticize spousal relationships without the extra-marital component. Just some good old-fashioned husband-wife erotica. Or husband-husband. Or wife-wife. You get the idea. Perhaps for a future piece? 🙂

  • Ayo, thank you for the kind comments and the feedback. Banana, I am glad that your husband loves and appreciates every curve of your body – that’s as it should be 🙂

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