Jewish Girl Seeks Goy
This is not exoticism. It’s the natural extension of that thing we all want out of love: expansiveness. The thrill of learning about someone else is ultimately a thrill of intimately discovering how the world looks to a mind that isn’t yours. This, I think, is the beauty of any close relationship—it doubles your universe, because you understand the world from the perspective of a second person.
I want part of that doubling to be religious and spiritual. I have always attended secular schools, and I had and have primarily non-Jewish friends, and I don’t want that to change. My close friendships with Catholics and Protestants and Muslims and Sikhs have given me a personal empathy and understanding that has never dampened my own religious beliefs.
I can’t imagine marrying someone who doesn’t offer that kind of doubling. It’s precisely because my religious identity is so fundamental to who I am that I don’t need it confirmed or solidified in a Jewish partner. I don’t want to convert or be converted; I want a difference in religious belief that enriches and enlivens our
relationship. I am certain that a non-Jew’s basic values, morals, intellect, ambitions, and lifestyle can all match mine.
Am I naïve in planning not only to surmount religious differences, but to seek them? Do I not think that anyone who cares too deeply about Jesus Christ will someday seem a foreigner to me? That kids will ruin any idyll we’ve managed to forge?
The answer, in brief, is no. No, I don’t think I’m naïve. I think I can find someone who agrees that religion is an educated choice, not a birthright. I hope to offer several educations; to explain as directly as possible that Mom thinks one thing and Dad another; to encourage education first, conviction second. I certainly plan to share my beliefs, my history, my traditions. But I am secure enough in all of them that I want to share more beliefs and history and traditions, not fewer.
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Dear Jewrotica
Confess
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