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Astray 2

Their first kiss was magical. She didn’t plan it, but she’d been expecting it for a long time, although what really happened had nothing to do with what she had in mind. And if you really think about it, it wasn’t magical at all. It was very clumsy: slobbery, with the embarrassing sound of teeth clashing. But it was the first of many to come, so she wasn’t about to complain.

What scared her the most wasn’t his wife, or his kids, or even the gossip. It was falling in love with him, something she swore to herself was never going to happen. But if she was perfectly honest with herself, which she was not, she knew she was doomed from the moment she saw him.

She was the oldest of the three children, with an unfortunate gap of infertility between her and her twin brothers, who were now approaching the age of 11.

Her father was worried with his boys’ Jewish education and had been considering sending them to a yeshiva in Israel for a few years. He didn’t think they were prepared enough, so he needed someone to start teaching them religion and Hebrew, and who better than the rabbi? Oy.

Her dad, the community shochet, was a prominent member of the community, and the rabbi’s refusal to teach his kids would be considered a personal and irredeemable offense. He wasn’t in a position to say no, especially after only months of being there, so he agreed. His wife would teach Hebrew to the boys and he would prepare them for the yeshiva’s entrance exam.

She took the opportunity life gave her. Even though she was not supposed to be in the classroom when her brothers were in class, she found every excuse she could think of to stay in the room just a little bit more. Need tea? She would deliver it. Want more paper or pencils? Sure, she’ll go get them for you.

And if anyone noticed their fingers touching or the rabbi standing a little bit closer than recommended, nobody said anything.

It wasn’t long before they started picking up where the lessons left off,  in the privacy of the Beit Haknesset when there was nobody else to be alarmed. And they sealed every single lesson with kisses full of passion and promises that would never be fulfilled.

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Dirty Di has the stuff that you want; she is the thing that you need. So if you're feeling devious, and looking glamorous, let’s get mischievous and polyamorous, because you live only once, so be sure you got it right. And if you don't, try again.